Got a lot of stuff done, and also: Exciting News!! I FOUND the WEIRD LAMP!!!!

Today I went to the movies with my friend Siri. We saw LIONS for LAMBS Clearly a message movie b ut still interesting. To me, Meryl Streep will NEVER age, though she was never ever more gorgeous than while in Manhattan, Out of Africa, and Sophie's Choice. Even all of that Auschwitz make-up could not hide her beauty.

We also watched some of our Netflix movies the weekend, including, REIGN OVER ME and YEAR OF THE DOG. The first I liked and it was weird but good. YEAR OF THE DOG I thought I would like but did not. Bill is actually watching The Departed right now. It seems very very violent. I do not like scary or horror or very violent movies. Some I will watch. you know like Saving Private Ryan... i watched that but I had to do it over a couple of days..It was horrific. But this seems very violent and I think life is scary enough.

Then tonight I baked some Pumkin-Cranberry-Walnut bread - three loaves. Some to give away and some to keep and freeze. I found the recipe on www.Epicurious.com which is a great site. I am bringing some to Matt's house tomorrow AM because his wife just had shoulder surgery. I will be working M-F for a while now and no more Saturdays.

BUT the most exciting thing that happened this weekend was this: I FOUND THE LAMP!!!!!

My entire life we had this lamp in our house. When I moved, I took it with me. All I knew about it was that it was an antique, and that my mother bought it in Italy in 1956.
It hung in our family room and it was absolutely indescribable.

Well when I sold that house I took it with me. I was going to hang it in our PERMANENT house, if we ever had one. We moved a LOT before we got to Oregon, and honestly we packed it up and kept it safe through like 7 moves.

Then when we got to Oregon, it took us like a year just to unpack all of our crap. Then we were going to remodel the house etc. I was always going to hang it somewhere in the house, but I was going to wait until we were done remodeling. That thing was packed to the max with all kinds of bubble wrap and peanuts and all of that stuff. IT was just DAYS away from getting hung in the house, because we were ALLLLLMOST done witht he remodel, but then the EXPLOSION happened. the lamp did not survive and not only was it BROKEN it was burned, crushed, you name it UNRECOGNIZABLE except for the weird frame thing. I was crushed when I saw that we had last it, but whatever.


In order to claim this lampto the insurance co, I had to find it on the internet and I had been searching for weeks about it. THIS WEEKEND I FINALLY found it at an antique store in the Bridgehampton, NY.

it was made by a company called VENINI in 1940, and it could have been worth quite a bit, considering that other much smaller (this one is about 14 inch tall and 9 in wide.and younger pieces from this company that I found are worth like three thousand at least. SO who knows. This photo is exactly my lamp, but mine had amber glass and it was not opaque. Otherwise, this is the exact lamp, in all of its glorious weirdness. So at least I got THIS accomplished this weekend. I found my hideous weird lamp.

Have a big list of crap to do today and the rest of the weekend, but I probably will not get to all of it.

First of all, newsflash the dog is out of surgery and she is fine, she just has to wear the conehead thing for a couple of weeks, and that should be fun. I swear Bill loves that stupid dog so much, he is probably on the internet right now looking for a dog acupunturist that makes house calls or some crap. He is probably on www.organic-nutraceuticals-for-optimum-canine-health.com right now...

I guess we are busy doing what we feel like doing, which is the point of holidays. Spencer is watching this kids show about these weird but friendly neon SLOTHS called "Its a Big Big World" and BOB THE BUILDER episodes that I TIVO'd for him.

I have to send some stuff out, write my annual Christmas letter, mail three of the netflix, sign something and take it to RJ's office, get the turkey off the bone, fill out more sheets of claim forms, sign something else and get it to Herb, the new lawyer who is the ROBIN to Joel's BATMAN, Hopefully get all my Christmas cards out, stuff like this I guess. I have no real plans, except for on Sunday my friend Siri and her husband and son Steve and Travis are coming over. Steve and Bill and Travis and Spencer are gonna hang together here on the goat farm and find stuff to do while Siri and I go to a movie. We think we are going to see one of a couple ones. Maybe LAMBS FOR LIONS or DAN IN REAL LIFE or who knows there are tons of movies playing.

