Nerdy White Guys Are On the Case.

Well, today we met with the Structural Engineer, and they are going to come out after the house is torn down (Supposedly this Tuesday it will start....) and see if the foundation is okay. However because they are really nice guys (and not all that nerdy, really) they came out today to see it BEFORE it is torn down. We also gave them a set of plans, and a cd full of pictures. They gave us also tips on how to carefully proceed to tear it down in a way to not damage the foundation any further. If the foundation is bad, which we hope it is not, things are gonna get a whole lot worse. but I already live on a goat farm with brown carpet and brown well water...so maybe I am ready.

The guy was actually really nice. A LOT of stuff is out of the house most things that were even bolted down are gone now too, things that we may reuse in the garage or something such as cabinets, etc. They were able to remove the granite from the kitchen and we will TRY to reuse it in the kitchen but we doubt it will work, BUT worth a try. If not, Bill will use it in the garage as a work bench etc.

Supposedly tear down is this Tuesday.

We got a message from Missy the Beagle's new family that they really love her and she is a sweet dog and its working out so far and they really really like her. We liked her too, when she was the only dog in the house. Then she started eating sticks of butter, peeing in the dining room every day, running away constantly, turning over the garbage three times a day and terrorizing the neighbor's Llamas and chickens etc. We are very very happy that she is very very happy. We hope we never get the call to take her back. If those people call one day to say please come and get her it will take all the self control I have to not pretend that I do not speak English. Call-a back-a Please and Thank You por Favor Grazi sayonara. Ou Est La Plage? Regardez Le Neige! Voulez-vous de Beuerre? I realllllllllly disliked that animal at the end and honestly life is SO peaceful without her.

of course this could be because the other dog lives in her crate right now and hops around on three legs like twice a day. Amy is doing great actually and we are so grateful that she is still with us. SO many times when it is dog v car, things do not turn out well at all and the very worst thing happens... She still STILL smells a bit of skunk but it is slowly fading.

The goat farm is Freezing, and this house apparently was last insulated in the mesozoic era. This house is freezing like 24 hours a day. Of course it is really cold here right now, even the goat's water is a block of ice every morning and we have to go out and thaw it for him daily.

Just doing exploded house stuff, hanging out, getting ready for mediation and whatever... Oh and I have made a large investment in Frozen Foods. No one likes my cooking anyway.

MASTER THESPIAN FRIDAY: Guess the QUOTES

MASTER THESPIAN FRIDAY:

This week it is: NAME THE MOVIES THIS QUOTES ARE FROM:

1.

General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, about, uh, 35 minutes ago, General Jack Ripper, the commanding general of, uh, Burpelson Air Force Base, issued an order to the 34 B-52's of his Wing, which were airborne at the time as part of a special exercise we were holding called Operation Drop-Kick. Now, it appears that the order called for the planes to, uh, attack their targets inside Russia. The, uh, planes are fully armed with nuclear weapons with an average load of, um, 40 megatons each. Now, the central display of Russia will indicate the position of the planes. The triangles are their primary targets; the squares are their secondary targets. The aircraft will begin penetrating Russian radar cover within, uh, 25 minutes.
President Merkin Muffley: General Turgidson, I find this very difficult to understand. I was under the impression that I was the only one in authority to order the use of nuclear weapons.
General "Buck" Turgidson: That's right, sir, you are the only person authorized to do so. And although I, uh, hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like, uh, General Ripper exceeded his authority.

2.

Franck Eggelhoffer: Armani don't make polyester.

3.

Chip Douglas: I forgive you. I only hope my neurologist will feel the same.

4.

Tiger Tanaka: Permit me to introduce myself. I am Tanaka. Please call me Tiger.
James Bond: If you're Tanaka, then how do you feel about me?
Tiger Tanaka: [the code response] I... love you.
James Bond: Well, I'm glad we got that out of the way.

5.

Andie: You know your talking like that just because I'm going out with Blane
Duckie: His name is Blane? Oh! That's a major appliance, that's not a name!

6.

Mr. Furious: I'm a Pantera's box you do not wanna open.
Casanova Frankenstein: It is "Pandora."
Mr. Furious: Please don't correct me, it sickens me.

7.

Jake: That Night Train's a mean wine.

8.

Harris: Let us just say I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.

9.

Jack Lucas: Did you lose your mind all at once, or was it a slow, gradual process?

10.

Ed Exley: All I ever wanted was to measure up to my father.
Bud White: Now's your chance. He died in the line of duty, didn't he?

We are all doing better.

