House has been finished - at least exterior paint

This is pretty crappy picture.... but it is done There will be better pics later. That car in the driveway is that painter's.

Have to still decide on door color but that happens like LAST. We realized later that we have now painted the house the exact color of the porta potty.

How sad is that????

have to go Tomorrow they are coming for the rental furniture. Though we do not have to be out of the goat farm until Thursday we are starting our hotel stay tomorrow night. SO this is our last night with the goat.

Wow I just cannot stop crying...... NOT!!!!

House has been painted grey!

House has now been painted grey.
Its not the grey I wanted.... I wanted a brighter grey... but whatever.

The only OOPS so far today is that the garage was supposed to be WHITE and not grey. So they are gonna re do it.

The house is now being painted grey with white trim. However the garage was ALSO painted grey and that was supposed to be white. So we had to tell them to change that.

They are also inside the house putting in the flooring upstairs.

Not much else is new there. Here at the Goat Farm we are packing packing packing. I cannot WAIT to get all of this over with. Even though we do not have to be out of the Goat Farm until Thursday we are trying to get out by Tuesday or Wednesday.

We are definitely staying at the Homestead Studio Suites until Tuesday the 4th, but then after that we may go out of town. I am afraid to go out of town, because it seems that at ever turn in the house buildong process little tiny things go wrong and if we are not there to correct them they get finished wrong and then we are stuck with them wrong.

If I had my way we would get a motor home and park it out in front of the house. We could sit there alll day watching them finish the house. I would know it was getting done correctly but not only that, I am sure our presence would foster a sense of urgency. Right now I see no sense of urgency about completing the house. In the last three weeks the only thing that was completed was the stonework, even though we are due to hit the streets on July 31. I guess a lot of stuff is getting done now, but the last thing I wanna do is leave town.

On the good news side, I was able to get us a $75 a night hotel room on priceline for only $42 A NIGHT for a week. I am GREAT at getting hotel rooms for discount prices. I once got us the San Jose Doubletree for $35 a night, and when we were doing the move from San Jose to Canby I got us the Hyatt for three weeks for $41 a night. Seriously, people come to me to get good prices on hotel rooms, I am pretty good at this. I used to book all of Bill's musician's friends hotel rooms for the NAMM show and also for out of town gigs. But enough about me.... I have to go get a bunch of crap out of the barn and stick it in the POD. I HATE the barn it is full of ANTS SOOOO gross.

I am so SICK of this. I just want to be back in my house. I cannot believe we have now missed two full summers in our neighborhood. CRAP. It is SUCH TOTAL CRAP.

Look!!! Its Spencer and I, packing the POD.

We are covered in Barn Goo and packing muck.

I cannot help the way I look. I live with a goat.

Gawd maybe after all of this is over I will get a makeover of some kind. I think what would help the most would be some Botox, some Miss Clairol, less dorky clothes, WAY less dorky glasses and maybe a lobotomy to forget the past 16 months.

Also we managed to salvage our bathroom vanity. It was in the Sploded bathroom, where the one wall caught fire. This bathroom was across the hall from the laundry room, where the fireball blew through from the garage. The fire was so hot in the laundry room that all the clothes in the dryer melted into a big ball of melted laundry clothes goo. The finish on it melted a little and its yucky because its been sitting in the Bird Poop Barn forever, but it survived and we are gonna use it. It went through an EXPLOSION and its still here, sort of like us. It has character, a past, now, which makes me like it even more. Oh and also it has a granite top, and it was only three weeks old when the house exploded. It is going in the bathroom with the weird rocks on the floor.

Sploded Vanity - It lived through the explosion and through months of living in the back barn - Bird Poop Central. It deserves to go back in the house.

Holy Wandering Cows!!!! Mini Adventure, Only in Canby...

Only one cow was still out by the time I found my stupid camera phone

We were driving home tonight from our 19th trip to the storage unit and there is this dairy farm we pass all the time. In fact it it almost directly across the road from the Goat Farm. We never see the ACTUAL COWS out though. You can kind of see inside the barn, etc and you can hear and smell them when you are outside but that is about it. Except for toni9ght they were all loose just kind of wandering around all over the place,,, I cannot even describe how enormous these cows are.. I mean one would have just crushed our minivan.

