BIG Day Today... Well, not really .....

But we are taking Spencer to Little Clippers for a haircut. Then hitting Costco And it is snowing again today.

This morning I watched, as I do every Sunday AM the CBS Sunday morning program... You know the one with that older guy?

Anyway They had a thing on fallen veterans of this war, and it made me so so so so so very sad

I hate this war. HATE IT. When will it EVER end and what can I do to help stop all of this hideous horrible hatred in the world. This past year I did reduce slightly my dependence on foreign oil and got rid of my gas pig car.

I wonder what else I can do. I mean we are building the greenest house we can afford to build. We would have bought Hybrid or two but they are REALLLLY expensive. AGAIN I ask what else can I do?

And I also keep thinking, Where is Sonny Bono when we need him? He would never have allowed this war to go on so long. Sonny would have kicked Osama's ass by now.

Silly Little Poem I just wrote.

OUR FORMER LANDLORD, LT. COLONEL DOUCHEBAG

Ode to a former landlord
by Tydwbleach.

By the Way,
I must say,
Seems bad Karma has been sent:
Cuz Faux Chateau is STILL for rent.

http://portland.craigslist.org/clc/apa/521098317.html

Not to brag,
Not to Gloat,
But we are happier with the goat.
Guess Fake France is not so haute.

Not really haiku
but it will do
My kid NEVER, EVER stops talking
How about you?

MASTAH THESPIAN FRIDAY! NEW and IMPROVED!!!! Denzel and Natalie - Together at last

December 28th: On this day Denzel Washington was born.

DENZEL WASHINGTON

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000243/


ON this day Natalie Wood married Robert Wagner.

NATALIE WOOD:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000081/

What are your favorite Denzel and Natalie Movies?

Also a NEW feature of Master Thespian Friday:

NEW FEATURE PART ONE:

Guess the movies these quotes are from:

1
Mr. Boorg: How many children do you have?
Roy: None that I know of. I mean, I'm unable to have children. Nasty cheese grating accident as a boy


2
Corky St. Clair: I was shopping for my wife Bonnie. I buy most of her clothes and Mrs Pearl was in the same shop! And it just was an accident you know, we started talking... about panty hose, she was saying... whatever that's not the point of the story but what the point is is that through this accidental meeting... it's like a Hitchcock movie you know where you're thrown into a rubber bag and put in the trunk of a car, you find people. You find them. Something, is is it karma? Maybe. But we found him, that's the important thing. And I got Bonnie a wonderful pantsuit.

3.
Chaplain: Let us praise God. O Lord...
Congregation: O Lord...
Chaplain: ...Ooh, You are so big...
Congregation: ...ooh, You are so big...
Chaplain: ...So absolutely huge.
Congregation: ...So absolutely huge.
Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Chaplain: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...
Congregation: And barefaced flattery.
Chaplain: But You are so strong and, well, just so super.
Congregation: Fantastic.
Humphrey: Amen.
Congregation: Amen.



NEW FEATURE PART TWO:
From This Photo:



1. Guess what character this is,
2. Who is the thespian playing the character,
3. What movie is it from?



Answer these questions, or post your favorite Movie Moments from Denzel and Natalie

CHRISTMAS MIRACLE: SNOW. In Oregon.

Note: This is NOT the ACTUAL Snow from today.....

Yes, it snowed here today!!! You cannot even imagine how weird that is, But weirder still is how excited everyone is about it. People here LOVE snow, because they never see it or have to deal with it. They do not know what FREEZING RAIN is, or the joys of shoveling your way out of your own back door. I am from Michigan. I Knew the Snow. The Snow was a friend of mine. THIS, sir, is NOT SNOW.

BUT Let them have their fun..

Most of the presents were a hit. The Thomas the Train Aquadoodle was huge, along with the HUGE FIRE TRUCK that has lights, makes siren noises and has a ladder that lifts up. He loved Leap Frog Refrigerator "Word Whammer" thing, and right now he and Bill are in his room with the Leap Frog MY FIRST COMPUTER thing. He loved the dragon kite and most of the clothes from his Aunts.... But then how much does anyone love clothes from their Aunt? He also loves his new Timex For Kids Lizard watch, and his Safari plane that goes along with his Safari jeep from a co called IMAGINEXT HE also has a walking, roaring dinosaur from that co. They make really cool toys.

