Love child of Bruce Vilanch and Michael Moore?

Bruce Vilanch

Michael Moore

That would be Bill's new doctor... I imagine he resembles a Muppet, so I will call him Dr. Muppet from now on. Its cool though, because Bill now has a doctor here in town. Amazing, because most of the doctors in Canby are Veterinarians... ALso he is the kind of guy who gives out samples etc.. unlike MY doctor, Dr. Greg Kinnear Lookalike Dude, who never gives me ANY drugs and only keeps doing BLOOD WORK.

Anyway I think Bill was close to getting pneumonia and I got Dr. Muppet's name from Steve, My friend Siri's husband, who goes to him too. Bill and Steve are pretty good friends.

SO Bill went to Dr. Muppet today. I am sure he will be feeling better soon.

I called the reptile lady today and we are booking her to come for the B day party. She is bringing 20 reptiles and a crocodile dressed up in a costume.. a REAL croc in a costume.... Okee Dokee!!!!

Monday Movie Mood: Don't Hassle Me, I'm Local.

Ahoy.

My Movie Mood for Sunday....

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this scene of this movie.

Does it place itself into the Dishwasher when it finishes cooking your Coq AuVin????

Benefits Associated With The Weight Of Le Creuset

• Distributes the heat more evenly.
• Ensures moisture and flavors are sealed in by heavy, tight fitting lids.
• Increases pan's longevity by preventing warping or burning.
• Retains heat longer, which keeps food hot when serving.
• Is lined with Plutonium
• Pan plays soothing Beethoven which braising your beef
• Comes with a lifetime membership to the Maidstone Club in Easthampton so you can hang with Ina
  
• Act now to receive our rare Columbian emerald encrusted meat thermometer: a $24,999.00 Value!
  

My husband likes to cook, In fact he does most of the cooking in our house I do only my hideous experimental cooking However I do have a specialty and that is the crock pot cooking. I also make GREAT soup. I mean that soup is GREAT I had only made about 400 gallons of it RIGHT before the house exploded and it was all stored in the freezer, which I think a firefighter landed on top of. Our neighbors saved the freezer for us but the soup had to all be thrown away.

Growing up my mother was sort of a vicarious thrill kind of chef.... she would READ cookbooks a lot, and CLIP A TON of recipes particularly form the New Your Times Magazine section every Sunday. In fact, she clipped so many that I found like 7 binders full of clipped recipes and some were from like 1971. I found recipes for black and white food that were from Truman Capote's Black and White ball in 1962. or 66? I dunno ANYWAY. My mother was LITERALLY reading a cookbook on her deathbed.. I mean, like the DAY she died the last book she had read was literally a cook book. I think it was all about having a TAPAS party.... Honestly, I inherited about 200 cookbooks, and I still have them all and yet I still also obsessively rent cookbooks from the library as well.

SO she would also buy a lot of specialty cooking equipment in the hopes that one day she might use it but never ever did. Thus, I also inherited things like springform pans, Madeleine molds, canape cutters, butter molds, puff pastry cutters that make the puff pastry into shells or fish dishes to hold the lobster salad... melon ballers, odd knives and spoons and tongs, demitasse cups, espresso cups, Pots de Creme cups, mini ramekins, you name it, if it was weird, it was in our house. Unfortunately she rarely cooked, and most nights made frozen stuff.

However she did have these weird pans I hated. She was quite proud of her set of Le Creuset cookware - which was in the color BLEU. I only know that when I wanted to scramble some eggs or make a grilled cheese that the saute pan weighed about 34 pounds and was a pain to wash. When I would go to other people's houses I would notice that they had NORMAL stainless steel or whatever cookware, with the copper on the bottom maybe. Did we have any of that? Nope. So non of my friends were risking life and limb pouring the pasta into the colander when it had been cooked in a pan that filled with water weighed about 87 pounds. I reallllly thought my mother was insane and I VOWED NEVER to have those stupid pans in my house when I grew up.

However, since like her, I make a LOT of SOUP like all the time, My regular stock pots are okay but I would prefer a Le Creuset round Dutch Oven like my mother had. I got a set of All Clad for our wedding, but a lot of it has been ruined by burning... sometimes Bill's fault, sometimes mine... and my stock pot is only 6 qts.

SO the other day I went online looking for a Dutch Oven like my mom had. I was thinking maybe a nine quart. I found one. Price? $289.00 ON SALE.

Tell me WHY does this stupid pan cost this much????? The All Clad is the same price, but for my soup I would prefer to have one that cannot be killed by conventional weapons. America's Test Kitchen is this amazing cooking show that also rates equipment. They tested tons of Dutch Ovens. Usually they sort of like to prove that you don't have to spend a million dollars on a chef knife or a grill pan to be a good cook, but in this case? Their panel chose only three.... What do you think those were?