We knew this was odd since they are NEVER out like this. So we drove up this driveway to knock on the door of this house to see if they knew why the cows were out wandering very close to the road.

The lady seemed sort of annoyed at first, but then Bill told her that there were cows wandering allover the place, and she ran outside. She walked down to the barn, clapped her hands and started yelling at all of them. Amazingly they all lumbered back into the barn.

Is this reallllly funny or reallly sad? Both, kinda. Finger is a little better

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46937

I mean, I GET it you know.... its funny...... BUT: THIS IS MY HOME TOWN!!!!!!

I liked this quote the best:


Ranneke acquired several Detroit commercial districts and the steel-and-glass 1970s-era Renaissance Center for $4,000.

"I did them a favor," Ranneke said. "Believe me, Detroit's been around the block. I was willing to take it off their hands for six grand, but I caught a glimpse of that Ambassador Bridge and I said 'no way.' I am not Santa Claus."

I got some keflex and my finger seems to be healing. Still packing up to move.

Drove around all morning, then off to MD. Finger now needs medical intervention.

Builder Nick and Bill in garage this AM at Sploded house. Nick in white shirt. Probably talking about wood. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have to go see my MD this afternoon because my finger is really bad. We ran errands all morning. Canby Builders, preschool, sploded house, Walgreens, Home Depot, back to preschool.
I took only one picture, Bill and Nick at the house talking. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I may have to take Spencer to Dr with me. Dr hates that. Too bad.

Hard to type with bad finger. bye for now.

More Rocks are on the House today.

More Rocks from Far Away

Close Up of the Rocks

This has nothing to do with the rocks. I just like this picture of Joan Cusack in the movie Working Girl.

The flooring has arrived and it will go in tomorrow. It has to sit around for a day or two to acclimate itself to the air or something only Bill and other wood guys understand.

Also the exterior painting will happen on Monday. Also pretty soon, the banister guy is gonna put that in. I think after the floor guys. The paint guy told us that we can have the front door painted a different color than the rest of the house, as an accent. I think blue would be good, but then when given a choice I always pick blue. For like EVERYTHING. Red is good Feng Shui, but i don't care much about that.... but then after this year, maybe I should. Black hides the dirt. I dunno, we have to thinks about it.

I think a cool neon blue sparkly door would really brighten up the hood. Kind of a Disco feel.

The rocks guy is making progress on the rocks and he has like three of the posts thing done. There will also be a fence thing sort of around the porch but that goes in later. it will be like the old porch as seen in this picture. But we had to put the rocks on the bottom this time because the posts have to be anchored into the porch because of the foundation its complicated and boring but we needed to have rocks on the bottoms of the posts this time.



Ok this is kind of funny - I am pretty sure that the guy who owns the goat farm is renting a house IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD!!!! he is very anxious to get back to the goat farm, and we are just as anxious to get back home. its funny I can just see him complaining about the exact opposite of thing we are complaining about here:

"I have to get back to my goat farm. This water is so bland, the shower is so big and new I can hardly stand it, and I am freezing cold in this air conditioning. At night I cannot even hear any donkeys, frogs, or cows. There is NOTHING living in the fireplace here, how boring! The air smells so odd, no dead skunks, no Llama or cow poop smell, no gopher holes in the lawn, no goat.... I mean, how can these people live like this?????"

my finger still hurts

My Finger. Note: drawing not to scale.....

I have what is called a PARONYCHIA. No idea how I got it, but I blame the goat. It hurts a lot. Its hard to do everything. I have not seriously been in SO MUCH PAIN in like five years. I mean I had a C SECTION that did not hurt this much for this long. But I talk to my Dr every day about it and I am getting good advice.
No Fun.
Yesterday Spencer went to Kempo, and water camp. We spent most of the rest of the day packing stuff up. it does not look like we have done much but almost all the cupboards in the bathrooms and the entire kitchen are empty. We are working on the garage and now gonna start in on the barn after that. Bill is trying to finish instruments while we also pack because he will not have a place to work for the next three or four weeks when thehouse finishes.

