Red Robin is the new FRIDAY's

Martini is.........

The New Shampoo

I swear I get so annoyed when people say things are "the new______" Do you? I think Oprah started it with her whole 40 is the new 30 deal... Now it seems I hear it ALL the time... Bruge is the new Venice, Houston is the new Venice, Baja is the new Provence, Red is the new Black, Black is the new Beige, On and On it goes. I thought we could have fun just making some UP and see if they take off, so EVERYONE can be annoyed like I am.

I slept all day today because I had a bad cold. Then I skipped my WW meeting too, but so did Siri. She teaches 4rth grade and she had a 4th grade concert to go to. I am still sick and I did Curves Monday but not today so I feel like I do not want to miss tomorrow AM...So I will go with Bill when he takes Spencer to preschool and he can drop me at Curves on the way.... and then its just enough time for me to get it done and he comes to get me ont he way home. I could drive myself, but this way I really really go. I still feel like CRAP and I may abondon this idea depending on how I feel but I do not want to get behind on my Curves... lately its one of the few things keeping me sane. Well, they have started the house and they should have it all framed in a couple of weeks. I am not sure what that is, but I assume it is good. Right now it just looks like foundation with a criss cross wooden floor thing. Nick says he may get it done earlier than the end of the summer. That would be GREAT not to miss another summer in the neighborhood, and I think the sooner we get off the Goat Farm the better, However I may miss it A LITTLE. Its great not being so close to your neighbors and stuff.

Anyway:

Here are my Top Fictional "______ is the new______."

Branson is the New Vegas,
Dubai is the new Branson,
Tyra Banks is the New Princess Margaret
Grapes are the new Flounder
Canby is the New Molalla
Orange Juice is the new Formal Wear
Gossip is the new Porn
The Doodlebops are the New Wiggles
Preschool is the new Kindergarten
Toyota is the Cuisinart
Mauve is the new Aubergine
Catnip is the new Osler
Salsa is the new Applesauce
Martinis are the new Shampoo


NOW ITS YOUR TURN!!!!!!!!

Sure its goofy - Gold's Gym it Isn't - but I like it!!!!

Curves. Yes, its a little goofy, a little cultish and full of sort of lumpy older women... (not unlike myself, let's face it.) They all wear the cutesy "Curves" T shirts, they all know each other, and they all like to talk about goofy stuff when they exercise. It reminds me of those ladies at my grandparents condo in Florida, you know those ones who swim REALLLLLY slowly in the pool and never put their head under the water? My living nightmare when I would go down to FL was that I could NOT wait to swim but I would always get busted by Mrs. Leposky and have to put on a bathing cap. Then, since I would have forgotten mine at home in Michigan, I would have to use my grandmother's which was covered in flowers. CRAAAAAAP!!!!!!!

Mrs. Leposky and the other overly tanned 78 year old women who mostly looked like a raisin had mated with a praying mantis, would sit around the pool half of the day til "their stories" came on in the afternoon, and would talk about their painting classes and their latest medical procedures... GAWD. As a TERMINALLY BORED 14 year old I would look forward to their leaving for the afternoon when I would have the pool to myself, even though it was hottest then. I would enjoy the quiet while nurturing my third degree burns... Florence Leposky fancied herself quite an artist and had hundreds of HORRIBLY PAINTED canvases in the condo she shared with her husband Howard. Together they unofficially ruled Vista D'Oro, and if you have ever watched Seinfeld where his parents talk about the politics at their condo in FL, Del Boca Vista, I swear to God it is ALL TRUE!! At Vista D'Oro the biggest fight was always over the temperature of the pool and when to have the Pot Luck in the Rec Room.

Anyway... Curves reminds me of all the holidays I spent at Vista D'Oro, and in a way I find it sort of comforting. Slowly my body is getting used to the workout there and I suspect in about 6 - 8 months I will be ready for a REAL gym, but until then, I enjoy toning my pectorals while getting good recipes for something called "Brown Betty" and Oatmeal Scones. Most of the ladies at my Curves are retirees from Hope Village, a Retirement Community just down the road from my Sploded House.