All Clad,
Le Creuset and
Mario Batali.

I looked at Mario's His was the bargain one at ONLY $100.00 and it seems nice but he only makes a 6 qt.
I already have a 6 qt All Clad.
So what does that leave?????
Second verse, same as the first!

Luckily I live down I -5 from the Woodburn Company Stores - which is an Outlet Mall (where the prices seem not that much better than the normal overpriced pretentious mall, Bridgeport Village -home of the Beautiful People, which is just NORTH on I-5.....) but they do have great stores... Columbia, Nike, Gap, Harry & David, and ALSO.....get this, has a Le Creuset OUTLET!!!!! AND I see they are having a sale in the middle of Feb so I will go to that and hope for the best... But I will NEVER NEVER EVER understand why the hell this pan has to cost three hundred dollars?????? It is lined with Plutonium? I mean what the hell is that about anyway????

Gordeeva and Grinkov 1994 Olympics Long Program

This is the best Pairs Long program I have ever ever ever witnessed. The Long program at the 1994 Olympics which won the Gold,(their second gold) by married Russian Pair skaters Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov. He later died of a heart attack after months of weird symptoms that no one caught. She became a solo skater a very successful one and then later married Ilia Kulik, the gold medalist Men's from the Nagano Olympics. She had a daughter with Sergei, Daria, and later,another daughter with Ilia Kulik, named Elizabeth.

My Movie Mood for Saturday

I put some hints in the comments of the Mastah Thespian thing.

Also this is my Movie Mood for Saturday AND

Notice it is one of the trivia questions.

My Movie Mood Today: Its FRIDAY!!!!

John Travolta - these days - let's face it... He's a freak. Seriously. But before Battlefield Earth, the boy had some MOVES.

Do NOT forget to test your movie trivia aptitude below in the latest edition of Mastah Thespian....

MASTER THESPIAN FRIDAY Version 8.2.16.3455

What movies are these quotes from?

1
David Howard: Say it! Say it! Say "I lost the nest-egg." Go on, say it!

2
Barbara Rose: Besides money...
[Barbara kicks off one of her heels and puts her foot in Gavin's crotch]
Barbara Rose: what would it take to get you to help me, Gavin?
Gavin: Come on, put your shoes on, Barbara. I haven't been into feet since '82.

3
Nurse Packer: [reading from a note left by Doc Hogue] "When to call me, you've been stabbed, shot, poisoned, separated from an appendage, knocked or beaten unconscious, run over by a tractor mower, or generally about to bleed to death. Otherwise, leave me alone"

4
Reuben Feffer: Since we have been together I have felt more uncomfortable, out of place, embarassed, and just physically sick then I have in my entire life. But I could not have gone through that, I could not have thrown up 19 times in 48 days if I was not in love with you.

5
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Are you Mr. Miller?
William Miller: Yeah.
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [politely] You have a message from Elaine, your mother.
[pause]
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: She's a handful.
William Miller: I know.
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [seriously] She freaked me out.

6
Doctor Jeff Cooper: You know... you kind of remind me of a bull terrier of some kind.
J.C. Wiatt: Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls.

TRIVIA

Q Bruce Willis was originally set to star in this movie but dropped out, though he appears as himself in its sequel.

Q In which movie did Kevin Costner play a dead guy and then get cut out?

The Best Skating performance I have ever seen

1998 Winter Olympics - Michelle Kwan Long Program Lyra Angelica

She only got the silver, which was complete crap.

My Movie Mood for Thursday

I am not depressed like this guy.... I just think this is hilarious.

Bill has a terrible cold, but otherwise things are okay. Teacher Gina told Bill this afternoon that Spencer is really smart and that he very interested in camels. Not sure about the connection there. It is very very windy tonight The dog is doing great with her hip. I just got that Jessica Seinfeld cookbook from the library, so I guess I am gonna go hide some vegetables in Spencer's food. Oh and we have come up with a theme for Spencer b day party in April.... REPTILES.

My Movie Mood today.... Moonstruck.

Cuz everyone and everything is driving me crazy.

My Movie Mood Today

From RUSHMORE.

Bette Davis, Joan Crawford: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

Here is a clip from the movie Bette Davis is incredible in this movie. I just kind of feel like I am never gonna leave the goat farm.. As if Bette is saying to me.. "Liz YahAhrnt Evah gonna Leave this house..." HAHAHAA

Here's an idea for Master Thespian Friday...

If you can remember a quote from ANY movie, that reflects the mood you are in that day... you should post it on MT FRIDAY.