We have debated about where to live, probably going to be motel 6, just because it is the easiest.

Rocks.

They added these rocks to the house today. They are not done yet They are also going onto the posts on the porch. They should finish this tomorrow. Also the wood arrived for the floors.


Also Spencer practiced his scooter.

Motel 6 or Extended Stay America? Plus, more critters

We've got woodchucks.
Who do you even call for this? The Vet? The ASPCA?
I freaking give up.

Decisions decisions. Right now we are faced with whether to stay in Motel 6 or Extended Stay America Suites, and for how long in one or both?

Its a tough call....they have parallel levels of suckiness.

I am also looking into renting a month long sublet from strangers on Craig's list.

Also, there is a REALLLLLY good rate on an Extended Stay place in Salem, but I wonder WHY it is so cheap..... is it surrounded by like crack houses or something? Not sure, but I am looking forward to finding out with my four year old in tow. "Don't worry about those syringes, Spencer. Just step over them, like Mommy does!"

I know even though a certain Ins Co is blaming a certain builder for a certain family's house build being delayed, and taking it out on said family, even though a certain policy is supposed to cover a rental for two years, it is still comforting to have such Good Neighbors.

Also I know we are moving out in 11 days and it is no longer my problem, but at the Goat Farm there is SOMETHING LIVING IN THE FIREPLACE. Like a bird's nest or maybe some freaking raccoons or a family of bobcats. They make a lot of noise, which is quite comforting.

I can almost be sure there is NOT a family of woodchucks living in our NEW fireplace, but then, you never know.

On the good side, we did buy a really nice used sofa at a garage sale.

Its a magical summer.

I thought this was Hilarious, it is from the latest New Yorker

Shouts & Murmurs

Fourteen Passive-Aggressive Appetizers

by Yoni Brenner July 21, 2008

1. Top thick slices of country bread with fresh goat cheese. Sprinkle with herbs and bake until crusty; serve to everyone but Jeff.

2. Vegetarian friends? Try veggie rumaki: wrap a strip of imitation bacon around a water chestnut, spear with a toothpick, and broil—but instead of imitation bacon use real bacon, and instead of a water chestnut use veal.

3. Steal Cheryl’s famous potato-salad recipe. When Cheryl asks, “Why did you steal my recipe?,” say, “I don’t know, Cheryl, why did you break my heart?” Then laugh so she knows you’re just kidding.

4. Blend fresh crabmeat with diced avocado, scallions, and a dollop of mayonnaise for a canapé topping so delicious that it will take your guests a full minute to realize that they’re eating it off dog biscuits. Once they catch on, act mortified and stammer that you must have “mixed up the boxes,” until everyone calms down. Then start crying because the biscuits remind you that today marks exactly eight weeks since you had to put down Buster, and you just miss him so much.

5. Tell Marissa that you appreciate her concern, but in the two years since Cheryl broke off the engagement you’ve grown up a lot, and you’re really in a much healthier place now. Then say, “Speaking of fiancés, how’s Peter’s alcoholism?” (Note: This is not technically an appetizer.)

6. For a taste of the U.K., fry up mini-servings of fish-and-chips. Take it to the next level by wrapping them in small pieces of newspaper, which, oddly enough, all seem to be printed with unfavorable reviews of Jeff ’s novel.

7. Have you ever noticed how sun-dried tomatoes and top-grade peyote look exactly the same? Not a suggestion, really. Just saying.

8. Another one for the vegetarians. If they think they like tofu, wait until they sample your delicious mock tofu—all you need is chicken fat, puréed pork loin, and five cups of piping-hot tallow. Cheryl will never know the difference.

9. Tempura makes great finger food, and the batter locks the flavor of just about anything in a savory, opaque crust. Impress your friends with creative choices, from squash blossoms to mislaid car keys to the two-carat engagement ring that Cheryl gave back to you after she “reassessed things.” Surprise!