I took a nap for a bit, since I got hardly any sleep. I was up til dawn attempting to wrap the biggest fire engine in history. It still pales in comparison to the legendary TV Bill got his parents one year. I had to wrap that thing - it was NOT EASY. Worst ever was this talking Winnie the Pooh for Bill's nephews, and I had to re do it like 4 times because Pooh had a lot of moving sticky outy parts. Quelle Nightmare... it never occurred to me to get a GIFT BAG.

The best part of today really was just how excited he was and that we are all together. Later this week I plan to go see CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR with my friend Siri. But today,, later one we will eat Organic Dinner.

I hope all of your Christmases were, if not white, at least nice.

Wow. I am really a grown up now.

Sort of. Well, this year Bill and I did not get each other presents at all. I mean I cheated I got him a Columbia wallet for like 16 bucks and two huge Cadbury bars. He got me two cd's. BUT we got mostly presents for Spencer. The thing that surprises me is that I do not care at all. Its like I am not longer invested so much in "things." I am pretty surprised and happy about this, actually. I guess I would like a better car radio, some other stuff, but honestly I am getting less and less worried about THINGS.

This surprises me.

We got our dinner for tomorrow from WHOLE PAYCHECK (Foods) along with some organic everything else too. Exciting, huh? Spencer is FINALLY in bed we still have a present or two to wrap and then we are gonna watch netflix movies and just relax.

That kid has been insane all week long. Its like every morning he wakes up and its like he was shot out of a cannon, and then he just goes goes goes all day long. he was CRAZY ion Whole Foods today running into people, grabbing asparagus, wandering off, and I only have ONE KID. I do NOT understand how people ever have more than one kid. I love mine SOOOO much but he is ENOUGH He is really a handful. He NEVER EVER stops talking, yelling, jumping around running - he is a total spazz. If I get pregnant again ever I might just have to throw myself in front of a train.

Its Christmas Eve..........

Wow Where did THIS year go?
Well, though we have yet to indoctrinate him on the whole SANTA thing, Spencer will be getting a few presents this year. They are all wrapped and under the tree. I am not sure why we have not done the whole Santa thing I guess because Bill is sort of against it in a way. His parents were, and they never really had Christmas trees. I could care less though I do remember believing in Santa was one of the more magical things in my childhood.

So anyway. Here is what Spencer is getting for Christmas: Two Leap Frong things one is this magnetic thing that helps him sound out letters and words on the refrigerator and also this Leap Frog MY FIRST COMPUTER thing that also will help him learn to read. I have two friends who are teachers that highly recommended this. AND since Spencer will NEVER EVER be allowed to play NINTENDO or PLAYSTATION crap, this is the closest he will get to that. I am dead set against kid doing video games. I just think they are just CRAP - trashy, violent, horrific, and moronic. I am sure I will not be able to prevent him from doing them at other kid's houses etc but we will never have it at home.

HE also got a KITE, that is like nylon and in the shape of a dragon. He will LOVE it. SInce we have two acres I think he can fly it here without any problems. Also, I got him a kid's Timex Watch really cute with a lizard on it. A piggy bank, a raincoat, oh and an AQUA DOODLE which is like this drawing thing.

His big present will have to wait for after we move into the new house, we are getting him a trampoline, but I guess they are a TOTAL pain to set up and everyone says do NOT get one until we get to the new house. We did find a really good one, though a website called JUMPSPORT is reportedly the best and safest trampoline.

So anyway... tomorrow we will drag ourselves once again over to WHOLE FOODS to get dinner. Sad Huh? BUt you cannot make Christmas Dinner in the Crock Pot, so what is a mom to do.. I spent the day partly today making a replica of the Canby Ferry out of this Cardboard Box. We put signs on it and stuff with tape and ribbons and it looks really cool Spencer uses it to push his little cars around the house.

I also watched a movie called A GOOD YEAR after he went to bed. It was really a great movie. Russell Crowe is in it and its really good I really liked it. It is based on the books by Peter Mayle, who wrote the whole A YEAR IN PROVENCE stuff.

I cannot find my phone or else I would post the pics of the Canby Ferry. Spencer loves it. We had a great time doing it. Then he spilled my Diet Pepsi all over me. Then we ate dinner - frozen stuff from Costco.