I have tons of laundry to finish and a lot of other crap, not to mention we now have to keep one dog still and quiet and keep the other dog from jumping on her. That should be fun. I also might order a new winter jacket, since I lost weight and my old one is hanging on me really a lot. I have been wearing it sort of as a monument to losing weight but then I got the hint that MAYBE I need a new coat when I was in Starbuck's the other day getting a present for Matt's wife who had surgery, and they were looking at me like I was homeless or something, and like i was about to steal things. I was like "I know I LOOK homeless, but honestly Its just that my house blew up and we had to move again, for the third time in 6 months, and I cannot find half my clothes, I have a toddler who not only got his catsup (ketchup?) all over me but who also keeps me so busy I do not have time to comb my hair even, oh, and my 7 year old coat is like four sizes too big but I am happy about it so I wear it....but seriously? I do not, as of YET, live in a van down by the river....but I am sure if Canby Telephone had its way.......well, never mind..."

Yeah, I'm a dork.

OH and IPLAW - I FINALLY found some of that MOONSTRUCK chocolate at Whole Foods. Apparently it is so exclusive they do not sell it in the Portland Metro area South of the I-205. But then., who can blame them? Everyone knows the riff raff live in Wilsonville... hahahah
I was going to get some earlier as a gift to Joel, but I could never find any and it seemed silly to order it online. I looked and looked for it at Lamb's where they said they carried it in Wilsonville and they never had any. It did show up in one of the Christmas catalogues, though, called RED ENVELOPE.


Oh and one more thing... I love AL Gore - in fact, prior to the current administration, he was one of only two Dems I ever voted for in my entire life. BUT as fascinating as it is, I have never stayed awake through his movie An Inconvenient Truth. I get the importance and I WISH I could say I have seen it but I CANNOT STAY AWAKE during it. Not so far, at least.


SO what are all of you doing this weekend??? All NONE of you who are reading this? hahaha

A Good Time Was Had By All, except the dog.

Well the Whole Foods Thanksgiving dinner was pretty great. Much better than I could have done. However it was not as great as I remember it being last year.. but anyway..
TO be honest the Organic Preroasted Diestel turkey was INCREDIBLE , probably the best turkey we have ever had in our lives. Realllllly great. The gravy was just OKAY, the stuffing was just OKAY, the pumpkin pie was JUST OKAY, same with the brussel sprouts, the dinner rolls and cranberry sauce. I actually made my own cranberry sauce with oranges and toasted walnuts. The mashed potatoes were pretty good, and the sweet potatoes with apricot glaze were really really good.

SO what I am thinking is, maybe NEXT YEAR we buy the turkey there, and the sweet potatoes and maybe nothing else. I can make better stuffing, probably can get better gravy and other stuff.
We dont even like pumpkin pie that much. We did also get two small other desserts, a teeny pecan pie and a teeny Cranberry walnut tart.

THe pecan pie was great and we should have bought a whole one but them who needs that much delicious pecan pie around the house? So we got a small one that was the equivalent of about a slice and a half. HOWEVER Bill and I got a few bites and we left it on the table. I took a few bites of the cranberry walnut tart and that was awful and I threw it away. THe dogs got up around the table after dinner and got into stuff even though we had put almost everything away. Missy ate the rest of the pecan pie and half a stick of butter. Amy ate some dill dip. Stupid dogs.

SO I think next year I will make the sides and get the WF turkey. I could not be bothered doing that this year because honestly we had just moved to the goat farm and its not exactly a gourmet kitchen. Its pretty hideous, and not anything like the expansive granite clad gourmet kitchen at the Faux Chateau, which is the only thing I miss about that place.... Well I miss that AND the shower and the non egg smelling water, and lost of other stuff. SO I was not inspired to cook and then have to throw my dishes into the BROWN COATED dishwasher YUCK.

With any luck, Next year I will be in my own gourmet kitchen in my new house, all decked out in artisan tiles by Habib, and I can rock out a killer Thanksgiving. This year I am kind of sliding by.

SO then after we cleaned up dinner and took naps and stuff and put Spencer to bed, then Bill let the two dogs out once more before bed time. Then THE INCIDENT occurred, and I am not sure what happened.

IT all started this morning, when Missy the freak dog Beagle who has been a total escape artist lately, took off to the dairy farm across the street early this AM and Bill had to chase her like a mile thru cow fields, past a llama, an ostrich and a horse also. She ran almost to the Alpaca farm!!!! SO tonight, Bill put her on the tie out leash this time, and it was attached to a stake in the ground. they were over in the big field near the second barn. Well she was running all over and Amy the dog got caught up in the leash and somehow the top part of the stake caught on what would be the dog equivalent of her elbow I guess and her dog elbow got all messed up and a big cut happened.

