HABITUS INTERRUPTUS, DAY 447 - Have you met my friend, Captain Morgan???

Me, in a month.

I should just rename this blog "ENDLESS COMPLAINING."

Here in Portland it is balmy 94 degrees at 8 PM. The A?C in the Goat Farm of course is useless, and we now cannot open the windows because there are people here painting the outside.

Today we found out that our house will NOT be finished, and we will have to be out of it for an EXTRA MONTH. Move in date: Sept 1. That means we will now miss the SECOND ENTIRE summer in our neighborhood, including the Corn Lady etc. However, not only that, it is likely that we will be on our own financially as far as where we will have to stay until the house is done. There probably will be no hotel or whatever, because naturally we have to fight the power at every single step. Bill will lose all those weeks of work, and we will literally have no place to live. This means in all likelihood we will be staying at Grandma's house in So Cal. Not terrible, we love her, I love her house, and I truly love spending time with her. She is SUCH a special person....but it is hot down there in the summer, and we will be far away, so any decisions re: the house or lawyers etc will have to be made while we are like 17 hours away. Oh and we probably have to sell the van so those 17 hours will be driven in a teeny Toyota, with a four year old and a dog.

I am from MICHIGAN and ask anyone, I CANNOT deal with heat of any kind. I just CANNOT. I turn into this horrible beast in the heat and it is truly terrible. Seriously I try to be as nice as I can but as the temp rises and there is NO RELIEF, I just cannot manage it. I am mean, nasty miserable, horrible....EVEN MORE THAN USUAL. It is really spoiled and immature but I am not denying that. I am not trying to hide it, I just KNOW MYSELF. I am not PROUD of this, but I know my limitations.

I had one goal and that was to make it to July 31 with the crappy AC on the goat farm and now that is going to be delayed in four of the hottest most miserable weeks of the year.

I KNOW there are tons of people who do not have AC and modern conveniences and they so much worse off than I am and I feel like a total ass for complaining, which is just an added bonus really... I mean there are soldiers in Iraq getting limbs blown off, people living in FEMA trailers still three years later, there are people with sick children, or sick relatives and people who are sick themselves. People are losing their jobs, their houses and their lives to predatory lending practices or whatever...

Cap'n Morgan

So I am an idiot, I KNOW, but its gonna be REALLLLLY hard not to start drinking. And I don't really drink. I mean one glass of wine with dinner and I almost pass out asleep. But this might be the time to start.

In order to get through this I am just going to have to suck it up and try to control the things that I CAN BE in control of, which are things like trying hard to be a good mom, going to Bionic Curves, Weight Watchers, packing - Stuff like that. It will be hot, and difficult, but I am going to try to make the best of it and be the drunkest, physically fittest, most effective murderously angry parent in the state of Oregon.