Hey Speaking of the SPLODED HOUSE, they started the framing today!!!!!! WHEW HOO!

"Curves-Isms"

• Curves is "The Girl Power Half Hour"
• Curves Mission: "Strengthening Women".
  
• At Curves, your Health and Fitness is our Business.
• Invite a friend to Curves and you will never be lonely.
• Curves - The Power To Amaze Yourself!
• Meet Your Next Best Friend at Curves.
• No Men, No Makeup, No Mirrors.
• Friends "LET" Friends Workout at Curves.
• Curves is your Safe Place to Workout.
• Curves is a Community of Support.
• Curves Works!

This is a REALLLLY good Pilot

I am not sure if this will work...

Richard Engel, The Most Courageous reporter I have ever seen

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/25/AR2006102501982_pf.html

You maybe have never heard of this guy This is an article about Richard Engel, the Middle East Coreespondent for NBC. Before that he was like this nutty Freelance guy.. He is 33 and fearless... I think he is so courageous.
The article above is from the Washington Post, and the Article below is from the NY Times.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/24/arts/television/24enge.html

Article in NY Times @ TOOTSIE.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/02/magazine/02wwln-medium-t.html?_r=1&ref=television&oref=slogin

Master Thespian Survey Friday: BEST OSCARS EVER - WHAT ARE YOURS???

At this point I have no idea what do do with Master Thespian Friday, but I am not a quitter. I will keep trying things until I figure out something that works. I cannot post any Movie Moods lately because for some reason on my blog only the YouTube will PLAY but no sound happens. I have no idea what that is about... My guess is some kind of curse from either Dada Drummer or the Spanish Medievalist, and probably Osler put them up to it.... OR it was the work of the Evil Skunk that is living in the back seat or my Toyota.

SO here is this week's Master Thespian Friday:

Your ALL TIME OSCAR Nominations and/or Winners: Just post yours... or if you can think of more categories, do those..

Here are mine:

Best Actress EVER -
Meryl Streep,
Susan Sarandon,
Bette Davis

Best Actor, EVER -
Gene Hackman,
Tom Hanks,
Don Cheadle,
Al Pacino
Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Dustin Hoffman


Best Comic Actress EVER-
Joan Cusack,
Diane Keaton,
Sarah Jessica Parker
Gilda Radner
Sandra Bullock

Best Comic Actor, EVER:
Bill Murray,
Owen Wilson,
Ben Stiller
Will Ferrell
John Belushi

Best Supporting Actress, EVER - Joan Cusack in Working Girl

Best Supporting Actor, EVER -
Bill Murray in Tootsie,
Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Next Stop Wonderland
Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Along Came Polly
William H Macy in State and Main

Most Charming Handsome Leading Man EVER-
Cary Grant,
Hugh Grant,
Robert Redford,
Russell Crowe
Alec Baldwin
George Clooney

Most Lovely Beautiful Enticing Leading Woman:
Meryl Streep,
Sigourney Weaver
Bette Davis
Judy Garland,
Grace Kelly
Deborah Kerr

Funniest Movie, Period, EVER -
Tootsie,
Rushmore,
Manhattan,
Small Time Crooks,
Annie Hall

Best Drama, EVER:
All the Presidents Men
Out of Africa
The Firm
Erin Brockovich
Michael Clayton
Proof of Life

Best Action Film EVER - ??? The Firm? The Fugitive (Harrison Ford one)

Best Outer Space Movie, EVER Blecch... I don't know - The First ALIEN?

Best Hobbit/Elf/Magician movie EVER Uhmm I dunno Not My Thing.

Best Spoof Movie, EVER -
Airplane,
Office Space,
Dill Scallion,
Spinal Tap,
Best in Show,
Blades of Glory
The Wedding Singer

Best Classic Movie Ever -
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane,
To Catch A Thief,
Affair to Remember

Best Modern Romantic Comedy EVER -
Music & Lyrics,
You've Got Mail,
A Good Year,
About a Boy,
Groundhog Day
Two Weeks Notice

Best Movie that makes you Cry, EVER -
Stealing Home,
Out of Africa,
Schindler's List,
The Way We Were
Love Story

Best Kid's move, EVER - Finding Nemo

Best Independent Movie EVER -
Next Stop Wonderland
Boogie Nights

Best Documentary EVER - Grey Gardens, Who Killed the Electric Car?

