I said I don't want a whale in a box or a bag.: The funniest thing I have ever seen on You Tube.

I wanna leave Bennigan's.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLd22ha_-VU

Seriously. I said I don't want a whale in a box or a bag.

These are pretty funny too...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-NZWtTJYI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NWE3px40_g&feature=related

Article I found: Eat this stuff.

11 healthiest foods you probably aren't eating

(FYI: I already eat some of these: Pomegranate juice, cabbage, Cinnamon, blueberries. But not all at once.)

I'm not a big fan of "superfoods." I think there are a lot of foods that are super, and I think that most of them are easily accessible to the vast majority of people. Focusing on one funny-sounding food as a nutritional miracle does a disservice to the more common fruits and veggies we eat every day.

So I'm thrilled that the NYT Well Blog made a list of 11 healthy (but not uncommon) foods that we aren't eating, and that, for the most part, everyone will recognize the foods on the list.

Not only will you recognize them, but you'll probably even be able to get them at your local grocer. The idea behind lists like this is that we all should be eating a wide variety of foods, to ensure that we're getting the proper vitamins and minerals. So every time you add a new food to your palate, you're also adding a new source of good nutrition.

So here's the list:

• beets
• cabbage
• Swiss chard
• cinnamon
• pomegranate juice
• prunes
• pumpkin seeds
• sardines
• turmeric
• frozen blueberries
• canned pumpkin
  
  

What about you? Is there a healthy food you aren't eating? Check out the gallery below for foods you ought to embrace.

Gallery: Color your diet with these fruits and veggies

HABITUS INTERRUPTUS, DAY 447 - Have you met my friend, Captain Morgan???

Me, in a month.

I should just rename this blog "ENDLESS COMPLAINING."

Here in Portland it is balmy 94 degrees at 8 PM. The A?C in the Goat Farm of course is useless, and we now cannot open the windows because there are people here painting the outside.

Today we found out that our house will NOT be finished, and we will have to be out of it for an EXTRA MONTH. Move in date: Sept 1. That means we will now miss the SECOND ENTIRE summer in our neighborhood, including the Corn Lady etc. However, not only that, it is likely that we will be on our own financially as far as where we will have to stay until the house is done. There probably will be no hotel or whatever, because naturally we have to fight the power at every single step. Bill will lose all those weeks of work, and we will literally have no place to live. This means in all likelihood we will be staying at Grandma's house in So Cal. Not terrible, we love her, I love her house, and I truly love spending time with her. She is SUCH a special person....but it is hot down there in the summer, and we will be far away, so any decisions re: the house or lawyers etc will have to be made while we are like 17 hours away. Oh and we probably have to sell the van so those 17 hours will be driven in a teeny Toyota, with a four year old and a dog.

I am from MICHIGAN and ask anyone, I CANNOT deal with heat of any kind. I just CANNOT. I turn into this horrible beast in the heat and it is truly terrible. Seriously I try to be as nice as I can but as the temp rises and there is NO RELIEF, I just cannot manage it. I am mean, nasty miserable, horrible....EVEN MORE THAN USUAL. It is really spoiled and immature but I am not denying that. I am not trying to hide it, I just KNOW MYSELF. I am not PROUD of this, but I know my limitations.

I had one goal and that was to make it to July 31 with the crappy AC on the goat farm and now that is going to be delayed in four of the hottest most miserable weeks of the year.

I KNOW there are tons of people who do not have AC and modern conveniences and they so much worse off than I am and I feel like a total ass for complaining, which is just an added bonus really... I mean there are soldiers in Iraq getting limbs blown off, people living in FEMA trailers still three years later, there are people with sick children, or sick relatives and people who are sick themselves. People are losing their jobs, their houses and their lives to predatory lending practices or whatever...

Cap'n Morgan

So I am an idiot, I KNOW, but its gonna be REALLLLLY hard not to start drinking. And I don't really drink. I mean one glass of wine with dinner and I almost pass out asleep. But this might be the time to start.

In order to get through this I am just going to have to suck it up and try to control the things that I CAN BE in control of, which are things like trying hard to be a good mom, going to Bionic Curves, Weight Watchers, packing - Stuff like that. It will be hot, and difficult, but I am going to try to make the best of it and be the drunkest, physically fittest, most effective murderously angry parent in the state of Oregon.

The REAL Edmund Fitzgerald.... probably did not even see it coming...

Edmund Fitzgerald... the boat

Edmund Fitzgerald, the guy.
And Mrs. Fitzgerald.
This poor bastard looks like he is having a really great day... "WOW! They are naming a ship after me??? COOL! AWESOME!"

On the way home from dropping of Spencer to Simply Science Camp today I was listening to Sirius Satellite radio in the van, you know the brand new van that we love but that we have to sell very soon to pay for legal fees? That van. "Whole again..." that's a good one. Anyway...

OF course I was listening to the 70's channel as always and on came this emblematic song of the 1970's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." It was huge in Michigan, and I grew up in Michigan,so of course I listened to all 19 minutes of it....but it got me thinking that get this... that guy Edmund Fitzgerald, whomever he was, probably thought the day they named a ship for him WOW!!! SUPER!!!! That is probably a REALLY great day for him you know? Little did he know that one day it would sink, and then Gordon Lightfoot would write a pretty kooky song about it, a song so very long that people would end up just making fun of it.

Captain Dou***bag and his lame anthem

Let's face it, its not exactly fun to dance to.... I mean, the first 200 times you hear it, it is moving and sad. At the 201st playing of it, it gets old.