SO at 9:00 pm we got Spencer up in his jammies, threw him in the van along with the dog and headed to the Emergency Vet. SHe needs stitches and they kept her overnight and we will get her in the AM. She is gonna be fine but out of commission for a few weeks. There were a couple of families there too with their injured pets, and a lot of the kids were also in their jammies. I guess no one expects to go to the vet on Thanksgiving. I managed to get Spencer totally dressed but forgot his shoes as we were running out the door. SO there you go. He had his outfit, his coat, his blankie and bare feet. I carried him into the vet though.

Amy the dog is gonna be fine. SO far Missy is not sick from all of the butter she ate.

yet another crazy holiday with the Chapin Family, but at the end of the day, I still would not want to be anywhere else. I got the entire week off my work, so that was great but I have to spend it filling out claim forms. But we are almost done with all of that crap. We are amining to get the house torn down and construction started by Christmas. We have pretty much picked the builder.

Well I have to get some sleep so I can pick up Amy the WOnder Dog in the AM.

HAPPY THANKS GIVING!!!!!!

I am very very thankful for many many things. I have a great husband, a beautiful son, two great dogs, incredible friends, great bloggers, and so much to look forward to. I complain a lot but I have no right to. I do not even give a crap about the house right now. OR the letters that we keep getting from the city of Canby telling us we need to tear the house down.

Tomorrow we are going to get up early and drive to the Pearl District and pick up our totally cooked organic turkey dinner from Whole Foods. The only thing I am cooking is the cranberry sauce. I was going to make pumpkin bread but get this, I went to the store tonight and they ran out of canned pumpkin.

What are you all thankful for?

THANKSGIVING MASTER THESPIAN - ITS EARLY!!!!!

Since many of my fans ( ha ha) will be over the river and through the woods on the actual day that we usually do Master Thespian I am doing it early this week.

SO In honor of his big ongoing fued with FABIO the first actor I have chosen is none other than

GEORGE CLOONEY the total hunk of all time!!!!

SO you can find all the info on George HERE:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000123/


Then for the actress:

I have chosen another one of my favorites:

MERYL STREEP:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000658/

These two people are not only probably the best looking actors I have ever seen on a screen, but also the most talented. SO these are my fav moments from some of their movies.

FOR GEORGE:

from Ocean's Eleven

Rusty: You'd need at least a dozen guys doing a combination of cons.
Danny: Like what, do you think?
Rusty: Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever!


Tess: You're a thief and a liar.
Danny: I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore






FOR MERYL:

from The Devil Wears Prada:

Miranda Priestly: Is there some reason that my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?

from One True Thing:

Kate Gulden: It's so much easier to be happy. It's so much easier to choose to love the things that you have, instead of always yearning for what you're missing, or what it is that you're imagining you're missing. It is so much more peaceful.

from Postcards from the Edge:

Doris: I was such an awful mother... what if you had a mother like Joan Crawford or Lana Turner?
Suzanne: These are the options? You, Joan or Lana?


from Out of Africa:

Karen Blixen: Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road.



OKAY SO NOT IT IS YOUR TURN!!!!! AND DO NOT wimp out just because it is Turkey Day or you need to go SHOPPING...

PICTURE OF UNNAMED DOG

THIS DOG NEEDS A NAME.
CAN YOU FIND IT YOUR HEARTS TO HELP?????

EVERYBODY SAMBA!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjGMTE60D1g&feature=related


Extra special video for all of you I cfoulod not figure out how to post this onto my blog directly

Oh and that is Bill in the background. Playing the cowbell. The man has some MOVES.

UH OH...... NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071118/NEWS01/71118025/1001/NEWS

Apparently Detroit is the Most Dangerous city again. To be honest I have not lived there for ten years. but i hate to hear this about my home town. But. then. Its not totally unbelievable to me. Detroit you could say they really INVENTED crime you know? Or Reinvented it. Young Boys, Inc, Coleman Young, Barbara Rose Collins, The Detroit School Board with their Limos, people dropping cinder blocks off of freeway overpasses and killing people. Ed Mcnamara. I do believe the first CARJACKING took place there. Tonya Harding whacking Nancy Kerrigan.... Its a long proud heritage. The economy is tanked there and has been for a long time..

So You know. Whatever..... Those other cities should feel lucky to even make the list.