Best Old Hollywood Musical: Singing in the Rain

Best Old Hollywood Singer: Judy Garland


OKAY now: YOU ARE THE ACADEMY!!!! VOTE!!!!!

I don't even know what to say about this....

other than it is brilliant. I love the guy in the back... MORE COWBELL!!!!

Its Spring on the Goat Farm..... HERE COME THE FROGS!!!!!!!

God help me, I swear to you... there are endless surprises here on this Godforsaken Goat Farm where I live.. First there were ducks, and the giant great dane, and the horse noises all the time, and the chickens, and the stinky Llamas across the road... Lately we smell skunks like ALLLLL the TIME, I mean EVERY NIGHT and not around the corner but I think that there is seriously a skunk out to get us and he poops his smell out like every night..I literally smell it EVERY TIME I get in the car,. I think he is living in the back seat of my Toyota.... and get this.. now we have FROGS..

Yes we have these Frogs apparantly they come out this time of year of their little hiding place near the creek which is on the other side of the goat barn, and they are SO LOUD.. Not only that, Bill says that there are like A HUNDRED of them. Seriously, there are like ONE HUNDRED FROGS living about 300 yards from where I sleep. What the FRICK is next???? LOCUSTS????

I mean it is bad enough that the goat is stinky and makes noise every morning, and then when he starts up then all the lovely animals get going in the AM and thus its like a choir of chickens and I think maybe a donkey and God knows what else.... Then the air smells like cow poo from the dairy down the road...

But NOW,, EVERY NIGHT there are like 50 decibel frogs that make this huge noise outside all night.. I close my bedroom door and get under the covers and I swear its like they are in the hallway.

How much is a person supposed to take?????? I never thought I would say this but I CANNOT WAIT TO GET BACK TO THE SUBURBS where I will no longer have to see the food chain in action, where they only smell is of my neighbor constantly pressure washing his driveway and the only sound is the sound of toddlers driving electric jeeps and maybe that one kid two doors down playing basketball like 23 hours a day. The most dangerous thing that ever happens is when Jen and Andy next door have one of their wild parties and the other neighbors behind them call the cops, which means in the morning they will think it was US who called, until we can once again convince them otherwise....

Seriously, the worst thing that happens in the summer on Sycamore Street is that the Corn Lady runs out of Cantaloupe.

Well.... once in a while a house explodes I guess........

BUT - There are no Killer Frogs or Evil Skunks after me, maybe a pissed off Soccer Mom, but NO LONGER will there be MOOING, cows, frogs, ducks, donkeys, goats, skunks or sulfur showers. Bill says I will miss the goat farm when we leave. I say probably not, unless I suffer a closed head injury. Its like the Extreme Home Edition of FARM ANIMALS GONE WILD ..... AND ITS ONLY FEBRUARY!!!!!!! I am terrified of what the summer will bring. Until then, I wait for the frogs to come for me.

Boogies Cancelled Due to Writer Strike.....

I have been really busy doing things for the mediation, like reconstructing fiscal years and gathering documents and STILL filling out claim forms. Batman left for Africa and will be gone until April. I am also planning the grand Reptile Birthday Extravaganza. Also worte mean email to PBS Kids about horrible show called The Hoobs. Also I have been going to Curves a lot, just because it is a nice break and I feel really great and energized afterwards.

As far as the Oscars tonight, I have only seen ONE of the nominated movies: Michael Clayton. While excellent I doubt Clooney will win. Since I hate bloody violent scary movies I doubt I will ever see There will be Blood or No Country for Old Men. I never made it to see Charlie Wilson's War, but would have if I had found the time. I do know who that woman who played Edith Piaf was, Marianne Cotillard. She was in a great little movie called A Good Year with Russell Crowe and Albert Finney. It was based on the Peter Mayles Year in Provence books. It was so nice to see Russel Crowe just playing a normal guy instead of a gladiator or cyborg or something stupid.....I also liked him in that movie with Meg Ryan where that guy from St Elsewhere gets kidnapped.