Here is the story of the ship. set to the song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iquCHSkmUek

So it got me wondering just who this Edmund Fitzgerald guy really was. SO I looked on Wikipedia, because you KNOW it is ALWAYS correct....

On February 1, 1957, Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin contracted Great Lakes Engineering Works (GLEW), of River Rouge, Michigan, to design and build an ore bulk carrier laker for Northwestern. The contract contained the stipulation that the boat be the largest on the Great Lakes. GLEW laid the keel on August 7 of that year, and some time between then and her christening and launch on June 8, 1958, Northwestern announced their decision to name the boat for their President and Chairman of the Board, Edmund Fitzgerald, whose own father had himself been a lake captain.^[2][3]

Over 15,000 people attended the Fitzgerald's launch. The event was troublesome. When Mrs. Edmund Fitzgerald went to christen the boat by smashing a champagne bottle over the bow, it took her three swings to break the bottle. The launch was delayed 36 minutes while the shipyard crew struggled to release the keel blocks. Upon launching sideways into the water, the boat crashed violently into a dock.^[4]

I think the saddest part of all was that this wreck WAS a REALLLY sad event, and a lot of people died that day, but the song is so very crappy that it minimizes the event... eclipses it.

This is an article about the real Edmund Fitzgerald and how the sipwreck overshadowed his life.
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=369506

Anyway I found out that old Edmund was an insurance dude. Now I don't feel as bad for him. Just for the men on that ship who died, and their families, who will be forever immortalized by Gordon Lightfoot. Now that is the real tragedy, in my opinion.

Simply Science, Packing Panic,

SO now we have like 25 days left on the Goat Farm, we do still have to get everything packed into the POD fro transport to our still as yet unfinished house. What will make this a little easier is that Spencer is at SIMPLY SCIENCE camp this week until 1 every day. I am not sure how this will differ from the science he does all the time at that preschool, but he loves it all so he will probablyhave fun. His buddy Dylan T will be ther for sure. I assume they will go on nature walks touch goldfish learn about nature and the life cycle etc. Spencer talked to us endlessly about lifecycles this year. He asked us constantly about what thing do and do not have life cycles. Does a house have a life cycle? A popsicle? Do Dogs have life cycles?

Well I know a house does. At least ours did.

We may not be able to move into the house right on the 31st of July. It might not be ready and we have decided that we will just get everything out of the goat farm, pack it into the pod,. have the POD moved to the in front of the house and then go on a road trip for like a week.

I'd like to type more but Spencer is at Day Camp and I need to go enjoy the silence. And read my Vanity Fair. That kid NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER stops talking. its like a running monologue from sun rise to sunset, and even after the sun sets he is still talking. If he runs out of stuff to say then he just starts singing.

I am pretty sure the idea vacation for me would be a vacation from him. Seriously from the dog the goat, the kid everyone... I need a REAL vacation a SILENT vacation where I do nothing but sleep and read books and magazines and sleep some more. Quietly.

Even Habib is annoying me.. hahha not really but he sent me his new invoice attached to this email today and instead of the invoice it was a picture of some bricks. Did he want to be paid in bricks? I cannot manage bricks, but I do have a shed full of used kitchen cabinets and three used sinks.

Back home from mini vacation, or "STAYCation"

Spencer, all "juiced up," on the toddler version of The Lost Weekend.

It was fun, sort of restful but Spencer was just awful. I mean, I think he is going through a phase he is four, but what a PILL he was!!! Still, we did swim in the pool and stuff. He is still very sweet but he is just reallllly acting up these days. One thing I know was different and I am not sure this makes a difference, is that we normally do not give him juice. I used to fill his lunches for preschool with a juice box, some fruit snacks etc.. lots of crap. They all said, these products, that they had a ton of Vitamin C etc you know? But then when you realllly look at it its nonsense... its just a ton of sugar. So this past year we started giving him an 8 oz bottle of water in his lunch, along with some turkey and cheese cut up, OR half a PB & J sandwich that is made with LOW SUGAR Jam and organic bread and Peanut Butter, and some of those 100 calorie packs like baked cheetos, or those 100 cal cookies... this kind of thing. When he wants dessert he eats FRUIT. In fact he is a FRUIT JUNKIE. Seriously.

The new lunches and the changed to his diet seemed to help and he was in a better mood gradually Finally I just banned all those fruit snacks and juice boxes from the house. However, on this trip I did not want to drag all that water with us so I just got a ten pack of Minute Made apple white grape juice boxes. They had no added sugar and no high fructose Corn syrup so I though we were okay.

WRONG. The kid was like a drunk on a bender with these things!!! He never gets juice anymore and he went a little nuts. He was a total crab, he drank like eight of them and he was at his worst behavior!!!

It did not help that it took us 3 hours to drive the 37 miles to Vancouver, WA on Thursday. This is because are you ready for this????

http://blog.oregonlive.com/breakingnews/2008/07/crash_shuts_down_interstate_20.html

A guy from CANBY I guess ROBBED a BANK then made the police chase him then finally crashed and get this.. they CLOSED DOWN THE ENTIRE NORTH BOUND I-205 We had to get off, go around the city, pick up the I-5 and then of course got stuck in THAT traffic too. We spent like over an hour just sitting on the Morrison Bridge. NIGHTMARE.

http://www.koin.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=701674AE-F0EB-4347-88C7-5682641A2BAE&gsa=true

I guess no one was hurt in the crashes, but what an IDIOT. Oops I cannot say IDIOT anymore.. I can just hear Spencer... "Idiot is a bad word, Mommy."

