It is NOT JUST ME, OKAY?????

http://www.hulu.com/watch/2340/saturday-night-live-old-glory

" Robots are Everywhere. And they eat old people's medicine for Fuel."

Well, this is NOT GOOD.

These creatures frighten me and this is is simply proof that they are trying to take over the earth. This is NOT good news. Soon they will grow opposable thumbs and start reading the Wall Street Journal. I am very very frightened.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8408233.stm

I mean how long do you think it will be before they come on land and start buying condominiums? I have seen this happen before with Raccoons in Grosse Pointe. I speak from experience here. Raccoons are evil creatures that travel in groups of three. The police are powerless against them. This is a bad ominous sign and I says that we should BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID.

Update: Robots added to list of my fears.

Flying Monkeys, getting strangled by sea creatures in natural bodies of water, insects, clowns, reptiles, snakes, rodents, mold, well water, Monkeys dressed in little outfits, utility companies, terrorism, working at a preschool, pictures of toilets, commercials about toilets or toilet cleaning products, parasites, birds, Octopii, those GIANT worms inside of ears of corn, 4H kids and insurance adjusters. And skunks and ESPECIALLY raccoons. And probably the Snow Queen still. AND ROBOTS.

Yeah, That's right. ANOTHER Dog. You got a problem with that?

Meet Otis. Half Pug, Half French Bulldog. Coming home to us Feb 1.

We are getting another dog. We still have the old one, Amy ( pre named) the Plott hound. She is a GREAT dog but she is not fun at all to take on a walk. If she sees a squirrel, I lose an arm. I am sure that is because we just do not have her trained correctly. Whatever. We have her trained to sleep in a crate, do what we want, and she even RINGS a BELL on the back door when she needs to go out !!! But I cannot train her to NOT be a DOG She is a hunting dog and at the goat Farm she used to routinely come home with dead stuff. GAWD. So she is a great dog but not for walks.


She also liked having a companion. Believe it or not, Murphy really kept her out of trouble. We liked having a second dog and we liked Murphy, but he was not the dog for us. It does seem that YES I may have a problem regarding the Revolving Dog Door... . We have had a few dogs the past few years and a have only kept one really. Well, that is not entirely true: We had Banjo the Black Lab for two years until sh e was hit by a car and killed. We lasted eight days without a dog and then we got Riley named after BB King's Middle name. We had Riley for eight years until he had to "go live with the vet." That's my story and I'm sticking to it. After Riley, we rescued a way too hyper Chocolate Lab we and named him Boogie. I later named my blog after him. However, he ate a screen door and part of a fence, the starter to the lawnmower and two dog beds. He also was a LICKER. That meant any chance he got to lick any part of you he would take it - face, hands, legs, toes .... if you had exposed skin anywhere he would lick it. Endearing at first then Ewwww. He was a nice dog, but too much dog for us.. HOWEVER - we re-homed him and he is happy as a clam these days.

After Boogie came Missy (pre named) an 8 year old beagle that had been somewhat abused by an evil breeder.. She was friendly enough but a complete escape artist.. She woudl take loooong journeys off the goat farm where we were living through pastures and sewage pipes and that was only while she was outside. Indoors she got into Everything and once even ate an entire stick of butter that was left on the table after Thanksgiving dinner. Worst of all she became the ringleader for Amy the dog and would get her to also go on her adventures. Harmless at first. until Amy was struck by car going 50 MPH on the very busy road the goat farm was on. She ended up with a broken hip and was very lucky to have lived through it. I rehomed Missy to a 16 year old girl who now dresses her up in little outfits and allows her to sleep in her bed with her and probably feeds her all of the butter she wants.

After Missy we abandoned the idea of a second dog until after we moved into our replacement house. We made it 10 months in the new house and we were still not really looking, and then we were at the birthday party and those people decided that they wanted to get rid of their Dog DEXTER who did not even like them, and he seemed to bond with us, and also because he was the Untrainable Learning Impaired Canine Antichrist. We renamed him MURPHY after Matt Guitar Murphy. We had him for an entire summer but he was very mischievous, hated all kids and bit Spencer twice. Spencer LOVED him, but Murphy liked NO ONE. The last straw was when he ate Bill's beloved Bluesman hat. OMG. BUH BYE NOW. I had no luck at all training this dog and I said that on Facebook one day. My friend Lisa who is a single attorney in Longview WA decided she could conquer the training of Murphy. She has turned out to be some kind of Dachshund Whiperer and he is great and she is great and they are very happy together and last I heard she is teaching him to SURF - NO KIDDING!