I also have like 46 books checked out from the Canby Library currently.

I have so much to do tomorrow that I think I might be on the phone the ENTIRE day. I cannot wait until this mediation is over When it is, we are planning a trip to Florida to visit my Uncle and also take Spencer to Disney/Epcot/Space Center/ Busch Gardens Everglades Et al. Uncle John is my mother's brother, and he has never even met Spencer, and Bill has never been to Florida. He lives down there with his friend/companion/whatever she is Linda and their two dogs. We p[lan to stay with them part of the time and then do the tourist stuff too. Normally staying at Disney would be out of the question, since it sooooo expensive but I think they have a thing where kids fly free if you do and coming all the way from Oregon, that would make it worth it , maybe. I have not done the math yet....

I have given up cooking for the time being. I plan only to make some soup in the near future and figure out stuff to make for the birthday party. ALso, I have to figure out who from Spencer's Preschool to invite? I don't want to leave anyone out, but he goes to THREE CLASSES there...I thought about inviting ONly the boys, but then he is friends with a bunch of girls, too.
There are also like 20 kids coming already from the Exploded house neighborhood. With all those kids plus all those reptiles it is going to be a freaking zoo. I thought about having it somewhere else, like Bullwinkles this one place with all this stuff for kids to do, But this kid Ashton had his b day party there recently and Spencer went to it, and all they had was pizza and cake and yet every kid got food poisoning. Plus I have already booked the reptile lady.

Quelle Nightmare.

Time for THE BOOGIES!!!

The Coveted BOOGIE ^
Just ignore that plaque.... its a typo

Oh By the way: It is STILL for rent: The Faux Chateau, that is....

http://portland.craigslist.org/clc/apa/581296348.html

Anyway I am sure you are all, my adoring public, waiting for Master Thespian Friday, which is sort of being remodeled... But I do not want to disappoint both of you....

So I am holding my first ever Fake Oscars, The Boogie Awards, or The Boogers for short...

SO STAY TUNED I will announce the Nominations shortly.

Octopus video....Welcome to my nightmare.....

Sorry to offend but EWWWWWWWWWWW

Aquarium trip was a HIT.

I amd back.. I did not take my laptop with me to the coast. and I would not let Bill take his either. it was only one night but we had fun. Spencer had a BLAST at the aquarium and at the beach. He flipped out over the octopus and the jellyfish, as well as over the sharks and stingrays. He also touched a starfish in the touch pool.

We stayed at a decent hotel with the tackiest furniture and decor I have seen since that one weekend we spent in Lake Tahoe Caesars's Palace. Yikes.... There was a five foot tall lamp that was a statue of a woman in a genie outfit holding up two white orbs that were the lamp The rest of the furniture was just like the above picture. A lot of the hotels on the coast are like this, but at least you never forget your visit...



We had a forgettable dinner, had a good time playing in the sand on the beach and we had a great time at the aquarium. it was good to get out of town even for a little while. Spencer learned a lot about fish and he had a great time.

The aquarium kind of freaked me out.... I mean I hated that tunnel that went under the ocean or whatever... seriously



My worst nightmares are being stuck in the ocean without a boat, and seeing sharks and stingray above my head all over.. I hate creepy crawlie things anyway the grossest thing to me was the octopus - have you ever really LOOKED at an OCTOPUS????? it was HUGE and soooooooo disgusting looking I mean I cannot get that picture of that thing out of my head..... and when we could not see it, the lady from the place went into the tank and pet it to "wake it up" so that we could see it.. God I SO WISH I had exited at that point but Spencer was practically peeing his pants and screaming with delight and jumping all over he LOVED it. I was so happy for him but I never ever need to see another octopus, live or dead, ever again.

Traveling Poet - Chris Elliott

I don't even know what this is...

Movie Mood for Friday Also weekend plans

This is an aerial view of Lincoln City, Oregon where we will visit Sunday

Have you ever had a zit on your EYEBALL, MARY?????