It is good to be back, even to the Goat Farm. Although it is time now to call an end to hard Hat Harry for awhile Spencer actually recited the DVD to us all weekend. We saw a truck full of logs and he says, "MOMMY LOOK! A truck full of freshly sawn logs is heading to the saw mill to be cut into smaller pieces for use in the lumber industry!"

Wow. That was very very frightening. No more Hard Hat Harry for a while.

FOUND!!!!!! BILL FOUND IT!!!!

You cannot really see it well here with my crappy camera phone, but here it is. IT IS BACK!!!!

Bill found my engagement ring just now. It was under the bed, though I have NO IDEA how it got there. WOW that was scary. I looked up the price to buy a new one (not that we were gonna, PROBABLY NOT) but it said that one was like 7 or 8 K. That is not an expensive ring to some people maybe, and its maybe not even a lot of money to a lot of people, but it is a LOT to spend to replace one piece of jewelry. That is like a YEAR of some private schools (in the Lower School at least), or the payoff on the Toyota, or lots of other stuff.

WOW. THAT IS A huge relief. We will be gone two days and I am trying to NOT bring the computer. I hope everyone has a safe fun exciting and enjoyable 4th of July!!!!!

Gobs of Knobs. 4th of July, Critters.

Ever wanted to know what 80 knobs looked like?

Today I had to go to Home Depot and buy knobs or drawer pulls or whatgever it was going to be for alllll the cabinets in the house. I was looking forward to this trip, because the knobs and drawer pulls are one little place tobe a little creative. However when I got there, I sat down in my office, (the lawn furniture dept of Home Depot - we spend a LOT of time at HD and this is where I hang when we need to make big decisions, such as arguing over exterior paint, or what lawn mower to buy. I tell Bill "Let's go to the office and talk about it") for a minute to go over my list and add up just how many drawer pulls vs. knobs I would need. When I did the math it turns out I have over 74 cabinets to put knobs on. SEVENTY FOUR. .... WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN????

Then I thought about getting just the T Bar ones we liked for maybe the KITCHEN ONLY and then you know get the cheaper ones for the other rooms. That was not going to work as there were like 46 of these in the kitchen alone. Each one of those really nice T bar handles costs between $4 - $7 EACH... EACH!!!!!!!!!! If I had to get like 46 of them, that is a LOT of money. Plus I would have had to figure out you know which cabinets were drawers and what sizes they would need, and then which ones needed longer handles and which ones needed medium and short etc and which ones needed only drawer pulls. I owuld have been there ALL DAY. As it was I could not even deal with being there while I was there - It was SO HUMID inside that store it was just GROSS!!!!

I could not just neglect my assignment, no matter how much i wanted to look at washing machines... I had a mission.

Then I saw them... out of the corner of my eye... TEN PACKS of really cool knobs, all shaped like footballs. They felt really good too, like when you would pull the drawer or whatever open there were no ridges or whatever and they were not at all as expensive.

Lot's o Knobs.

I strolled over to the kitchen displays and looked at all of the knobs on those places. They were fine, but even thought they were REALLLLLy expensive NONE of them were as nice as the ones that were in the bulk packages.

SO there they are. I bought 80 of them... When I got home I showed Bill one box and I asked him how he liked them, and he said that they were just OKAY. I said, "Well, I am reallly sorry to hear that, because I have 7 more boxes of these in the car."

Turtle drawer pull, going in Spencer's bathroom, eventually

I am sure there will look nice. I found some cute turtle ones online for Spencer's bathroom, but I am not going to order them now, because we are not going to be here at this house much longer and we cannot ship to the Sploded house yet.

How the knobs will look. Maybe.

Habib was there today, and things are shaping up.

Still no sign of my engagement ring. We have looked and looked and looked.

Tomorrow we are going out of town (35 miles out of town, exactly) just to get away for the 4th of July. No one in our neighborhood is in town this year, so the big S. Sycamore 4th of July Spectacular is off. We are just going to stay in a hotel for two nights, and this place has an outdoor pool and stuff. We figured we can swim in the pool with Spencer and teach him more swimming stuff. its not a big deal but it will be good to just GET OUT OF TOWN for a bit. We cannot be gone too long, as Spencer has another camp starting on Monday "SIMPLY SCIENCE CAMP" but also Bill has a couple of instruments due to go out, and we have house crap to do.

I am freaking out here right now because I am alone in the house with Spencer, who is asleep in his fire engine bed. Bill went with Steve to his weekly Blues Jam at Duff's. They usually get back late and I SWEAR I heard something on the roof just now..SERIOUSLY. Like a big animal thing moving around up there...

OK NOW the thing that was up there is like whimpering outside on the deck.. Seriously... I do not need this. I cannot see what it is, because it is dark but also because I am just refusing to look. Who do you call with something like this???? The Vet? The Cops?? I know the Police would just laugh at me, like everyone else here in "The Country" does... Just like those weird Amish 4H kids at the Wilco Farm store that one time.

I REALLLLLLY need to get off this Goat Farm.

Spencer did say something funny today though. I think they have been learning about how to save the Earth in his Preschool Day Camp recently. He was that I had accidentally left some fan on for longer than I should have and turned it off and told me "Mommy the world is not going to be happy if you leave this fan on all night. You have to shut it off so the world will not be sad."

Well I have still a bunch of laundry to do to get ready for our Mini Trip, and I have to locate Bill's bathing suit among other things.