ONE fun thing about your house blowing up....

You get to build a new one from scratch. Now, this cannot be an entirely different house, unless the foundation is toast and if it is, then all bets are off. We will not know this until they completely rip it down.

I have to admit I am looking forward to picking out things like cabinets, fixtures, wall colors, granite, bathroom tiles... all this kind of stuff. We are reusing SOME things but a lot of it got messed up. Some cabinets, for example, LOOK fine, but upon closer inspection have a sticky residue that will not come off. This is because the finish of the wood MELTED.

Until we get to the part where its time to pick stuff out, it really just bores the hell out of me. I am probably being stupid but I am just pretty much letting Bill think about crap like insulation, energy star water heaters, 90 percent efficiency furnaces and all of that other stupid crap. I am pretty much COMPLETELY burned out on just about ANYTHING having to do with the house. I do not even want to hear the word house. I can only spend about 8 minutes maximum a day talking about anything having to do with the house until my head starts feeling as if it will explode. I mean it literally makes my brain just HURT. SO I am letting Bill just worry about crap with the lawyers, WAMU crap, mediation crap I mean, I help, but I really do not want to hear much about anything until it is time to call Habib the Tile Guy so he can come over and revolutionize my bathroom.

Until that time, I would like to pretty much pretend I am at the movies. I am sitting there drinking my 56 oz $7.00 Diet Pepsi, and eating my box of DOTS or NECCO WAFERS(smuggled in from Walgreen's), and my GINORMOUS $8.00 TUB O POPCORN, that is bigger than my head. I am watching a really great and either extremely funny or extremely engrossing movie. No horror ( Freddy), no gross out stuff (Kingpin), no murder after murder(The Departed), no teenagers(American pie), no cartoons(SHREK), no "message" movies (The American President), where at the end you feel like they are saying, "Now, WHAT have we LEARNED?", no weird ones (Vanilla Sky) where at the end you are going WHAT THE HELL was THAT?",nothing about space or aliens(ALIEN), and NOTHING involving four hour epics about dwarfs, elves, or witch school (you know what they are).

Instead I am watching Tootsie, Rushmore, Out of Africa, Michael Clayton, The Firm, Who Killed the Electric Car?, Best in Show, Spinal Tap... something like this. I am at the movies and planning my new kitchen. I pretty much do not want to hear about anything else.


As Martha would say, "Denial. It's a Good Thing."

Yet Another milestone reached in my Hideous Experimental Cooking.

I am not quite sure what went wrong with this one... It was made in the crock pot, with chicken, sundried tomatoes and artichoke hearts. I guess the first clue might be that even though the recipe said to, chicken should probably not cook for eight hours. It turned out pretty revolting, but at least the dogs liked it. Then I also made this Paula Deen Corn Casserole, which was good but WAY too rich.

I have yet to find many good crock pot recipes. I need to find some, and I have rented out like EVERY SINGLE Crock Pot cookbook in the entire Clackamas County Library System. The other night I made some other weird thing that was like Crock Pot Greek Meatloaf... Its just not working out so well. Maybe I should get a new appliance to work with. Maybe a waffle iron, or a George Foreman Grill.

Well they are sort of starting to tear down the house I mean do prelim work to tear it down strip away some stuff to find the weak points or something like this. I really don't know what the hell they are doing actually. It should get underway soon.

Today I wrapped some presents, and cooked some stuff and went to the mailbox and the library. I wrote more X mas cards, and I have to go back to work in January and already the kid is driving me up the freaking wall. But I do love him.

Well I wish I could write more about my exciting life, but I have to read "Curious George Gets a Medal."

Tear DOWN IS IMINENT.

Builder has the tear down permit.. Just a few details left to iron out and we re gonna rip that sucker down.

This is why I am happy I no longer live in Michigan:

I have a lot of friends and some family there, and I love them all. BUT this is my little brother's house there, and his buried car. What a nightmare. It does not hardly EVER snow here, which is why I am NEVER going back to the snow. I may visit, in warm weather, but I will never LIVE there again.

It rains here day after day after day after day. But you never have to SHOVEL rain.

Phone Company Strikes Again.