GREAT house for rent in Wilsonville, OR

Why, its almost like, uh uh a FAUX CHATEAU.

http://portland.craigslist.org/clc/apa/481219160.html

There are a few pieces of info missing from this ad, however... Crazy toxic old ladies might peek thru your windows, oh and try not to talk on the phone too loudly outside on Saturday afternoon, OR please do not leave your garage door open any longer than it takes to pull your car. ANd I hope you do not plan to put BOTH of your cars into the garage. OH and I hope you do not have any kids. Also do not put your garbage out too early, and try not to mess up the WHITE CARPETING that covers almost every room. Any or all of these violations could result in a call to the homeowner's association, or maybe the police.

I hope whoever moves in has OCD, no kids, a quiet voice, one car and a great attorney on retainer.

LOOK!!!

Overfunded Public School Forced To Add Jazz Band

MANALAPAN, NJ—Benjamin Harrison Middle School faculty members regretfully announced Tuesday that, despite their best efforts to prevent it,...

Blues Haikus

tydwbleach said...

We now live on goat
farm. More serene than Fake France.
Almost too serene.

Well water is quite
interesting. Chock full of
minerals I guess.

The house is kooky
but its not forever so
kooky is okay.

In Laws here for two
weeks. Spencer loves them
so much. We all do.

Much to do for the
legal case. Learning a lot.
Mediation soon.

11:23 AM

tydwbleach said...

P.S.:

Bill got new alarm.
Plays cds. Woke to Muddy
Waters "I'm a man."

Yesterday woke to
John Lee Hooker's "Mama Talk
to your Daughter ." ARRRGH!

I 've got the Blues, day
and night. Hear it in my sleep.
Literally. BLECCCH.

Have theory about
the Blues. Sad Music, bad to
dance to. Girls hate this.

That's why Bluesmen are
so sad. They're lonely. THEY SHOULD
sing HAPPIER songs.

Happy songs make girls
want to dance, come to gigs, and
DATE the bluesmen, see?

Bill does not accept
this theory. Says I do not
know 'bout anything.

Says he will get huge
bloodhound, and name it "Bootsie
Collins." Now I'm blue.

WE stioll have no internet at the house,

But we are working on it.

We just misplaced some box or modem or router or internet thingy and its in the exploded house and Bill is gonna go get it today he thinks.

Tomorrow at 2:30 PM we have a meeting with The Justice League at the Hall of Justice ( with Joel and another lawyer, at Joel's office)

I know Spencer is always welcome at the meeting but I am hoping that Bill's parents can babysit him so that we will not have to bring him. He is a pain at Joel's office.

WE are going to see if it is worth pursuing the Wilsonville Fascists, and also talk to Joel about other house stuff.

I am at work, and I cannot really do MASTAH THESPIAN until I am at home and I will not have internet until Bill finds that box thingy. But he should find it soon OR at least get a replacement soon.

Yesterday we had our conference with Tammy Faye at Preschool. We learned NOTHING. She did not even have the stuff with her, and she had forgotten about the meeting ALso she was anxious to hurry it along, and all she told us is NOT to worry, Spencer is fine, he is very smart, he is socially and emotionally a little behind, but he is still young, but he is great and his table manners are improving. He should take Swimming lessons this winter. He is very good with 3D things - like not drawing, but like building things - and she also thinks he has an aptitude for math.

I'll bet if we put Spencer on the case we would get the house built faster than what we are accomplishing now. However, what kind of house would Spencer build for us?

I suspect it would look a lot like Winnie The Pooh's house, with a big garage to house Scoop, Dig, Wendy, Roll-ey, Muck, Spud, Travis, Pilchard and Bird, and all of the other people on BOB THE BUILDER.

So maybe we should just let Drunk Guy build it. Remember Drunk Guy? He is the guy who built the house originally, and he showed up to the walk through with a case of beer. Then he opened it and started drinking, at 3:00 PM. Then he suggested we commit insurance fraud, by renting one of his duplexes and he would charge them extra rent and split the difference with us. Drunk Guy lives in a house the size of Montana, but apparently he needs an extra $250 a month from State Farm to make ends meet. We kept asking him what was his price to build the house and he kept asking us back, "What would you like the price to be?"


WE turned him down on the beer, the insurance kickback and then went home and bathed in Listerine until morning.

Moved to Goatless Goat Farm

No internet until Monday. But we still have it at the old house and we are here until the 10th. . I Will check in and post each time we are at the new house have to go pick up Bill's parents at the airpoprt now. GINGER PASSED THE BAR!!! AWESOME!!!!! WAY TO GO GINGER!!!!!

see you all later

What I did on Halloween...I hung with BOB.