10. Guests getting antsy? Head them off with a big bowl of steamed mussels. No one can resist mussels, not even emotionally stunted ex-fiancées and their new poorly-received-novelist boyfriends. Besides, disappearing into the kitchen will give you a chance to collect your thoughts and also to go slash Jeff ’s tires.

11. Homemade sugared almonds make the perfect sendoff, sure to please all your guests, even the ones who would be bludgeoning you with a tire iron if Peter weren’t standing between you. Good old Peter. He may not be the brightest or the handsomest person, but he’s very large.

12. As the party disperses, your guests might seem a little ungrateful, calling you an obsessive sociopath or pelting you with sugared almonds. Don’t worry, it’s probably the peyote talking. Just stand on the porch as their cars pull out, your eyes brimming with tears, and shout, “You know, I try, I really do . . .”

13. Add, “My dog died! He died! And he’s never coming back!”

14. Hepatitis! (Note: This is not technically an appetizer.) ♦

Flu, School, Slurpees, Crackers, Buh-Bye Bamboo,

Maple Floors with natural stain

I have had the stomach flu today and last night, the same thing Spencer and Bill both had. Yuck. I ate only a Slurpee and some crackers today. I slept most of the day except where we had to go pick out different floors. Spencer gave me his "Freddie Bear" to sleep with and he told me Freddie would make me feel better. Even without the stomach flu I doubt that anything will make me feel good these days unless its a medically induced coma where I wake up on Halloween. I 'm looking into it. However I DO have the sweetest kid ever. Even though he NEVER, EVER stop stalking.

The Bamboo is out for a couple of reasons.. One because though the flooring is okay in price the stair treads for it would have been like WAAAAAYYY over priced. Something like $100/tread, and we have like 16 I think. SO then we thought about matching some oak to the bamboo just for the stairs and that was the plan.

Then we found out that the white oak engineered wood floor for the upstairs was back ordered and would take a MONTH to come in. NO WAY. SO then we looked at stuff that would match the Bamboo but of course the sample for the bamboo was checked out and we could not match it.

So guess what... we had to start alll over. SO now we will put solid Natural Finish Maple in the livingroom, and engineered upstairs. it all matches with the tile and the other cabinets. It will look nice and it was overall less expensive than the stranded bamboo anyway. Honestly this exact maple was my very first choice, but I was gonna let Bill get what he wanted for the wood floors because he let me have my way with the tile.

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah My life is so boring even I don't want to hear about the house anymore... although Habib finished today (for now) and it looks AMAZING. I LOVE Habib. I also referred him to another mom at my preschool, whose daughter is also in Spencer's Karate class. She had an interview with him and it seemed to go well. So he might be doing her bathroom.

Starting Monday Spencer has "Wet and Wild Day Camp:

Wet and Wild Water Camp
July 21-25 Monday-Friday 9:00am-1:00pm
Wet and wild is the word to describe this camp. We will play in and out of water. Experiment with water, colors and bubbles as we explore this fabulous source of fun. Each child will need a supply of water clothes, towels and sunscreen before coming to camp each day. We plan to play outside every day.


I am thinking we could save $ and just hose him down all day for a week, but honestly he loves Teacher Gina, and a lot of his friends are in these camps. Also really this has been a really ADULT summer for Spencer. He is away from his friends on our street for the second summer in a row, and he spends a lot of time getting dragged to flooring showrooms and paint stores etc. That is NOT a four year old's idea of FUN. He LOVES these camps.

The other day I left a message for Dylan T.'s two moms where I was gonna give them a ton of Spencer's clothes that do not fit him anymore. They have two boys, and they are like the only family I know with TWO boys. Anyway but they had just landed in Boston so I will save them for them when they get back. The ones they do not want I will just donate to the Teacher Gina Poop Your Pants Fund, which is not the real name but one I made up for this box in the bathroom at the preschool. Everyone including me is always donating clothes to it. If kid has an ACCIDENT - you know what I mean - they need clothes to change into... weird clothes. But you know they gotta wear something home. So when Spencer comes out of preschool wearing plaid slacks and a striped shirt its pretty obvious what has happened... However, he never has accidents anymore, except when he cannot get the zipper down in time.... so we have to always put him in pants he can unzip himself....he is getting better at it. lately he can get it down most of the time but then cannot get it back up.
This might be TOO MUCH INFORMATION.....
Luckily a lot of companies make pants for boys that LOOK LIKE they have a zipper but they really do not. We are big fans of these pants. around our house... Of course, Spencer spends most of his time in the house NAKED. He starts out dressed and then slowly but surely off come the clothes. I have learned that this is a BOY THING and I am not the only mom who deals with this.