Did I mention that Oregon is a state full of total pyromaniacs? The first 4th of July I spent in our neighborhood I was pretty much under my bed the entire time. I was like "INCOMING!!!!!"
These people go INSANE over fireworks. They sell them everywhere. I mean on at least three corners in Canby is a fireworks tent with a sign saying who the proceeds of the sale are benefiting. The one I drive by all the time goes to the Canby High School Band. People sit around and grill on their front lawns, and then sit outside and wait for the fireworks at Trost Elementary to start. However, before they start everyone lights off their own.. In our neighborhood we all usually know the plan and so we start all buying some and then giving them to either Dave or Steve or one of those guys and we all pool them. Then on the 4th they light them all off one by one and the kids go insane. We just usually get the ones from Costco and give them to Mormon Dave. They come in a big box and I have no idea what they are or how to light them.
They put them all together, and take turns lighting them and one guy runs the hose to stop any residual fires and its pretty loud but kind of fun.

However, no one is gonna be home this year! Policeman Steve is going to visit his buddy from HS in So Cal (actually that guy is the actor Patrick Warburton - PUDDY!!!! They grew up together, and they are still friends and Puddy has a cabin they go to), Lees when to Mexico, Meads are going to Eugene, Mormon Dave is going somewhere I cannot remember and we technically do not live there yet. SO we will spend the 4th in beautiful exotic Vancouver Washington.

Tiny Town

Picture from the store of TINY TOWN CARPET. This is going in Spencer's room. He picked it out.

Sample of a tree in Tiny Town, which has a country scene, an airport, train tracks, roads, a city, a train station - all kinds of stuff he can run his little cars on.

We ordered the rest of the flooring today and Spencer got kids carpeting in his room called TINY TOWN. He loves it. He was really mad that we did not let him put it in the entire house.

http://www.kidcarpet.com/product.php?pID=51


Still no ring. I think it may be gone for good. We looked ALLL DAY.

Breaking News

It looked sort of like this, but bigger and more linear, and the diamond is not "champagne" colored.

I lost my engagement ring. I have three: My original wedding band, which has emeralds and diamonds, a diamond eternity annversary band and then my engagement ring, which is an east/west bezel set 14k yellow gold set oval diamond. Guess which one is missing? The engagement ring, of course.

Here is the weird thing. I take them all off at the same time and put them in the SAME PLACE EVERY NIGHT. I have a watch, a necklace and the three rings I wear every day. I rarely wear them separate: like the rings without the watch etc.

Took all three off last night, this morning the watch, necklace and two rings were there but no diamond. We have looked EVERYWHERE.

I would guess that that ring was probably at least $5K TEN YEARS ago. There probably is NOT going to be another one if this one is gone. I'd say the chances of that are zero to minus negative zero.

It sucks. I really loved that ring. But this is about "par for the course" as far as this year is going.

Decisions, delays, determination

Rocks, Exterior paint, flooring, appliances..... these are just a few of the things that have to get done before we can move into the house and GUESS WHAT????? It might NOT be ready on time.

You know what? I am moving in ANYWAY. Seriously. I don't care if I have to pitch a tent in the back yard.

Tomorrow we have a busy day of taking a bunch of floor samples back to the floor place then Spencer's swimming, then Kinder Kempo, then WW, then a bunch of other house stuff. This needs to END.

Modern Conveniences, Fatal Appliance Attraction, Gator pool, Quiznos marathon

Donut and Spencer, in the Gator Pool AWESOME!!! It even has a FOUNTAIN!

Yesterday, on my 437th day not living in my own house, we left the Goat Farm for a spell and headed to my friend Siri's house. The kids played in this cute little alligator pool in the yard and we all had lunch and later watched a movie. It was really fun even though it was 235 degrees outside. Inside the AC was cranked and it was very nice. We all had a lot of fun. We watched a movie called Mr. Bean's Holiday. Bill, Siri and Steve are all MR BEAN fans, I am not so much into those kid of goofy slapsticky kinds of movies but I had fun.

The real revelation for me was that we had ice for our drinks, and that ice was made by a machine.

back 300 years ago when we lived in our house I vaguely remember that we had one of these newfangled ice making machines right there in our refrigerator box. However I have not seen in on SO VERY LONG that I did not anticipate my emotional reaction when I happened upon Siri's. I needed more ice for my drink and a refill on the water. She told me to help myself and so I wandered over to her newfangled modern kitchen, and There it Was.... Right there in the door of her refrigerator...

Miracle of Modern Technology: Ice AND water.. through the door!

First of all COLD WATER comes out when you push one of the buttons...COLD POTABLE WATER... Not GOAT WATER, not stinky smelly malodorous sulfur filled water but WATER you can DRINK.. AND IT IS COLD!!!!!

THEN if that is not enough, you PUSH A BUTTON and ICE COMES OUT!!!!!!

SHOCKING. I almost wept. I predict that when we finally do move back in, in 32 days, that I will want to leave the kitchen to go to sleep but I doubt I will be able to. Remember that scene in FATAL ATTRACTION when Glenn Close just sits there in her white apartment turning the light on, off on, off, on, off, on, off...........That will be me, but instead of turning the lights on and off I will be pushing the buttons for the ice and water. ice, water, water, ice, water, ice, water, ice, water.

Me in 32 days. Ice, water, ice, water, ice, water, ice, water, ice, water....

SO yesterday it was like 150 degrees in Oregon. Habib said on Friday that he might stop by the house and do the countertops, because that is when his friend was available to help him but I told him he should take Saturday off, especially when it is going to be 150 degrees. However we swung by the ouse to get the mail at 4 PM after Siri's house and GUESS WHO WAS THERE??? and all the counters are in. THe look GREAT there are a few little hiccups as far as fit etc, but for most part they are IN. It was a huge surprise and I would have hugged those guys if we had not all been so sweaty.