We got kind of used to having two dogs and I miss my walks with Murphy. He was a Fine Walkin' Dawg and He would go just as long as I ever wanted to. SO we found a breeder through my friend Heidi here in Canby. I know, I know!!!!!! We have rescued EVERY OTHER DOG and never bought a true puppy before and I KNOW they are a total pain in the ass and I SHOULD NOT do a breeder and all of that but this person is NOT a Puppy Mill She is a Legitimate breeder who LOVES dogs. We are getting a Half Pug/ Half French Bulldog. We have already bought him but he cannot come home for another 7 weeks. THIS TIME? I let Bill pick him out a litter of 5 puppies. I wanted this Reallllly adorable fawn colored one that looked most like a pug but it did not have a good personality SO we are getting this solid black male and we are going to name him..... Otis. Otis Buddy Chapin . After Otis Redding and Buddy Guy.

Allllllllmost chose this guy. But he was not a good fit for us. Otis bonded with Spencer right away. This guy is better off anyway. I would have named him WOOKIE.

He looks very much like this dog (below) but this is NOT exactly him. This is one of his siblings. More pics to follow. He comes to live with us around Feb 1st. Plenty of time to puppy proof the house.

OTIS BUDDY CHAPIN
Or his brother. I think.

Is it OVER??? Was it just a DREAM?????

Maybe . A 966 day long dream..... Lot of weird things happened in this dream.. My house exploded, and I went to go live first in Occupied France and then later with a goat.

I think the 966 day nightmare might just be coming to a close. This means two things.

One, it is time to get on with our lives and TWO: It is time to start blogging again.

Not that anyone reads this. I mean, Who does? OMG No one really. But to none of those people out there in the blogosphere who were not reading this? Fear not, I may be blogging again soon. I feel like I have been in suspended animation and I just woke up. OMG!!!!! Did you know we elected the first African American president? Did you know that Oprah is Retiring? That they canceled As The World Turns last week?? OMG!!!! So MUCH has happened. I feel I have missed so many important stories on my hiatus OMG Murphy the Dog? He went to go live with a Legal Aid attorney in Washington who is like some kind of freaking BAD DOG WHISPERER. I am currently seeking a new second dog, and considering a Cross between a French Bulldog and a Pug. If only because it brings back all the good times I had during the deposition with opposing counsel. I guess I just want a permanenet reminder of that guy, so I am going to get a dog that looks like him:

And who wouldn't really? Anyway I digress and It will not be official until tomorrow, and I have to go now because Amy the dog just ate like 15 brownies.

More later but for those of you who are not reading this and never were? Welcome back.

My New Dawg: Meet Murphy!

We still have the old one, Amy. Our friends Mari and Tony needed to get rid of their sweet little guy and asked us if we wanted him. We recently went to a birthday party at their house and they were wanting to rehome the dog and actually the dog really sort of BONDED with us!! They said he let us hold him way more than he ever did with them! So a few days later they called and asked us if we wanted another dog. We are trying it out, and if he works out here we will keep him. So far we have renamed him MURPHY. His name WAS Dexter. he is SUPPOSEDLY Half pug half dachsund... but who knows what he really us. He looks like a really tiny sea lion on four teeny legs hahaha.

TWO YEARS AGO TODAY MY HOUSE EXPLODED

I just KNOW an apology is forthcoming. This is my year, I just know it.

Be Thankful For What You've Got.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wpP_JF-OKQ


Just be thankful for what you've got
Though you may not drive a great big Cadillac
Diamond in the back, sunroof top
Diggin' the scene
With a gangsta lean
Gangsta whitewalls
TV antennas in the back

You may not have a car at all
But remember brothers and sisters
You can still stand tall
Just be thankful for what you've got

I CANNOT get this song out of my head.