We'll leave the light on fer ye...

We are officially going to be homeless for the month of August. The Ins Co will not pay for another month of rent anywhere because the builder promised them it would be done. The builder is trying to get it done but stuff happens... anyway... so no hotel. SO I guess we are just gonna hit the road with dog and kid in tow.. store my car someplace, and just see what happens. We are starting out at a Motel 6, because unless it is a real vacation I could care less what the room etc is like. We don't want to book like an entire month someplace in case the house DOES get done early. Ideally I do not mind the first week being out, but then I would like to be in the area the second week of August so that Spencer can go to the Day Camp at his preschool he planned to that week... I think it is the last one, Cooking for Kids with Teacher Gina.

Delightful Delicacies Cooking Camp
August 4-8 Monday-Friday 9:00am-1:00pm

Delightful delicacies made with each Child's own hands. A time to explore the science of the kitchen in a safe and satisfying experience. Seeing, touching, smelling and of course tasting are all a big component of this delicious and delightful week.

I would hope he would not have to miss it. Spencer LOVES Teacher Gina...She is a GREAT teacher and a really nice person, even though to me she has a kind of a "Tammy Faye" thing going on... something about the way she looks reminds me of Tammy Faye.

Even if we are not yet in the house we could stay somewhere near there. He could eat Lunchables for lunch.. he likes those... but get this... He never eats the crackers!!! He always just gives them to me.

Teacher Gina, head of Spencer's preschool and Day Camps

We looked into stuff like vacation rentals and stuff, we also thought that maybe we could all head up to Washington State and Bill could get some work done at Luthier Tom's house. OR we could go down to So Cal and stay at his parent's house, but I think that would have to be AFTER the camp ends.. SO who knows. We don't want to rent a house for one month... what a pain, but also it means starting up utilities etc. I do not mind Motel 6. I mean, not FOREVER but to be honest the bathrooms are nicer than the Goat Farm.

I might miss that goat a little. He's a cute little feller. But don't tell anyone...
Oh and get this... all I could eat today was like a slurpee and saltines Seriously. but 7-11 now has CRYSTAL LITE Slurpees!!!! TWO FLAVORS!!!! Mango and Raspberry They are AWESOME.... Cold Slurpee goodness and NO CALORIES!!!!!

CAN YOU STAND IT???? CRYSTAL LITE SLURPEES!!!!

Another thing they grow in Canby.... Miniature Horses.

You know I am not joking about this, honestly. They have a bunch of farms in Canby that grow and breed these Miniature horses.



I know this one lady who knows about horses and I asked her - seriously what are these here for????? I mean what the heck do you do with a miniature horse???? Do they get miniature riders? Do they hire toddler equestrians to do like Mini Hunter Jumper events with them???? Do they pull like Radio Flyer wagons around?

I am not trying to mock anyone here - I simply DO NOT GET IT!!!!

On the other hand, they are awfully cute, and not much bigger than my dog. So maybe we can have one at the new house as a permanent reminder of our spell in the country.

All the news that's fit to print

"I eat breakfast 300 yards away from 4000 goats who are trained to annoy me."

Today we found out that even though the house will not be finished, and the goat farm is out of the question, we will be financially responsible for living someplace else. We have a couple of options, and we are considering different ones. We HAVE TO be out of the Goat Farm because that guy is moving back in.

Also today, with three hours notice, the landlord asked to show the property to a prospective buyer. So we scrapped our plans we had this evening and instead hung out in the HOT HOT house with no AC and 89 degrees CLEANING and putting away our stuff. We had a system going for our packing to leave here, so we had boxes all out everywhere and piles of stuff to throw away, give away etc. We had to put it ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL away, in three hours, so that someone could come in and look at this place. They were here for about 45 seconds. Now we have to practically start over.

