Sneak Preview, Circling the Aiport, 10 years of Marriage to the Bluesman.

Guess what Temperature it is in Oregon today?? About 150. No I guess it is like 94 but it is gonna be HOT for the next few days. The goat farm house has bad insulation and so the A?C does not work as well. We got some fans, we are gonna try our best to stay cool.

I complain WAYYYYY too much about things. I know this. AND I also know we are in the home stretch here... This coming week comes the insulation, then then the drywall the week after that and then they will really get going. There is a lot to do, pour concrete for a new driveway and walkway, install tons of lights, hang lamps put in cabinets etc.. But it is coming together, and We really can see the light at the end of this loooooong tunnel. Still, we have been out of our house for over a YEAR, and it has been a reallllly long road. I just want to feel SETTLED like I can put things away for GOOD. I can put stuff away in a drawer or a closet and KNOW that if I come back in a month it will still be there or I will not have to move it.

Really all of this unrest started in in FEB of 2007, not April when the house exploded, because February is when we started the remodel of almost the whole house. Starting in February we were living in one room of the house - all of us - with no kitchen. We got new floors in every room and had to move everything out of all the rooms into the Bonus room. The Bonus room later collapsed, and thus, we lost more stuff than we should have. It was all being stored in the room that collapsed and then caught on fire.

SO here I go again, complaining, but since February, we have been living out of boxes, suitcases... etc. We had JUST finished most of the remodel when the house blew, so really it has been 15 months since we have had a NORMAL life.

Saying over and over that I cannot wait to get back to my house does not help me get back there any faster. In fact if it were not 200 degrees outside I would be packing the POD right now. I just feel like I am stuck....sort of circling the airport. I can SEE the terminal, I can picture myself there, but I am not driving the plane. I cannot START anything I cannot ORGANIZE anything I cannot PLAN anything until we are back there. Limbo is okay for a while I guess, and I am trying hard to be patient. so BLAH BLAH BLAH


ON the good side, Spencer LOVES his swimming class and he is just amazing at it. Just fearless, and graceful and agile, and he may have found a passion. It is great to watch.

May 23d is my tenth wedding anniversary. We are ACTUALLY going to get a BABYSITTER and go out to dinner at a place where they DON'T sing the clapping Happy Birthday song every ten minutes. Marriage is not pure bliss every minute, but I have a great marriage and it is to a great man. He listens to TERRIBLE music. He loses his car keys and his wallet about 35 times each day. He can be kind of a space cadet, but he is a great person, a great Dad, a great husband, and we are really happy.

To me, the secret of a great marriage is to marry the right person in the first place, and then make a real commitment to respect each other's feelings. That means none of that sniping sort of verbal abuse that a lot of people get into. Once you cross that line, it is hard to come back.... once an awful thing is said, it is very very hard to take back and erase it from the memory of the person you know? Sometimes it takes all you have to NOT say the meanest thing you can think of, but I think about how much it might hurt him, so I try hard hard hard not to. That does not mean you do not tell the truth, which can also hurt, it just means, you know BE NICE. I grew up in a sort of a toxic, angry kind of household where hurtful things were said a lot and honestly it is no way to live. I refused to live that way after a certain point, and I will not tolerate it. I am not ever going to tiptoe around a person's temper, nor should anyone do this for me. We are not perfect but we try our best.