HELLLLLP.

Feel like this today:

Kinda hung over from the big Halloween Extravaganza and I have to get back on my WW program. I was sort of on it yesterday but I did not write anything down. I have to get going again. Weigh In is Tuesday. DID okay at Halloween stayed largely away from the candy which is good!

Hallo0ween with the Dylan Moms was really fun but crazy. They LOVED my butternut Squash soup!!! The kids were all OFF THE MAP CRAZY Had to peel Spencer off the ceiling at the end of the night but his Fireman costume was a hit.

Sorry I am not blogging as much.

Freddie's Dead. That's what I said.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCbogJVKyo8


Hey, hey
Love, love
Yeah, yeah
Ah, ha
Freddies dead
That's what I said
Let the rap a plan
Said he'd see him home
But his hope was a rope
And he should've known
It's hard to understand
That there's love in this man
I'm sure all would agree
That his misery was his
Woman and things
Now Freddie's dead
That's what I said

Everybody's misused him
Ripped him up and abused him
Another junkie plan
Pushin' dope for the man
A terrible blow
But that's how it goes
A freddies on the corner now
If you wanna be a junkie, wow
Remember freddies dead

We're all built up with progress
But sometimes I must confess
We can deal with rockets and dreams
But reality, what does it mean
Ain't nothing said
'Cause freddies dead

Hey, hey
Love, love
Hey, hey
Yeah, yeah
Ha, ha
Love, love
Yeah, yeah
Ha, ha
Yeah, yeah
Freddies dead

All I want is some peace of mind
With a little love I'm trying to find
This could be such a beautiful world
With a wonderful girl
Why I need a woman child
Don't wanna be like freddie now
'Cause freddies dead
Hey, hey
Yeah, yeah
If you don't try
You're gonna die

Why can't we brothers
Protect one another
No one's serious
And it makes me furious
Don't be misled
Just think of Fred

Everybody's misused him
Ripped him up and abused him
Another junkie plan
Pushin' dope for the man
A freddies on the corner now
If you wanna be a junkie, why
Remember freddies dead
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Freddies dead
Hey, hey
Ha, ha
Love, love
Ha, ha...

SUPERFLY

That's me. Super Fly.

UPDATE: My Fears now include ALL MONKEYS, not just ones that can fly.

I would not say that I am deathly afraid of monkeys, but honestly they do creep me out. I mean, they have like fingers, alright? that is not normal. And then they kind of grab stuff and wear clothing and ride bicycles, What is that about? Its just wrong. Monkeys are bad, even if they cannot fly. Yeah, they do scare me and it takes a confident person to admit that.

I feel much better.

This is just wrong in so many ways.

FIRE FIGHTER SPENCER!!!!!!

Here he is, Firefighter Spencer. I got the coat, hat and Axe at Walgreens and it was all only 10 bucks. I made the boots myself. I added the Dalmation too.

PICTURES!!!

Bill found my Data Cord for my camera, buried in a box in the garage. So, now I can post all the pictures!

Here are the homemade fireman boots I made out of dinosaur boots. Yeah they are covered with black duct tape, but honestly? At night, in the dark, who will know? Later he can wear them as dino boots again.

Here is part of the rest of his costume. Every fireman needs an axe and a hat.

Here are the yellow peppers I got from the corn lady, and a bunch of carrots. All these were steamed and then pureed, and then frozen. They will later be hidden in Spencer's food where he will not know he is eating vegetables. Things like sloppy joes, mac n cheese, muffins and soup.

I really knew we were home when my stained glass thing, which remarkable survived the blast, (well, this one did, the other one blew across two yards...) was re hung in the same spot it had always been in. It actually looks happy to be there!

At our house we like to support young artists... The one on the right I think is from his blue period...

Moscow, we have a problem. You can see from this picture that the big center fixture known as "SPUTNIK" has blue stained glass, and yet the sconces were ordered in yellow. We continue to have problems with this lighting place. I think they may all be smoking stuff in the back or something. I mean, with no one in this city building ANYTHING we are like their ONLY CUSTOMERS, yet they continue to mess everything up.

Have a million pictures to post but I cannot find the datat cord to my camera.