When it does cool down a little at night we cannot open the windows, because they are all covered in plastic from the outside. This is because two days ago the exterior painters were here painting, and they left all that stuff up. So its hot, it smells like paint, we cannot open the windows, and we have been set back a week on our packing.

I would say that I cannot wait to get out of here, and this is actually true, but I have no idea where we will go. Wherever it is, I know it will be weird, and we will be paying for it, but it will be temporary. SO In two weeks, we are officially homeless for a month, or however long it takes to finish the house. Am I upset?

Well, in the scheme of things, I mean who should I get mad at first? The list is long, and distinguished, and the fact is I could get mad at the entire world right now and it changes NOTHING.

And after while you just cannot get any more mad. SO much crap has happened in the past year that NOTHING and I mean NOTHING surprises me anymore. So when I hear that once again crap is happening I honestly half expected it. I am a seasoned pro at this now, you know? If you want to screw with my family these days you have to take a number and get really creative to even make a dent in all the crap has already happened.

At the end of it anyway, who wins and loses?? Nothing that has happened in the past year can ever change the fact that we all love each other and we are all committed to the survival of our family. I have a great husband, a great kid and an okay dog who holds me in medium esteem. I may not be a Christian but I know what is real and true, so bring it. My commitment to seeing the nightmare of this past year be completely corrected so that we are whole again cannot be underestimated.

FINALLY cooler today, Doodle is Sick, and Its All Over but the Grouting...

Poor Spencer has been sick, cannot keep anything down, not even water. We are going to call the Advice Nurse soon, and see what they say. Its a cool feature of our pediatrician's office. I guess he will probably not go to Karate today, but I still have WW and to meet Habib at the house. Bill has lots of guitars to finish. I have to call and order a dumpster to be delivered.

Looks like we will be on our own after August 1, and we have a couple of different options I guess, maybe go see Bill's parents, maybe go live in Corvallis in a duplex Bill's friend owns.. Corvallis is like a college town. I think it is where Oregon State U is, home of the Beavers. A friend of ours who lives in CA owns a couple of rentals there and one of them is empty. No furniture, and maybe no AC, but we have lived all summer now practically without it, what is few more weeks.

When you hit the State Line of Oregon you must declare your preference for one of two teams, or take a vow of neutrality. Either you are a Beaver or a Duck. You CANNOT be both. Its the Law. We will be living, possibly, in Beaver Country.

Habib has got the tile really going. Its all over but the Grouting.... get it? grouting? Habib is awesome. He has done an AMAZING job so far!!!!

Gonna be 89 today. Surprise breakfast.

Surprise breakfast.... "Look Mommy I made this for you!!!!"

Headed to house today after I eat the weird "surprise breakfast" that Spencer made me this morning. It consists of weird blue kid flavored yogurt like blue raspberry or some other weird made up flavor and bananas. I am trying so hard to eat some.

Hard to be a mom sometimes. I try hard not to eat many blue foods.... except blueberries.

But it was SOOOO sweet of him to make this!!! However I am grateful he did not add the tortilla chips he was planning to....

Well, now its back to work for Spencer... the naked builder is on the job.

Back to work

Amy the Dawg is unconcerned about the mess at the goat farm... which we have only cleaned up three times since breakfast. Life with a busy four year old.

She's a fine lookin' dawg.

Message to Frank and Joyce: IT IS REALLY ME!!!

I sent Maria a note on Facebook, with my email address!

I am trying to think of something... let's see....

Someone we know was always telling me to "hold on to my Dragon Wings......."

And he once helped me make a pair of glasses for a turtle in Terry's ceramics class. What occurred to me much, much later is that turtles do not have ears.

It was hot today. Again. And there was SMOKE!!!!

This is NOT Mt St Helen's

Shocking.

Its okay I am getting used to 2nd degree burns on my head from running from the house to the car.