For example, All this week I will post quotes from Movies that will reflect themood and or moods I am in at the moment.

SO here is how I am feeling today:

I feel like this quote from "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane:" Bette Davis says:

Jane: Blanche, yaharn't ever gonna sell this house... and yaharn't ever gonna leave it... either.

SO: how are YOU feeling today on this Monday Morning?

The Carrot, the Egg and the Coffee Bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. May we all be COFFEE

Superbowl Schmuperbowl....

Anyone besides me NOT watching the Superbowl?

I don't even know who is playing. However you look at it, I could care less about football and most sports except Figure Skating, other Winter Olympics and Summer Olympic Diving events and Gymnastics.

I have a husband who also follows pretty much no sports at all. Neither one of us know who is in it, what it is, where it is, or anything else about it. I know it is today only because they talked about how to avoid overeating at superbowl parties in my WW meeting last week. I will avoid that problem altogether.

LAST weekend, however, I was glued to the TV for the Us National Championships in Figure Skating. Bill is on his laptop today and Spencer is playing with something... not sure what... cold be anything. Oh actually he is playing with his letters on the fridge. As a Christmas present we got him a leap Frog Word Whammer. Its all magnetic for the fridge and it helps kids learn letters and how every letter makes a sound and form words and all of that. He loves it. It talks. The only problem is that we find those letters all over the house...

So, NOT THAT ANYONE IS READING THIS, but if anyone out there wants to report who won it or whatever, go ahead...

Good News Today!!!!

We got very good news today: The structural engineer came back to the house today as it is now all torn down and confirmed that the foundation is perfectly FINE!!!!! There was little or no damage on it and they are going to sign off on it. This is great news because it means that we will NOT have to pay to dig it up then have it re poured at a cost of like freaking $40K at the very least...

SO THAT was good news. WE talked to the Builder today Nick the Builder and he is getting everything in line to start construction in three weeks. He has to line up equipment, supplies, etc all of that stuff.

THIS IS PROGRESS!

Also there was a moment of levity in all of this tear down activity. Spencer was walking around the site the other day and he looked at this HUGE piece of wood that Nick has decided he can reuse on the new house.

He points to it and tell Bill: "Daddy, that is an I-Beam. Nick is gonna try to reuse it."

And we thought that whole obsession with Bob the Builder was a waste of time.....

Actually I learned a lot too, as during the tear down process they used this thing called a track hoe which was like a giant dinosaur mouth on the stick... and the guy was SO GOOD and picking all of the stuff up. I though You know? That would be a GREAT job to have!!!! I think it would be so cool to sit up in that thing and wield it around all day picking stuff up. I was fascinated...seriously It was like some kind of hard hat ballet. I loved it.

SO Maybe I'll figure out how to do that, and get that job. Probably you start here: http://www.heta4.com/

MASTER THESPIAN FRIDAY: NEW & IMPROVED

HINT PICTURE is ABOVE^

This is what a house foundation looks like... ^^

MASTER THESPIAN FRIDAY:

1. Name all the movies the quotes below in these two groups are from:

Group 1:

Quote A

Quote B

Quote C

Quote D

Actor all these movies have in common:

Group 2:

Quote A

Quote B

Quote C

Quote D

Actor all these movies have in common:

2. Once you come up with both actors, what movie did they do together?The Picture above is the HINT for Question 2

3. Who directed that movie?
   

Group 1:

Quote A

[Jo Jo is throwing self help books into a fire]
Ben Floss: Those were gifts.
Jo Jo Floss: "Grieving for Grownups"?
Ben Floss: They're supposed to be helpful.
Jo Jo Floss: Please. THIS is helpful.
[Throws another book into the fire]

Quote B

Abby McDeere: What are they going to do to you?
Avery Tolar: Whatever it is, they did it a long time ago.

Quote C

Aaron Altman: And if things had gone differently for me tonight then I probably wouldn't be saying any of this. I grant you everything. But give me this: he personifies everything that you've been fighting against. And I'm in love with you. How do you like that? I buried the lead.

Quote D

Ulysses Everett McGill: Why are you telling our gals that I was hit by a train?
Penny Wharvey McGill: Lots of respectable people have been hit by trains. Judge Hobbie over in Cookville was hit by a train. What was I gonna tell them, that you got sent to the penal farm and I divorced you from shame?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Uh, I take your point. But it does put me in a damn awkward position, vis-a-vis my progeny.

Group 2:

Quote A

[Crabtree and a student drag James, hopped up on codeine, out of the auditorium]
James Leer: The doors made so much noise!
Grady Tripp: Is he all right?
James Leer: It was so embarrassing! He had to be carried out.
Terry Crabtree: He's fine. He's narrating.
James Leer: They were going to the restroom. But would they make it in time?