Amy is home from being boarded at the Vet Hospital and she is getting around pretty well on three legs. IF her hip heals as well as they think it will she may not need surgery. The Torfeasors lawyers have come and gone from the house, but its still not torn down yet, but this is in the works. We were able to save the granite, whether it will be usable in the kitchen again or not is debatable but its worth a try, if not, we will use it as a workbench in the garage for Bill.

I am busy running around getting records and stuff for the lawyers. Tons of Fun, but as always it could be worse.

WHAT A WEEK.

Okay I admit that I have not even posted ONE TIME in an entire week, but if you only knew what this week was like... you will understand.

On Monday I had to drive alllll over hell dropping stuff at the Lawyer's office, running cable boxes places you name it I was everywhere in my little Toyota. That was Monday night. For dinner that night, instead of cooking because we were all so exhausted we just went to Red Robin. Dumb Idea the night before Weight Watcher's BUT I had a birthday coupon for a free entree that was going to expire in two days. Get this we get there and My friend Siri and Steve and her son Travis are there!!! She and I are in WW together!!! That was fun but things went weird after this.

We had been debating about rehoming (finding a new home for) Missy. yeah I know this is like our 19th dog but Missy was TRULY a HUGE pain in the ass Sher got into everything, tipped over the garbage like three times a day. peed in the family room over and over and over Ran away constantly got into the neighbor's chicken coop, She is a Beagle I guess this is how they are and honeslty they are adorable but she was a complete pain in the ass. We had just about had it with her shenanigans and it was just TOO MUCH STRESS. Amy is a great dog and she is well behaved and we are keeping her for sure.
SO we get home from Red Robin, and Missy runs away again but this time it is dark and Amy follows her. YIKES so Bill goes out looking for mIssy and she hjad found a SKUNK greaaat... so then she comes back and we still cannot find Amy we live in a very busy dark road, and we never let them out together because Amy follows Missy wherever and Missy just follows her nose. BUT Amy snuck out the garage which Bill had open for a bit because we had been unloading the car.

He drives around looking for her, sees her JUST in time to WATCH HER GET HIT BY A CAR. We already lost a dog this way in San Jose, and it was just horrible Poor Banjo, BUT this dog LIVES!!!! SO we scoop her up she is howling in pain, her head is bleeding, we don't know if she is gonna make it alive to the ONLY emergency vet in Tualatin WHICH IS LIKE 15 MILES AWAY.

We scoop up the dog, and Spencer and everyone is upset and Spencer is scared and its nightmarish. OH and she smells like SKUNK. SO we rush her in and they say she has a broken hip at the joint. which is terribly painful and the only treatment is REST. She will not ba able to walk for WEEKS. THen maybe if shes okay after this MAYBE she can get an operation where they replace the socket.

In the meant time I had place an ad for Miss on Craig's List and I had TONS of calls and I finally found this very nice family and they just loved her and I gave her to them. SAhe was a sweet dog but SO MUCH Trouble I think we were CRAZY to even think about two dogs at this point with all of this stress, but oh well Life was going to be very peaceful without Missy, but then now we have to take care of Amy like 24 hours a day. She needs all these medicines and tons of care and has to be carried outside to go to the bathroom.

We are somehow managing all of this, but Spencer is very upset and the worst thing is that guess what time of year it is? NAMM SHOW!! Yes Bill leaves for the NAMM show on Thursday. SO now I am taking care of Spencer running him to preschool and shopping and taking care of this dog with the broken hip and not getting ANY SLEEP all by myself. I finally took the dog to the vet so they could care for her until Monday when Bill is back, because I just cannot deal anymore.

THEN SOME good news: they are tearing the house down on Tuesday but get this ON MONDAY the Tortfeasor's attorneys want to tour the house. Let's see, its been sitting there all trashed for like 8 months and now on the day before demolition you need to look at it.. Even thought there was like a parade of experts and engineers and insurance people and lawyers all going thru it before. But whatever SO I tell Batman that I will meet them all at the house but then he decides that the Torfeasor's lawyers should not meet us that he has to take them thru alone. Either he wants us to remain a mystery, or he is afraid they will start asking us questions or maybe this is just how it goes I don't care I do not need to meet their stupid lawyers. So I left Batman a key to the padlock on the plywood that is the front door now.

Today I had a GOZILLION other errands to run, and one of them was I had to stop by the vet and see Amy because Spencer misses her but really I think he thinks that she may never come home. Because this is the vet where we took Riley to "live" (put him to sleep) and he never came home. SO I had to take the kid to see Amy and that was fine and he showed her his new little car thing. meanwhile I keep getting these phone calls from Bill and there are like SCREAMING guitars in the background and I think he said he saw Kobe Bryant and Jackson Browne but I could not understand him. He comes home tomorrow night Spencer and I will pick him up from the airport.