It is not the one to my Black Berry too big. it is in a box somewhere. ARRRGH. Stay Tuned.

Lights, Fights, and Halloween Nights.

Today the lights guy came and installed one set of lights that we are missing Apparently all of them are back ordered. Today the Dining Room Sconces came in, and the guy put them up we turned them on and the shades ( the stained glass part) do NOT match the color of Sputnik. Sputnik is blue these shares are yellow. NICE. SO now back to the drawing board with that. We called the owner of this lighting place and he said he is going to make everything right, but so far I swear this supplier is like the flakiest place I have ever dealt with. They promise to call you back over and over, and I never get calls. I call there and a different person answers the phone each time, and I have to go through it all again with them, and they end up saying that the guy I want to talk to is not there.... I finally talked to that guy today and he said that he would make everything right, and that he would come over and take a picture of the lights that he could send to the manufacturer, so they know and can see how they do not match. He said he would be here in the afternoon and of course, he did not show up and did not call. We still have no lights in the master bath, wrong color lights in the other two baths, and the garage lights are on back order too. We told them we had wanted all the bathrooms to be in a chrome color They ordered us ANTIQUE SILVER which as it turns out, is brown. HOW could they not know this??? These are very very plain fixtures. They can be found in like millions of bathrooms around the world. I wish sometimes we could have just gone to Home Depot and bought all the crap ourselves and had them install it.

I have an entirely new house and these problems are minor but I would like to be DONE DONE DONE with all of these stupid little details I understand no one is building houses right now and these guys are having trouble getting parts. Shipping costs have risen and its prohibitive so they like to pool their orders to get a better deal forcing their customers to wait. However we ordered these lights when, in JULY?????????? It is OCTOBER. Enough already. And because I have had to wait sooo long for everything then I might as well get what we wanted and so NOW I am pissed off and I am just going to INSIST they give us the chrome lights which is the CORRECT color for the bathroom. Its not tragic but the faucets , shelf, TP holder, towel racks, door handles, etc in all of our bathrooms are CHROME..... SHINY CHROME. Is this some weird unusual color that does not exist in plumbing???? I don't think so.... HOW DEMANDING IS IT to insist that the light fixtures are not BROWN???? Its really starting to annoy us. I feel terrible returning anything too because I know this lighting business is suffering, just like all the building people are in town. I also don't want to get the ten year old in China who probably made those fixtures for 14 hours a day to be executed because I returned them because some doofus ordered the wrong color. However, we paid retail for this stuff and after all this time I am now just pissed off. We were initially so happy to be back we were just gonna deal with it but now after this horrible horrible customer service and flakiness I am DONE being tolerant.

Builder Nick is coming to install the new storm door if it EVER arrives to Canby Builder's Supply. It is also on back order. I mean its a Larson, same as we had before and very plain. Its not like some wacky thing... It s just a normal storm door.

Then as soon as and if we EVER do get the garage cleared we can have the coating guy come and do the final coat. Why he could not do it BEFORE WE MOVED IN I don't know.

I just really thought that a month later all this stuff would have been taken care of.

Today I also called the Dylan Moms and invited them and their two kids over for Halloween to go Trick or Treating with us. They don't live in a traditional neighborhood, and Spencer gets along very well with Dylan and his little brother Alex. I love my neighborhood, but there can be a lot of drama and politics and gossip around this street, and I am just done with it. I would rather this year we do our own Halloween thing. Spencer will have a ton of fun with those kids and I love the moms.. I even invited the Grandma over, since Grandmas seem to like Halloween too. I don't want her sitting home alone...

I usually stay in and give out the candy because I like to see what all the kids are wearing. I love the Trick or Treaters. Bill ususally takes Spencer and goes witht he neighborhood group. This year we can go with them also but he will mostly go with the Dylan Moms and our kids. I will put out little halloween themeed things to snack on before they go, bnut not a huge deal, just little things in case they are hungry because all kids are just hyper on Halloween.. A LOT of people miss dinner... Then after they get back we can have cider. I think it will be fun.

Today I ran around like a maniac.... Firepersons....

Meet Spencer's dinosaur boots.
Somehow these have to turn into Fireman Boots by Halloween.



