My Name is Sally O'Malley and I'm FIFTY YEARS OLD

I swear to you there is a woman at my Curves who is like this business manager person.... SHE IS that Molly Shannon Character on SNL.. She has the big hair, the intense Mary Kay, the RED VELVET like track suit, giant sparkly glasses circa 1985....I have not LOOKED for the Camel Toe cause its too gross but I am sure its there.... I am sure somewhere in her wardrobe there is also a leopard skin purse. I doubt she can tell stories about sleeping with Mickey Rooney, but I'll bet she can KICK, and STRETCH and KICK!!!!!!!!!

I cannot even look at her when I go there now.....
I want to just scream out... I'MMMMMM FIFTY!!!!!! FIFTY YEARS OLD!!!!!!!