I worked,until 1 and then I came home and called utility companies and arranged all of that crap At 3:30 we picked up Spencer from Preschool and then we went to the store for some last minute items for Halloween. Then we came home, ate dinner, and then got Spencer ready in his costume. On the way to the party he fell asleep in the back of the van hahaha but then Bob the Builder woke up and went out trick or treating. I gave out candy while Morman Dave and his family and Bill and Spencer and a few other kids went out around the neighborhood. I always stay to give out the candy I love seeing the kiddies in their little costumes. THen I saw the kids who are my co workers...The Merediths - who are Matt's kids, and they have been talking for WEEKS and weeks about their costumes etc. and when they came to Dave's house I asked them all what they were. Naked Nate comes into my office EVERY DAY and tells me that for Halloween he was going to be CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW so when I saw him tonight I asked him about 30 guesses as to what his costume was hahahaha He finally said I AM CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW hahahah Poor Nate. He's only two I should not pick on him but he was sooo sweet.

I love those kids they are so crazy. Then I guess Spencer went to Matt's house and when he came to the door they were like ITS BOB!!! BOB THE BUILDER!!! and SPencer just was SO excited. hahah He got a pumpkin container full of candy, and he was SOOO happy and proud of himself. He had a blast with Morman Dave's kids, esp his little buddy Austin who was Spiderman.

AND THEN we came back to Morman Dave's for hot cider and cookies. We had a great time!!! AND THEN, we drove out to the goat yard to sign the lease and go over stuff with the guy, who is SO SO nice and mellow. He is leaving us (to use) his washer dryer, his riding mower, all this stuff that he does not feel like moving and that we could use. He appreciates not having to move it and we appreciate the use of it. He did take the goat, but he said we could get one of our own for 10 months, and then he said we could take it to his parents when we are done with it.

Bill's parents are coming on Friday and staying for two weeks. They are going to help with the move and also watch Spencer while we move stuff etc. They love Spencer so much, and he is crazy about them. So that should be fun. I am a LITTLE worried that hte house is on a fairly busy road, but we are going to keep Spencer mostly in the BACK YARD and also put up some safety stuff.

The house is kooky but its cool It has well water and a wood buring fireplace in the kitchen, and all this land its really cool I will not miss the icemaker and the squirty thing on the sink. SO we move tomorrow. I am NOT SURE when I will have the internet back - it might not be til FRIDY BUT I will write as soon as I can, and then if I have to postpost Master Thespian we will do it ASAP/

SO HOW DID everyone's halloween turn out???!

Grey Gardens

THis is Little Edie explaining one of her crazy outfits.

Cool new blog - GREY GARDENS NEWS

Revently I discovered the movie Grey Gardens. it is now a musical on broadway but it was a Cinema Verite type documentary in the mid 1970s. If you have never seen it or heard about it, it is about a mother and daughter who lived in the Hamptons. The mother was known as Big Edie Beale, and she was the sister of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis' father. Her daughter was Little Edie Beale. Together they lived in complete squalor in this mansion called Grey Gardens one block from the ocean in the Hamptons. They lived there with 52 cats, a bunch of raccoons in a big old house that was falling apart around them.

In other words, this would have been my life (sort of) had I stayed in GP with my mother and I had not met and married Bill. We seriouly did have the raccoons, the cats and the falling apart house. My mother was also very much like Big Edie, in that in her eyes, my purpose in life was to keep her company, and also in many other ways.

However, I somehow escaped, barely. Poor Little Edie did not. Anyway it is a interesting if not bizarre movie. The whole BEALE saga is in vogue again, and there is a lot of interest in the movie and these two women, though both are long dead.

This one guy has a blog about it. http://greygardensnews.blogspot.com/

Who is this? Your dealer??

Old Glory Insurance.. For when The Metal Ones come for you

Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.

I got a fever. And the only cure is... more cowbell......

Two Green Acres is (are?) the place for me!

Its official, We signed the lease today, and on November 1 we will be moving to the GoatYard. I cannot wait to meet Mr. Haney., Mr. Drucker and Arnold Ziffle!!!

Our Landlord, Lt. Major Douchebag, will not let us exit the lease ten days early, but that is OK.

He can KISS MY GRITS!

BUH BYE Fascist France, and the Butler's pantry (along with psycho neighbors)!

HELLO, 1972. Its okay. I grew up in the 70s. I don't have any hang ups about it, man. Hang Ups are just not my bag. I can Keep on Truckin for the next ten months.

Plus there's a GOAT!!!!!! COOL!!!!! Uh I mean,. Far Out.