Earlier this evening yet another house was destroyed by some kind of an industrial accident. At this time the cause is still undetermined, however the phone co is going on record as saying that they believe in this instance faulty construction was partly to blame.





Crews were on the scene immediately trying to repair the damage:
Residents of the nearby homes were evacuated, as were the residents of the exploded house. Thankfully no one in the home was seriously injured, though were quoted as saying they felt flattened by the experience.

Preschool Tree Party

Well We got there and Teacher Gina had all of these little tiny fake trees. We had to gather as a family and each decorate one of them. Then on Monday and Tuesday, the last days of school for the year, the kids are going to walk in a line over to the Senior Center next door to the school and give them the trees we all made. Last time they went to the Senior Center they read books to the Seniors, supposedly. It all went fine for Spencer and the elderly lady he was paired with. She found him charming, but then, in his usual exuberance he went to hug her goodbye and almost knocked her over.

At the party there were cookies and cider and I guess it was okay Not as fun as we thought, and they did not give us parents our secret presents yet. I did get to meet a lot more of the moms and dads though, and Bill also knows all of the kids, and he was pointing them out to me, but honeslty they all started to blend together after a while.

I could NEVER do what Bill does volunteering at that preschool. Everyone is really nice but everything in there is really small - the chairs the stuff all kinds of potential messes to clean up. I would CONSTANTLY be worried about the messes and the chaos. I don't know how anyone works with that many kids on one room. I would throw myself in front of a bus.

Then tomorrow we were supposed to go to Travis's (my friend Siri's son) annual Toddler Holiday Party. Its always fun and there is just kid food and favors and they make ornaments and stuff and everyone has so much fun. BUT Travis is not feeling well and so it has been postponed til Jan 5


I have to work from 11 - 3 but then after this I am off til Tuesday and then I think I will work only til Friday and then I'm off tile after New years probably.

Today we had a conference call with our attorney Herb ( Robin to Joel's Batman) and we went over the contracts and stuff. The house and its evirons are all COMPLETELY EMPTY and as soon as we can we are ready to tear down. I cannot WAIT.


Over the break I plan to do a few things.. I would like for one day for us to go to that Evergreen Aviation Museum, that houses the SPRUCE GOOSE airplane. its a plane that was built by Howard Hughes and it is made out wood I guess. Also we are going to see a couple of movies.. we are going to get a sitter and have her watch both Spencer and Travis and then Steve and Siri and Bil & I are gonnna go see that move "WALK HARD the DEWEY COX STORY" It looks hilarious. I also would like to see Charlie Wilson's War.

However no big plans other than this kind of stuff. Just hang with the goat. I guess. WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR CHRISTMAS:??

Two new pictures of Elmo the Sexy Beast Goat.

Hi, My name is Elmo, I am a Scorpio, I am into grass and long walks in the field. I am looking for someone to share my barn and my tree with. I don't have horns, currently but that does not mean I am not horny. Turn ons: blackberries, dogs, snacking on patio furniture. Turn offs: negativity, fertilizer, raccoons and squirrels. Not into head games, No sheep please, no drugs, no smokers, no fats, no femmes.

An Homage to Mom....

To celebrate my Dad's birthday. I am, this week, honoring my mom. She was a sister who was doin' it for herself. All day long she put up with sh*t from men in the workplace, and then she came home to me. She had been married to this doctor, my dad, where her main job was going to little luncheons dressed like Doris Day, and steering committees. Then, she flew the coop, and pretty soon Jane was a divorced, bra burning, Gloria Steinem Admiring, '71 Pontiac Catalina Convertible Driving, full time working, single mom. The "Mom" part has long been a little questionable, as I grew up on Stouffer's frozen food, our house looked a little like the one in "Running with Scissors" and the only cookies she ever made were Madelines. However, at least she was around, unlike certain other Oncologists who shall remain nameless.

She cooked, but only from recipes from the New York Times Magazine, and only things like the Hors D'oeurves from Truman Capote's Black and White Ball, or things with capers, caviar and other odd things kids hate.... Stuff like that.
For the dull every day cooking she abhorred, her number one weapon of choice was the CROCK POT.

This week, all week long, we are honoring Jane by making only dinners in the Crock Pot. Forty Years Later, her daughter, who also cannot cook her way out of a paper bag (?) is still using the trust;y old crock pot... But mine is not Harvest Avocado....