Ok the weirdest thing today was this smoke that was in the air coming from a far off mountain, Mt St helen's which is visible to us in Portland but it is pretty far away. I would have sworn it was erupting today!!! However, I guess this is going on, it is a wild fire near there...

here is an article I just found on it.

http://www.katu.com/news/25042474.html

This week Spencer does not have any camp but still has Kempo. We have a lot of packing to do and I have to make 300 phone calls to arrange for dumpsters and storage units and rental furniture pick up OH MY. BUT Because he has no camp this week and Bill still has instruments to finish before he has to stop working ebcause of yet another move, I have to keep Spencer out of his hair. it will be 85 tomorrow, the goat farm has no AC.... Have I mentioned that before????

Maybe I can just drag him with me places...

We went to McDonalds for breakfast - we had not been there in a while and also because it was 9 AM and already 85 on the goat farm, and Spencer played on the playland thing and spilled his milk. He spills his drink EVERY TIME in McDonald's, but the staff there is great. They see him walk in the door and I hear them yell, "Get the mop ready, Spencer is here!"

We made several trips to The Storage unit etc. and then we shopped a bit and then we came home and I made Homemade Salsa Fresca. It was pretty good, actually and we grilled some flank steak that we had been marinating for like three days. Siri gave me the recipe and we thought we would have one last decent cooked dinner before we have to pack up the kitchen and move to the van down by the river.

Well I have to go watch "The Next Food Network Star." I have to enjoy my Tivo while we still have a place to plug it in. Residence Inn (I am HOPING we get to go there for a month) has great stuff a pool, free breakfast, normal water, housekeepers, cable - all good things but NO TIVO. I am gonna miss a LOT of Project Runway but I have heard you can watch a lot of that stuff online anyway.

I CURSE YOU, Surprising Sharks! A Library Confessional - Plus: TIME TO MOVE!!! AGAIN!!!!

Turns out stupid sharks are NOT that surprising, but mostly just a pain in the a**

Sharks and Library Crimes

Well today was the big day that I FINALLY located the book that has eluded me through 4 online renewals and 39 days overdue.....""SURPRISING SHARKS."

I have been looking for this stupid book FOREVER, so that I can now skulk inside the Canby Library, possibly in disguise, dutifully pay my fine and remove the now tarnished Chapin Family Name from the Clackamas County Top Ten Most Wanted Overdue Book Criminals List.

There is not really a list, but if there was, we would be be the Reading Public's enemy number one. I am not sure what happened.... Hey, you know... stuff happens....

We were doing so great there for a while but then after a while we just got so busy with the house and packing and all of this stuff, and then camp and swimming and Kempo and everything else that we sort of flaked on our library books Once in a while I would come across one and go turn it in sneakily in the night drop box, but I thought I had them all and then I looked at the online account thing and there it was... "SURPRISING SHARKS."

SURPRISE!!!!!!! I missed a book on the list and forgot to turn it in when I thought I had turned them all in!!!!!

This is the worst crime I have committed against the library since I defaced a cookbook last fall.

It was not really a crime, more of a countercrime... You see, I rented this Paula Deen cookbook last fall and in there was her recipe for this really great sounding cake: Sweet Baby Jack Carrot Cake.. Well someone had literally RIPPED some Pages out of this book - it was NOT ME... I WOULD NEVER EVER do that... I sepnd a lot of time copying recipes out of library books on to index cards. HOWEVER some idiot did that, and so the cake recipe was there but the FROSTING recipe was cut off. How can you have carrot cake with no frosting???? SO I looked up the recipe for the frosting online, and I took a sticky note and in pencil I wrote out the recipe for the frosting and stuck it to the carrot cake recipe of the book. Is that a crime???? Maybe but the first crime was the idiot who ripped out the book in the first place.

What I should have done was to tell the library about the idiot with no soul who ripped several pages out of the book in the first place, but then they would see my sticky note. So I did not. However, I DO have TWO "I LOVE MY LIBRARY" lawn signs up - one here at the goat farm and one at the real house. There is an election this fall, crucial for the survival of the Clackamas County Library system.

Moving is FUN!!!!!