SO we have decided to go with some bamboo floors downstairs and maybe some oak upstairs but it will be engineered wood upstairs. I told Bill he could put gravel upstairs as long as I could move in on time.

Maybe our BAMBOO. This is not our house, though. I am not sure who those people are.

Also I have included some blurry pictures of Spencer in Quizno's where he is running, eating at his own table (he insisted) and covered in cookie. Just because I CAN.

Spencer sprints through Quizno's, though I cannot remember why.



Spencer eats his Quizno's at HIS OWN table.. he insisted. Well, he is 4.


Spencer v Cookie

Weird stuff, Tile, Amy v Gopher, The Nun in the back seat. Golly Gee! I'd be happier without those darn gophers!

Amy the Dawg versus.....

Rambo the Gopher
Its pretty clear that Amy won. Ewww.

I might have mentioned this before but I am SO READY to leave the Goat Farm. There is a lot of weird stuff going on, and I am pretty sure the goat is to blame. The Economy is bad. Gas prices are very high, People are painting their houses all kinds of weird colors all over the place. According to Osler the Supreme Court is making weird decisions lately and get this yesterday my dog ATE a Gopher. I realllly need to get out of here. Everything on this Goat Farm completely grosses me out and I really do not know how I am going to make it through the next 34 days here but i will try. How much can a person take? Frogs, goats, Cow smells, the giant TurdMaster dog next door, animal noises, smelly water, Amy coming home with a duck in her mouth, skunks, roadkill, I have HAD IT with this Wild Kingdom. I NEVER EVER thought I would say this but I MISS THE SUBURBS. Its all just getting to me now.. the smelly water, the smelly air, the grass all over the place, those yutzes next door with their stupid four wheeler things The cows and the llamas across the street... 10,000 frogs in the creek on the other side of the barn... and now, Amy goes 15 rounds with a gopher. I just I am just freaking LOSING IT. If I never ever set foot on a farm again it will be too soon. I don't even want to go to the zoo ever again or even the Cider Mill this fall. I am SERIOUS. The worst things that ever happen in the Burbs are like the occasional loud party and maybe some freaking raccoons get in your garbage. I am pretty sure the dog will not come home with a wild animal. I am sure you do not have to worry about your dog getting into the neighbor;'s chicken coop. DO you know that we stored our brand new range hood that we had not even installed yet when the house blew we stored it all this time in thebarn right? Thinking it would be safe there , and we pulled it out last week and it is covered in BIRD POOP??? How the heck do you get bird poop off a stainless steel range hood? And why should you HAVE TO? And WHY, baby, are there birds INSIDE the BARN>?????? Don't the birds live OUTSIDE???? How else would my dog find them and bring them home if they lived in the barn?

I really don't need this.


But there has been a LOT of progress on the house. The tile in all three bathrooms is all done. Kitchen etc is getting started and soon other floors will be in. Some appliances are ordered, lights are ordered, The driveway is gone, and ready for new concrete. Interior doors are in. Lots of stuff is getting done. We should be able to move in right on schedule.

Going to Art Camp AND swimming this week has been a LOT of hassle and we have to pull him out of Art Camp early to get him to swimming on time. SO we have decided that after this swimming thing ends at the end of next week that we will hold off on any more swimming classes until August, after all of the camps are done. He has three more after this week's. Besides, we have all of this moving and legal and building stuff to do, it is hard to coordinate all of this stuff. I am all for keeping the kid busy in the simmer and I do think these classes are a much better situation for him than last summer when I put him in Learning Tree. We really had few options last summer, as I was working, and also ther are not too many classes in the summer for three year olds.. Most start at age 4. This year, he is four and he can do a lot more of them.

SO he LOVES swimming and he can go back to it in August, but for now he has enough with all of the camps and the Kinder Kempo.

Spencer also has a delightful habit now of telling you when you have said a bad word. This is good I guess because I have had to swear a LOT this past year... But honestly We do try try try not to but we have tried substituting words like saying Oh Crap instead and get this He calls us on EVERYTHING "Crap is a bad word, Mommy!!" "Idiot is a bad word, Daddy!"

I get it... you know, Swearing is bad. I get it, but this is like driving around with a nun in the back seat. So NOW it is even "illegal" to say, " Gosh, What the heck is that Idiot doing?" while driving.

Somewhere my mother is laughing at me.

Kempo, Floors, Bionic Curves, Alaska, and St Vincent Hospital, located in a Galaxy Far, Far Away.

Kempo Master Spencer, in Crocs, next to POD.

Yesterday we took Spencer to Art Camp, then Bill and I went to this place where builders send you to pick out appliances and we picked out our cooktop and wall oven. There was a kooky lady there but I do not have time to get into it right now as I have an appointment in a Galaxy Far, Far Away. Then we came back to Art Camp, took him to swimming, watched him do that, and then we went to the house to talk about flooring and then went to Karate and then did more flooring stuff then I had to go to WW and then we finally ate dinner.

This morning I have an MD appointment AGAIN at St Vincent hospital. I like to go there because my doctor is there, it is the furthest possible hospital from my house, and also because my doctor likes to make me get 498 tests a month. So it is extremely convenient. SO that will take up most of my morning. Then I have to meet Siri at Curves and then on Thursday I have to go to Curves again because they have started this new thing at my Curves... I am not sure what the real name of it is, I like to call it Bionic Curves. They have added these little like meter things on all the machines at Curves and if you sign up for this program which is only a little bit extra money a month the machines tell you how you are progressing on your exercise and how you did last time etc and what you need to work on and it s all supposed to make your workout more effective and turn you, eventually, into Jamie Sommers, The Bionic Woman.