However I do have an advantage when it comes to a reference for the authenticity of Spencer's costume this year.... I have no shortage of pictures of fire personnel.....

Good times.....
One of these guys actually flew 15 feet in the air and landed on the windshield of my minvan.

This morning Bill worked at preschool and Spencer went as usual. I went all over Canby looking for Fireman boots.
No, I am not enlisting or whatever. Spencer wants to be a fireman for Halloween this year. We have the hat the fake axe, and we are borrowing the raincoat thing from Teacher Gina's dress up collection. All we need are the pants (sweats) and the boots.

Well I tried Fred Meyer and of course the only boots they have are these goofy ones for kids.. and he already has one pair of those, but he has outgrown them. They were on sale so I bought a pair of them, but they are like dinosaur boots. SO I mean they are the base of the boots and then I have to fix them to look like fireman boots.

I then looked for some black painter or duct tape to use to turn them temporarily black. Fun. So I went ALLLLL over Fred Meyer looking for that. Then, I needed glow in the dark tape. or orange or something. I found it and got that. I also went to Ace Hardware thinking that they would have better prices on the tape and stuff but they did not. I did get a roil of orange tape there and I thought it would look great on the boots and it would have I even had the Ace guy help me find it. Only problem was, I got it home and it was tape, yes but NOT STICKY!!!!!! HELLO?"????? I mean I TOLD HIM what I needed it for.. DUH. And I cannot return it, because I opened it.

That is one of the FEW THINGS I miss about California In San Jose they had this AMAZING INCREDIBLE store called OSH Orchard Supply Hardware. You could find EVERYTHING there and the staff was not brain dead.

I miss OSH. But also some restaurants... Una Mas, and Mandarin Gourmet Chinese and Giorgio's

Then when I got home, who was waiting for me??? AMY THE DAWG!!! I left her in the house, and not only did she escape the house, she also escaped the back yard as well. She was siting on the porch as I drove up. I am sure everyone loved that.... I did not want to take her with me though because Bill took the Toyota to preschool and I had the van and when she is in the van Bill has all kinds of guitar crap in there and she likes to chew it up so I left her. What a brat.

I thought I could relax somehow in the afternoon, but then We all went to Accountant Dave's house in Beaverton to work on Tax Stuff. Excitement. Then we had to go to Saul the Luthier's house for something, and then on to Trader Joe's since we were in the neighborhood, to get more sauce to make Indian food. By the time we got home I was exhausted and I still had to figure out Fireman boots. Bill just made dinner for us which was nice of him. He loves to cook and he is way better at it than I will ever be.

But at least the chalkboard wall is done, and we can use it on Thursday. Also, I am out of apples, thank GAWD. Also, I found my camera my good Camera but the battery is dead but i will get another one and then I can post better pics. I will post a pic of the boots I did. They really do look like fireman boots!

APPLED OUT

Yeah, I had about three less apples than this pile here...
The Corn Lady had better start sleeping with the lights on....

Ina Garten, AKA "The Barefoot Contessa:" She is just Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

I cannot even LOOK AT another apple.

This morning I woke up and made Applesauce Bread with the homemade applesauce I had made days earlier that my family did NOT eat. The recipe was from Paula Deen, and I did not think it was that great. I would not make it again.

Then I made Butternut Squash soup which was very good and it had apples in it. I added not only the Butternut squash puree to it, but also some roasted carrots pureed, garlic and some roasted apples. it was pretty great and I had ton left over. I gave Spencer some and he ate most of it, which was good because it was pretty healthy and nutrient rich, and then I froze the rest.
That recipe was from Sara Moulton here it is... I like her a lot... She used to have a show on the Food Network called Sara's Secrets.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/sara-moulton/butternut-squash-soup-recipe/index.html
She has a newer show on PBS called something like weekday meals or something like this...

Then we went to Fir Point Farms to get another gallon of apple cider. Then to Fred Meyer.

Then I made the apple pear cranberry crisp from the Ina recipe. Honestly I used the wrong sized pan. It called for a 9 x 12 I had a 9x 13 but it seemed too shallow for a crisp, so I used an oval baking dish.