Quote B

Celeste Talbert: [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...
[At their table]
Ariel Maloney: Bitch!
David Barnes: Hag!
Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much!

Quote C

Douglas: Say, are you two still married or what? I find it all very confusing.
Charlie: Mmm... it's not at all confusing. You see, when everyone thought we were having an affair, we were married. Now that everyone realizes we're married, we're getting divorced.
Douglas: Man's a wizard with women. No question about it.

Quote D

Billy Covingtonn: Gene, you cant sell the plane! It's government property!
Gene Ryack: The U.S. Government doesn't exist in Laos and neither does this plane!
Billy Covington: Good point!

Going, Going, Going, GONE!!!!

Hey you know a lot of people would be saddened by these pics and I should be one of them I guess, but as I predicted, I was NOT. And I think we should have had the stairs outside the WHOLE TIME!!!! I love how in the last one there is a guy in what is left of the kitchen... It looks like he is just gonna do some dishes or something. The blue and green stuff on the top floor is Spencer's bathroom. It was cute, it had a skylight. I was NOT sad at watching all of it crash to the ground. I should be maybe but I feel just mad at myself for complaining so much. Anon is right there are people in houses that are losing them or people with Cancer or death and I mean they are really up a tree you know? I still have Spencer, Bill, Amy the Broken Hip dog (doing MUCH better!) and Elmo the goat.

Frankly though the worst of it is still ahead of us the fight over it all, the mediation, The best is coming too, as we get to rebuild a new house that is TOTALLY ours. How bad can that be? I can stand the goat farm a little longer.. I actually think I may MISS the goat...He and I are a lot alike. He has a sort of a crabby curmudgeonly personality, yet he just keeps hanging in there. The goat and I may be soulmates.

Tear Down begins at dawn....One last rant before I go....

Our House on day of explosion. Those long metal strips in the road are parts of the garage that flew 80 feet and landed there.

7:30 AM to be exact tomorrow AM. I will be there to watch and so will Bill and Spencer, But then Spencer has to get to preschool at 9. Bill says he is sad about it, and that I will be too, and that I do not know how I wil feel until I see it. I maintain that I will be not a bit sad about it, as I am sick of the entire thing and if tearing it downs gets us one step closer to leaving this godforsaken effing goat farm than how bad can that be?????

I HATE the goat farm. I hate the seventies decor, I hate the formica the linoleum and the rose wallpaper all over the place. I hate that it has very little insulation so that it is always freezing cold, I hate the brown shag, the brown water, taking sulfer showers and watching the food chain in action in my own back yard. i hate that my dog came home with a duck in her mouth, and that I even have to know that dogs hunt birds. I hate all the lawn signs protesting the chicken factory or whatever that is supposedly trying to move here. I hate that we have two stinky barns. I hate that we live in this busy road where people fly down it and our dog ran out and was almost killed by one of these cow owning, truck driving yahoos. I hate all skunks, possums, goats, pigs, cows, llamas, alpacas, horses, sheep and that freaking ginormous Great Dane from next door that hangs out in our backyard all the time and lays horrendous turd-a-roonies in our bushes. I hate those weird Amish Children Of The Corn kids who mocked me at the Wilco Farm store when I asked them what they were gonna so with the baby chicks they bought. They were like "Raise them, Like DUH!" I hate seeing guys in Carhart and whiskers and plaid. I hate that I ever have to go into the field with the goat to get Spencer's red wagon and have to avoid stepping and falling into gopher holes. I don't even know what a freaking gopher is nor why they have holes. I hate so many of these weirdos who live out here who look at me like I am insane when I ask them a simple question... "Where do you THINK we will keep the chickens??? In the Coop, of course!!!" You know, I grew up in the suburbs, where the biggest problem was pure boredom. I never had to learn where my food comes from and I am pretty sure I do not need to ever know it now.

Farm Living Ain't the Life for Me. I want my normal kitchen back, to live in my real neighborhood and once again hang out with our friends and talk about normal things and watch each other's kids and trade recipes and all of this stuff, and have fun and just laugh until it gets dark. I want to sit on my patio and not smell and hear cows and donkeys and whatever the f*ck else that guy next door owns....I want to yell at Spencer for driving his Jeep too fast.

I sound like a spoiled rotten little bitch right now, one who was not previously aware that goats are "good eatin'." I wish there was some kind of gas I could inhale that would put me asleep until our house is built and we are all moved in. I am ready for the beginning of the end of this nightmare, so tear the freaking piece of crap, that monument to disaster RIGHT DOWN. Tomorrow AM is fine but if you want to start tonight that is okay too. And I will be the LEAST SAD person there.