However in order to do this thing at Curves you have to have an initial appointment, whcih lasts an hour where you go thru with a Curves person all the machines and they test you or something and set you all up Then every time after that when you go you have this little key thing that you bring with you. You take it with you to every machine and plug it in and then exercise and it has all your data or something. Then at the end you put it in another machine thingy and it give you a report which I think you can also look up online. Its very very scientific, high tech and complicated, but its totally worth it to me if at the end I can lift several cars with one arm like they have promised I will be able to do.

However there is a twist. There is this woman who runs Curves who owns our Canby Franchise and her name is Michelle. Apparently she met a guy and is moving to Alaska to marry him. She is leaving July 3d. She has owned the Curves the whole time and the new person will probably have no clue how to do the Bionic Curves assessment thing so i need to get my one hour appointment with her before she leaves for Alaska.

I am not sure how she met this guy from Alaska but I do know a girl that had a choce of where to go to school and chose Alaska because she thought she would meet men there. She did go and met lots of men but when she came back she had only this to say: " The odds are good, but the goods are odd." Which means that, yes there are a LOT of available men in Alaska and no single women, but maybe there is a reason a lot of them are single...

Spencer is thinking, "Mommy PLEASE stop taking my picture. You are EMBARRASSING ME!!!" Sorry pal, that's my JOB. I will be embarrassing you forever, get used to it.

ANYWAY I am late for my appointment in a Galaxy Far Far Away, so I have to go. Since I have no news to report and I don't have time to get into jmy tale of this realllllly kooky lady we met yesterday picking out our cooktop and wall oven who reallllllllly LOVES appliances, I will just put up some pictures of Spencer in his Karate uniform and hit the road.

SENSAI JENNY. Spencer is the one second from the right.

Harried, Hurried and Hard Hat Harry: HURRAY!

Tuesdays at my house are INSANE.

At 9 AM The Boy has to report to Creative Arts Camp, where he will finish painting his bird house and ruining his clothing. Then, even though Creative Arts Camp does not end until 1PM We have to get him at noon, get him all naked in the car and change him into his bathing suit, shark shirt, goggles and swim shoes (all of which he INSISTS on wearing - You Cannot be too careful in the pool, you know) and get himt o swimming class at 12:30. He can finish his lunch on the way in the car, but I make sure to give hima lunch that has a lot of little things in it instead of big stuff, so he can save some for later, and also he will not be too full and sink to the bottom of the pool....

At 1 Pm swimming is over. We will dry him off, get him dressed and then realize we have once again forgotten the comb, and thus, Spencer will spend the rest of Tuesday with uncombed Swimmer's Hair. He will come home and build with his blocks and watch his Construction movie that I WISH WISH WISH I had never bought him, starring the most annoying person on EARTH, Hard Hat Harry.

Hard Hat Harry is a Genie who wears a construction outfit and lives in a thermos bottle until these two kids come along and free him from the bottle. Then he grants them wishes, and of course they wish to see how houses are built or what lumberjacks do all day. Spencer knows this movie by heart. I am not even exxaggerating he can recite it. How sad is that? But thanks to Hard Hat Harry, whenever we go downtown or see something being built Spencer will say something like "That is a TOWER CRANE, Mommy. it has Stabilizers on the sides." Or "Mommy, that dump truck over there weighs over 100 tons!!"

Hard Hat Harry. He's a tool.

I HATE Hard Hat Harry. I am convinced he is some kind of a voodoo artist who has cast a spell on my child. I would like to hide that DVD forever and ever and maybe bury it and then dig it up and feed it to the goat. Of course, this is Spencer's FAVORITE movie and he loves to sing the songs about he the crane, and the lumberjacks and all the other stupid stuff.

We may have to meet with the builder tomorrow, which may spare us from HHH.

Anyway, after Swimming and playing for a bit he changes in to his GI and heads to Kinder Kempo. After that, I drag him to my Weight Watcher's meeting and then we pretty much Call it a Day.

Stylish Hair, Stolen Driveway, Stoned Painters, Swimming Fish, Silly Shoes

When the rain finally stops and Summer in Oregon starts, many things happen: The Corn Festival, the Clackamas County Fair, the Goat show, the Rodeo, The Corn Lady opens for business, All the U-PICK farms open (where you go to pick blueberries, blackberries, marionberries, raspberries, olalleberries, oslerberries, discoberries, strawberries, lingonberries, obamaberries, iplawberries and corncannonberries) PLUS.... People get realllly crazy and everyone paints their houses.

You have to, because you only have about three days in June before Monsoon Season starts again, so you have to act fast. In case you are not from Oregon, Monsoon Season lasts from about June 12 to June 9th. Its a lot of rain, but those two days of sunshine a year here are totally worth it.

This year in our neighborhood, there is truly some kind of an epidemic... Maybe its because gas is like 7 dollars a gallon and no one can afford to drive anywhere except to Home Depot to get more paint. Or maybe they figure they cannot sell their houses in this economy, so they had better make them look nice and enjoy them while they are living. Or maybe The Corn Lady used a little too much fertilizer on her crops this year, which are directly adjacent to my subdivision, and the fumes drifted over here and made everyone go insane, or temporarily blind, or perhaps both. Its had to say, but people in our neighborhood are going CRAZY with paint this year.