Big mistake. I mean it was okay it was good but there was WAYYY too much topping and some of the apples were less cooked than others. ANd it was SOOOO huge. We each had a serving, and honestly Bill had three.... he loved it but I actually took the rest over to my next door neighbors Joel and Rebecca. They have four kids and are really nice people and always receptive to my hideous experimental cooking. Event they could not eat it all Bill liked it so he kept the rest but I cannot look at it. I hate apples now... And I love Ina Garten, and I will always still watch The Barefoot Contessa, but I am convinced she is crazy.

My soup turned out great though and the purees are working out! Spencer likes Sloppy Joes and we had them for dinner, but what he did not know was there there was a cup of carrot puree in there, and some corn and garlic. I mean, he WILL eat carrots, but its a struggle. I have to tell him that they are "magic carrots" grown especially for swimmers, to make them strong.

This way I don't have to make up stupid stories...

Also I put the final coat on the chalkboard Wall tonight, and it will be dry by about Wed Night I guess, and then we can use it. Takes Three days to dry and cure.

Then I cleaned the entire kitchen, washed every dish, and made all of Spencer's lunches for the week at preschool.

OH and for those of you playing at home, Bill found my wallet.

Tomorrow I have to start figuring out Spencer's Halloween Costume. He wants to be a Fireman. Teacher Gina is going to lend us the raincoat, and we have the hat and fake Axe. He needs pants, boots and some reflective tape to make like those lines on their outfits...
ALso across the street is Steve the Cop and I am going to ask him for one of those fake badge stickers he gives out to kids.

But for now I am gonna wash the apples out of my hair, put away my peeler and go watch Entourage.

Chalk Day.... but not Inside..... OUTSIDE!!!! More Apples, Groupies

Here is the town with all of the little cars on it.

I am thinking this might be the Mall?

Spencer's friend Tyler, his sister Allie, Spencer's other friend Austin and Spencer all were on our driveway today drawing with sidewalk chalk. They made like a little town, and then they took all of Spencer's little cars and stuff and drive them all over it. It was pretty fun and I was JUST AMAZED that they all got along so well for so long and no fights, no drama. In the middle of it, two of The Groupies showed up for about an hour and told me all about their Halloween costumes. The other two Groupies were at a gymnastics meet.

This morning I got up and baked two apple, pear and cranberry Crostatas. One was for Tyler and and Allie's mom who just had minor surgery. I wanted to cheer her up by giving her something nice, but instead I gave her the crostata which turned out to be the oddest pastry ever. The fruit inside was crunchy still ( be cause the recipe was for peaches and plums not apples and pears..opps! ) and the crust was good but it was all just very very odd.
Anyway. We each had one piece of the one I made for us. Also weird. BUT the crust WAS excellent and I will post the recipe for it here.

Here is a link to the recipe. This is for the apple pie, but scroll down and you will see the "Perfect Pie Crust recipe at the bottom it is awesome. Bill even LOVED the crust today I made for the crostata, and he hates just about everything I make...
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/deep-dish-apple-pie-recipe/index.html

Sometimes life is like this: you work really hard at something and peel apples for two hours and spill sugar on the floor and it ends up everywhere including in your shoes and yet the thing still turns out weird. But I gave it 100% effort.

Tonight we went to Office Depot to get some chalk for the new chalkboard, even though we cannot write on it until Tuesday. I learned that you cannot use sidewalk chalk on chalkboard for some reason, which is a drag because we must have a thousand pieces of sidewalk chalk.

Also, for those of you playing along at home, I did find my wallet today which had been missing for about ten days. It was rather embarassing because I had to call Costco, Fred Meyer, Safeway, and Quiznos all to ask them if anyone had turned in a wallet with BOB THE BUILDER on it. .... Turns out it was in the livingroom closet UNDERNEATH like the vaccuum cleaner and the broom and tons of crap and no one knows how it got there.... I mean I have never even been in that closet. I don't even know what was kept in there. We think maybe it had a little "help" getting in there.

Tomorrow I will make the apple crisp, also have some more purees to do, and also make Spencer's lunches for next week. And figure out what to do with all the applesauce I made that no one liked. maybe muffins?