Chris Elliot should have been nominated for an Oscar for this part.....
There are no quizzes today, just this silly clip from this silliest of movies. I hope your Valentine's day was great. Mine was okay but what made it worthwhile was Spencer coming home all sticky holding Valentines from all of his classmates at preschool. he was so excited! Bill worked at the preschool ALL DAY yesterday. He was sticky too, and tired.

We are all going crazy trying to get ready for the mediation hearing in April. One of our attorneys (Batman) is leaving for Africa with his family for like 6 weeks tomorrow, and the other one's (Robin) mom died. So they are leaving us along for the moment and we are trying to take advantage of the extra time to get our act together. There is a ton of stuff to do. I do not even remember the last vacation we had if ever, we did not even really have a honeymoon except driving across the US and stopping at every weird ass tourist thing there was. But oh well, there willbe time for that later I guess.

Spencer recently read this book that had jellyfish in it, and since then we have been talking and reading a lot of about jellyfish so on Sunday we are gonna head to the Oregon Coast Aquarium

http://www.aquarium.org/

to look at some jellyfish I guess they have a really cool exhibit of them there:

http://www.aquarium.org/exhibitsJellies.asp?sid=2

We will stay only one night and we have to take the dog who is doing MUCH better but still it will be fun. I cannot wait to see Spencer's face when he sees all the jellyfish!! This kids book I read him about the sea is really cool and he has learned so much from it. If you ask him now how a dolphin sees in the dark when he is swimming, he will tell you "Echolocation."

its one of many of these Dr Seuss books that use the the Cat a\in the Hat guy to teach kids stuff like about the human body or animals or dinosaurs or the sea or how to take care of your teeth etc. I am sure they were written long after Dr Seuss died, but Spencer loves them so much so I am glad they exist. They are all in the Cat in the Hat Learning Library and the one we learned about the fish is called Wish for a Fish: http://www.amazon.com/Wish-Fish-About-Creatures-Lrning/dp/0679891161/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203111056&sr=8-1

There are a lot of them and I plan to get out the rest of them from the library soon.

So. I have like 48 books checked out from the library, though a lot of them are cook books and also kids books. I am currently reading Armistead Maupin's first installment of "Tales of the City." So far pretty cheezy. Then I just finished the bio of Laci Peterson that her mom wrote which was kind of sad. I know its stupid to read those true crime books, but I ususally only read ONE of them. I only read TWO OJ books, the Kardashian one and another one by that one guy who looks exactly like my friend Ben Mayer, Jeffrey Toobin. I am also starting the Peter Mayle books, I have two of them out: A year in Provence and Up the Agency. Also I bought Sidney Poitier's bio Measure of a Man for 50 cents at the library but have not read it yet, so that one is waiting for me...

So we have been working on the case, I have been reading, lots of valentines and stuff and that is about it.

my Movie Mood for Thursday

The Universe is Expanding

In Honor of IPLAW... My Movie Mood 4 Wednesday

See if you can guess what I am now.

My Movie Mood Tuesday

Walken steals the movie with this scene in my opinion. Happy Birthday, Abe Lincoln!!!

Love child of Bruce Vilanch and Michael Moore?

Bruce Vilanch

Michael Moore

That would be Bill's new doctor... I imagine he resembles a Muppet, so I will call him Dr. Muppet from now on. Its cool though, because Bill now has a doctor here in town. Amazing, because most of the doctors in Canby are Veterinarians... ALso he is the kind of guy who gives out samples etc.. unlike MY doctor, Dr. Greg Kinnear Lookalike Dude, who never gives me ANY drugs and only keeps doing BLOOD WORK.

Anyway I think Bill was close to getting pneumonia and I got Dr. Muppet's name from Steve, My friend Siri's husband, who goes to him too. Bill and Steve are pretty good friends.

SO Bill went to Dr. Muppet today. I am sure he will be feeling better soon.

I called the reptile lady today and we are booking her to come for the B day party. She is bringing 20 reptiles and a crocodile dressed up in a costume.. a REAL croc in a costume.... Okee Dokee!!!!

Monday Movie Mood: Don't Hassle Me, I'm Local.

Ahoy.

My Movie Mood for Sunday....

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this scene of this movie.