The biggest trend is DARK colors, especially dark green and dark royal blue. ALso everyone is using this paint that ir really shiny instead of the normal flat kind lately. Also I see a lot of houses that have not one color and trim but like FOUR DIFFERENT colors trim one color, Mian body another then like door a third, and then you know the wood stuff near the roof is yet another color, and so on. Oh and NOT JUST dark blue, there is Very dark green, Very dark brown, Very dark red - you name it. There is an almost black house next door to our old house right now, and honestly it LOOKS OKAY!!! I saw a purple house today. To each their own, it is very cloudy here, and maybe we do need to brighten up the place a bit....

But then I saw this house:

Hail to the Victors Valiant

Wow. Maybe they are U of Michigan Football fans? You cannot see it here but the trim is bright yellow. I dunno... GO BLUE!!!!!

Anyway Ours is probably going to be THIS color we have almost totally decided:

We are gonna paint our house this color grey.. the one on the bottom

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I KNOW!!!! But what can I say?
I love gray, and I have had ENOUGH excitement this year.


Also we got to the Sploded house today and someone had stolen the driveway....

Hey, Who Stole my Driveway????

I guess they are getting ready to replace the concrete and that is one the last big hurdles.

Today Spencer started Creative Arts Day Camp at his preschool. He had fun, but we had to make a mad dash to swimming. There are kids from his preschool in his art camp this week, including his little buddy Dylan T (one of the three Dylans at his school, Dylan T. is the Dylan with two moms.) Both of Dylan's moms are very nice, but I can only ever remember one of their names. I think HEATHER is the one who drives the Camry, and The Other One drives the Volvo wagon. When they switch cars I really get in trouble.

Also I got a hair cut today. I chopped it allll off. SO far no one has even noticed. Not even Bill, and he was there. I like it though. I love having long hair and throwing it all up into a bun with a scrunchie, but it is not a good look for me, really, and Bill hates it. He calls it my "Old Lady Bun." I got into the habit of it in Nursing school, because we all had to wear our hair up off our collars.

SO anyway. I went back to my blunt bobb. I almost went as far as the Victoria Beckham hairdo, but I was afraid I would look more like SCARY Spice than Posh Spice. SO now I look like my mother. Which is not bad I guess.

Oh and Spencer got the funniest thing at Walgreen's yesterday: It is this fish light... it was like 10 bucks but he LOVES it. it lights up and then the fish "SWIM" inside. It really does look like an aquarium, sort of... He sleeps with it on at night.

Fish light OFF

Fish Light ON, Fish are "swimming"

Also yesterday I got him two more Fake Jibbets for his Fake Crocs: A turtle, and a Penguin. The turtle is because Spencer is my turtle, and the penguin is so he can be inspired to reach his goal of joining the Canby Penguins.

I am not sure if it is ok for boys to wear jibbits on their crocs but he is only four... so who cares?

Well, that is about all the news that is fit to print today.

Fish Scales, and Play Dates, and Quiznos, OH MY!!!

Today we met Siri and Steve and Travis at the park and the kids played and Siri and I went over our lists and I refined mine and got a LOT of new ideas from hers. it was great however one of hers was "Go camping in the back yard." Uhmmmm NO. I hate camping. If Bill wants to camp outside with all the bugs etc that is fine, but that will not be on the MOMMY list. Yes I went to ELEVEN YEARS of Summer camp.... It was all in DORMS. We lived in DORMS. We had overnight camping trips like four times a summer and they were unbearable and mosquito filled and we played truth or dare and and ate gross hot dogs cooked on sticks and S'mores and stole each other's underwear and sleeping bags and went canoing etc... but I did NOT LOVE it and I would never ELECT to do that. Everyone says camping is fun I am missing out. Ok I believe you. You go, have fun. I sprayed so much OFF on myself during summer camp all those years that if I even ever get even a small whiff of it I get flashbacks... No thanks.

Anyway We all went to Quiznos for dinner after the park and I had two of those little SAMMIES things. The kids had fun. Some restaurants in Canby are cool with kids and that is one of them.

When we went to pick out all the lights last week, I loved this stained glass fixture that was in the showroom but I did not even ask about it because I thought it would be so expensive, I did not even really want to hear the price. When we had looked at every single light on the World Wide Web and still not found anything we liked, I finally asked about it. I know it is not everyone's taste in fact I am sure of it... because the guy was like I will give you a HUGE discount on it... because I have had it a while and it was not a big hit...

SO it LOOKS LIKE this lamp I mean it is this EXACT fixture


BUT mine has like blue and greenish fish scales - more blue than green.... so ours is more like THIS color:

And I also got sconces for the walls, two of them in the same color as above but they will look something like this:

They are a little fussy but what else goes with my bargain chandelier? I am pretty sure mine will be turned UP instead of down and also that they will not have the little flowery things... I discussed that with the guy.

SO I am not sure what I was going for here but I do love stained glass a LOT. I have an Oak Hutch and china cabinet thing that I got two years ago from Craig's list for like the lowest price it was awesome that I love, and we will get a new dining table to match Maybe later on from this Amish Workbench place in Aurora - the next town over. Or maybe Craig;s again I have had great luck with furniture on there.

SO I have to go now and go watch other people cook stuff on the Food Network and PBS. I tape certain shows each Saturday... Stuff like Everyday Food, Everyday Baking, Caprial and John's Kitchen, America's Test Kitchen, Primal Grill, Barefoot Contessa, Nigella Lawson, and then also DIY stuff like Flip this House and Hometime, This Old House etc Stuff like this. Its fun to watch other people do really cool hard stuff. Then On Saturday night I always Tivo. 48 Hours Mystery. I also like this one show The Next Food Network Star... and of course this one show called Deliver Me abotu these OB/Gyns in California I have NO IDEA why I even watch that one... . Nothing like a little Cooking, Childbirth, Home Improvement and Murder to brighten up a Weekend.