You know most people would say they hate moving, but not me... I realllly reallly like it. I like it SO MUCH that I have moved TEN TIMES in the past year and a half.

There is nothing like waking up not knowing were you are going to live next month and having to pack alllll of your family's belongings into cardboard boxes. Again. The sound of the tape gun, the smell of the cardboard... it just makes my heart SING!!!! Then knowing we get to make 2679 round trips in the van filled with boxes and furniture and exploded crap - from rental to storage to house to storage to rental to Pod to storage to old house to new house to rental to barn to Mars to rental - WOW!!! That makes it Extra Special. This is EXACTLY how I wanted to spend this past year. Why do crafts with your kids when you can MOVE??? Why get more involved in your child's preschool when you can be MOVING??

SO far, in the last 500 or so days, we have moved

1. Feb 2007: Into our master bedroom for 4 weeks during the FIRST remodel
2. April 2007 From Sploded House to Residence Inn when house exploded
3. June 2007 From Residence Inn to Faux Chateau after 5 weeks
4. Summer 2007 All the rest of the crap from the house that did not come with us to Faux Chateau moved FROM Sploded house into STORAGE UNIT
5. November 2007 From Faux Chateau to Goat Farm
6. December - March 2008 Close the storage unit, Move all that crap into barn at the goat farm.
7.July 2008 Now move all stuff we were PLANNING to move right into the house out of the Barn and the goat farm instead INTO POD and/or one of two New Storage units
8. August 2008 Move ourselves and One Month's supplies off goat farm into some other rental that we still do not know where it is or what it will be yet... but I am guessing it will be A Van Down By The River. But not our van. We have to sell it.
9. September 2008 IF house is EVER completed, Move stuff from POD and Storage unit into real house. Finally.
10. September 2008 Then move ourselves and One Month's Supplies back to the house.

I have to go. I have to get more packing tape and I am out of Vermouth again.

Over 31 million of you voted and the results are in..Thanks to all who voted.

We shall use the lighter shade of grey on this house

With the decorative rocks seen on this house

We have finally chosen the EXACT paint color for the exterior of our house, as well as those decorative rocks thingies that go on the outside. Hey - I warned you it would be a BORING color. We are not exciting people. These are both houses in Builder Nick's neighborhood, which he built but also lives in. Nick builds entire subdivisions, but unlike a lot of builders in these kinds of subs he really does not just slap them together etc.. Nick is really careful about the details and his finish work is just amazing. Only one of the many reasons we chose him to rebuild our fabulous imaginary mansion.....

So the "rocks" house is actually Nick's next door neighbor, and the "paint" house is a house across the street.

The trick is, you have to picture these materials and paint on YOUR house, which is a bit more difficult.

I'm REALLLLLY hoping the Porta Potty is not staying, but after this last development, all bets are off.

However, for myself, since I have such an inflated and overzealous sense of grandeur, I can pull it off.... You see, its really all about living in that imaginary house in your mind. I like to remove myself from reality (if you lived with a goat you would too) and picture living in a vaguely familiar house that I am decorating in my mind. Of course, who knows if we ever will move in to said house.... it may be YEARS AWAY. However, I have a rich inner life which affords me the ability to completely suspend reality. It is a gift, and a burden. I equate it to staying in a really nice hotel: Yes, for the past 448 days I have lived in Motel 6 - the opulent Goat Suite. But once a looooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time ago I spent some time at a Holiday Inn Crowne Plaza. Though it was only short time, and we may NEVER EVER stay there again, I do have a fond remembrance of it. Thus, even though I will be living in Motel 6 UNTIL THE END OF TIME I can still decorate this imaginary hotel room I called home ONCE UPON A TIME.

I'd love to write more, but I just drained another case of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, so I'm off to the store. Oh that's right, I need to make myself a reminder note - I always forget the mixers. I'll make a list....let's see..... Hawaiian Punch, Pineapple Juice, Draino, V8 Juice, V-05, Vermouth, propane and Oh I almost forgot, Liquid Plumber, Maraschino Cherries. And anchovy olives. Yeah, that should about do it for at least two more nights.