All of the recipes this week are from the "Fix it and Forget It Lightly" Cookbook I got from the library. I have recently discovered our library and it is freaking AWESOME and I currently have like 36 books checked out.

So tonight is Stuffed Peppers, tomorrow night is ground beef casserole, then Southwestern chicken, and then on Friday, Beef Stroganoff.

Jane, you were weird and stressed out and a little bit crazy but I loved you very much, and I am a lot like you actually, whether I want to be or not.

OK Its official: I am annoyed by Michael Buble. YECCCCHHHH.

First of all he is just some kind of Sinatra knock off, and I KNOW that he likes the Nostalgia music and I mean, so do I! In college in Wisconsin I had an entire three hour radio show full of the stuff, mostly from records I found in the basement of my house. But at least I did not pretend to be Doris Day and make a career out of it. Plus other people have already done that gig just WAY BETTER Harry Connick Jr, for starters.

SO whatever. I am sure that his future holds a two year stint at the Celine Dion theatre in Vegas. But you will not see me in the audience. YUCK.

Oh Yeah.... Its ALLL HAPPENING in GROSSE POINTE.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-ODD-Cursing-Nun.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

What to name Iplaw's new baby girl. UPDATED

HADLEY HEMINGWAY

OONA O'NEIL CHAPLIN

Hmmm.

I can only tell you the names I picked if Spencer had been a girl.

Oona. Or you can spell is Oonaugh. I like this name. It was Eugene O'Neil's daughter's name, who married Charlie Chaplin.

My other choice was Hadley. Not many famous Hadleys, except Ernest Hemingway's third wife.

SO there you have it.
Oona Hadley Iplawbaby.
Or, Hadley Oona Iplawbaby.

I am sure everyone will hate these names...

UPDATE: I thought of two more that I like. I also like AVERY and AVA.

SO there.

SO NOW what are YOUR ideas!!!!!!!???????!!!!!

UPDATE MISSY HAS BEEN FOUNDSend out some good karma.... Missy the dog is Missing.

OKAY UPDATE We found her about a mile away on Gribble road near the famous Gribble Barn whose claim to fame was that it was once filmed in a Burger King Commercial.
http://gribblebarn.com/

ANYWAY It seems that she ended up in a septic tank or soemnthing because she just REEKED but she is back very tired and stinky but home. For now.

This is awfully hard work chasing all of these runaway dogs and goats.






She took off again to the nursery down the road again and of course being the bad girl she is, led the other dog astray as well. However, Amy came back and Bill found her but not Missy. Missy is wearing two tags with our name and address all over them, so if anyone finds here they should call.

We just hope nothing happened to her.

So if she should show up in your neighborhood, just ship her on back to us...

COME BACK, MISSY!!! You are a MEATLOAF!!!! You like to sleep all day next to the heater.... you will NEVER MAKE it out in the wild!!!!

Most people tried to tell me that Beagles are a pain in the ass. She is a sweet dog, but she follows her nose and sometimes it does not let her come back home....

MASTER THESPIAN THIS WEEK dedicated to IPLAW

it is also 70's week in Master Thespian....

IPLAW and his wife are expecting!!!!!! YAY!!!!

Master Thespians for this week are:

Clint Eastwood

http://imdb.com/name/nm0000142/

and

Jane Fonda

http://imdb.com/name/nm0000404/


WINNER for this week GETS TO NAME IPLAW's BABY!!!!!!

Here is My Suggestion:

Since he already has one adorable girl names Mamie Eisenhower Iplawtoddler,

This girl should be named:

Eleanor Roosevelt Ladybird Iplawinfant.


So put your fav movie moments long with name suggestions here and

well..

Do ya feel lucky, Punk? Well, Do ya?

NEWS FLASH!!! Goatless Goat Farm No Longer Going to be Goatless!!!!!

Apparently RJ The owner of this house and our landlord, took his goat to his Dad's house and the goat is driving his father insane.. SO he is BRINGING THE GOAT BACK HERE!!!! I guess the goat is sort of maintenance free. You have to make sure it has water and stuff but other than that it just hangs out in this big field. It sleeps in the barn on some hay. SO the goat farm will no longer be goatless. We are all looking forward to the goat arrival. I have always wanted to live with a goat!