The Next Food network Star is Hysterical There is this one INSANE woman whos cooking theme or whatever is "Beautiful Basics" whatever that means.. She is INSANE and really really Kooky. I think her name is LISA:

LISA of the "The Next Food Network Star."

Also a new season of Kathy Griffin and FLIPPING OUT has started on Bravo. SO I am all set.

I may have a problem.... But this year, other people's lives at least LOOK more fun than mine. I mean, I have yet to see a Goat at Kathy Griffin's house.

Goldfish, Gators, Grout, Gi, Going Crazy, Art Camp & Getting a List

Canby Penguin....

Spencer ended his second swimming session today after two weeks of going every day. He is still a GOLDFISH and has not graduated up to the GOLDFISH II group yet, but he has made a lot of progress since he started a few months ago. He got his second little certificate, and it has the things he needs to concentrate on next, but he is progressing toward his goal of becoming a competient enough swimmier to be accepted in to the Canby Penguins.
http://www.ci.canby.or.us/Departments/swim/penguin.htm
This is like the Junior swim team of Canby. Then after a while in there he can maybe be a Canby Gator, which is like this hard core swim team of Canby,
http://www.canbygators.com/
and they compete all over the place. It is huge to be a Gator, but you have to be a Penguin first. To get to be a Penguin you have to be able to swim I think one entire lap and some other stuff. He is very determined and we intend to keep signing him up for lessons as long as he wants them he loves it and he cannot wait to get tot he pool every day. it has been a bit of a sacrifice for us because Monday thru Friday he HAS to be there at 12:30. That kind of breaks up our day, and he has to be there. I think its only for the summer and then when preschool starts again he can go back to twice a week at night. Anyway...

Canby Gators..

He also loves his Kinder Kempo class but he is not as enthusiastic about practicing it, and though he has had only one lesson he is not what you would call a NATURAL at it. However he has his GI ( Karate suit) now and we are ready to go. We have a lot to deal with packing for the move, and building the house and all the other stuff so we have not gotten around to gymnastics classes yet. We think that should wait to the fall. For now he has a lot. the Kempo, the swimming and next week on Monday - Fri starts the first of four week long Day Camps at his preschool. This one is CREATIVE ARTS camp. Though it is at his preschool it will be a different staff and different kids and we hope he makes new friends and has fun. He is doing four of them and though we are happy to do them its going to make for a crazy couple of weeks: MON - FRI he has the camp from 9 to 1, AND he needs to pack a lunch for that, BUT he has to leave the camp everyday at noon to get to swimming on time. Then Swimming at 12:30, M- F and THEN on TUESDAYS, it is time for KEMPO with SENSAI JENNY. Tuesdays are going to be INSANE but actually everyday is going to be a little nuts having to get to the preschool camp exactly at noon and get him into his suit and his goggles and all of the swimming stuff, and then off to the class... YIKES.

Today after swimming we also went to the house and Habib and his wife Dee were finishing the work. They have done a lot of tiling in places and its not all done but its enough for now so that we can move in. They have done an amazing job and though my pictures are reallllly bad here are some of the things so far:

This is the little desk area of the kitchen and the pantry next to it. That hole in the wall to the right is where the wall oven thing will go. Also no handles on cupboards yet.

This is the kooky flat rocks from Bali I picked for the tiny bathroom downstairs. I like how it looks so organic and weird. The rocks are really flat and smooth and it is a reallly small bathroom. Something like 15 or 20 Sq feet total. this is a bad picture but there are no lights in the house

This is the tile in the laundry room, which is also very small. We just used some leftover tile since it was so small. It came out really great looking actually. Of course this is another terrible phone camera picture...

Ok this is the livingroom and the naked stairs... but honestly, the wall color here is LAZY GREY However it looks more blue than grey but I still think it might look great when we have other stuff, like furniture, molding, floors, lights stuff like that.

Also: My very good friend Siri is a teacher, and she has the summers off. She has made a list of things like 33 things or something that she wants to do with her three year old son this sumer. I LOVED this idea and I am now creating my own list. Mine will be shorter, and I am planning to get some ideas from her list,since I am not from oregon and I do not know all of the things to do here. However I have at least started the list and I hope to do at least some of these things this summer with Spencer.

In no real order, here is my list:

1. Take a boat tour of Portland... Every time we go downtown Spencer sees the boats and wants to go on one. He loves seeing what he calls "the city" so this might be fun.
2. OMSI to see that Dinosaur thing... http://www.omsi.edu/
3. The Children's Museum http://www.portlandcm.org/
4. To our neighbor's Dairy Farm
5. To a movie... HOPEFULLY a GOOD Kids movie will come out soon. SO far I have not found one I want him to see...
6. This train thing that goes to some place I think near Mt Hood or something... have to research that one.... I think it is THIS: http://www.trainweb.org/oerhs/wst.htm
7. TO the coast, again but this time to Tillamook to see the lighthouse AND the Cheese factory
8. Maybe back to the aquarium on the coast, but we have already been there once this year
9. Tours of places to see how stuff is made.... he loves seeing this kind of thing, and I have no idea what is around here but we can figure out something like this to do as one of the things...

SO who knows? Maybe this is too ambitious for this summer when we have all that stuff going on, but I would like to do a FEW at least. Our life has been insane and we get so wrapped up in schedules and preschool and all of this, we sometimes forget that he is going to only be this age ONCE and we have so much fun we could be having with him.