The only funny thing that happened all week is this: I kept having to tell Spencer please do not touch Amy or do not go in her crate or just leave her alone... she has a broken hip and she is in a lot of PAIN. Somehow I think he confused this, because on the phone Bill asked Spencer how Amy was doing and he told him: "She is a pain in the ass." and I said "SPENCER!!!" and then he said "She is in PAIN I mean." Really, both things are true.

Lesson You REALLLY have to be careful what you say around your kid.... Bill thought it was hilarious but he had him on Speaker Phone and he was having lunch with his parents... they found it less amusing and probably blame me, the world's worst mom, for this.

You have to admit Spencer is a trooper. He has been trying hard to be good and helping out a lot and so I bought him a Bob the Builder DVD he could watch in the car while we drove around all day. Also Costco had these GREAT LEAP FROG DVDs that teach phonics to three year olds and he realllly loves them.

Bill is home tomorrow. We are all okay and I usually would not neglect my blog but there you have it.

I need a FREAKING vacation. I HATE to complain, but I am losing it but I promise to anyone who is still reading this that I have not abandoned my blog, I just went temporarily insane.

Presidential contender field narrows....

IT IS GETTING TO BE A TIGHT RACE ON BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE...


AND IT WOULD BE PREMATURE TO RULE OUT HILARY AT THIS POINT;

Okay I am truly dating myself here,as this was a very popular button in 92 when I worked on BushQuayle.... Who ever thought she would actually run for Prez at this point?!

I don't hate Hilary, like a lot of people do, but I would not vote for her just because she is a woman. I doubt being First Lady is much experience to be the president. I really like Kucinich or however you spell his name. McCain could deal with the war which is my number one concern right now. ON TODAY this AM they said that the economy is what most people are worried about. NOT ME I hate the war.. I want the war OVER and these men and women to COME HOME. I do not want ONE MORE SOLDIER to die over there. The thought of it just makes me SICK, all of those people dying over there. I know I am simplifying it but I hate that war. It needs to end, and soon, and I am not going to vote this year with my wallet or my heart or my Supreme Court Concerns I am going to vote for WHICH EVER candidate can BEST convince me that they can put an end to all of this. So far, McCain is the ONLY ONE I think who can do that.
As fr Mitt Romeny.. Yikes... GEt this.. He went to my high school, right? Class of 1965. SO every class year has a secretary and I am it for my class year. I write the funny little blurb for the alumni magazi9ne every 6 months. Yesterday I get an email from the Class of 65 guy ASKING for the email addresses of my entire class. so he can tell them to vote and work for Mitt.

Yeah right.

Then I get another email from the alumni office saying THEY were not the source of the letter, and we should NOT do this... Well, DUH.... Then I look at the latest issue of the magazine, and that guy who sent out the letter is NOT the secretary of the class of 85... so who knows what is going on now. but it is a bunch a crap,. truly.
The guy was like "Oh isn't it exciting that a Pres Candidate went to our high school?" Well, Bob Woodward went to our high school too, and Pete Dawkins, and Mary Fisher, and a lot of other famous people that I cannot even remember, but I doubt they would allow one of their sleazeballs to invade the privacy of a huge group of people..

This is only a fractional part of the reason I no longer am involved in Politics. I still vote, but I will never ever work in it again.

Let's try something new...

SO Master Thespian is getting old, and last week I tried something a little different. This week I will try yet another approach to see if you like this better:

MASTER THESPIAN CAGE MATCH/LOVE MATCH:

Part 1:
In a Cage Match, (which I am not even sure what that is, I think it has something to do with wrestling inside of a dog crate possibly) Who would win, and why, between these two Master Thespians:

A Cate Blanchett v Gwyneth Paltrow

B Rob Lowe v Robert Downey Jr

C Meryl Streep v Jane Fonda

Part 2:
In a Love Match, who would make the most interesting couple, as in, who would you most like to have dinner with?

1 Lindsay Lohan and Burt Bacharach

2 Bette Davis and Johnny Depp

3 Reese Witherspoon and Billy Bob Thornton

I cannot wait to see what answers you post...

Here are mine:

1A
I think Gwynneth would win because she does all of that yoga, though I am not sure they are in the same weight class

1B
Robert Downey is a better physical comedian and so I think he would kick Rob Lowe's a**.

1C
I would first sayJane Fonda, just because she did all of those workouts. But then, Meryl can dance so maybe she would break Jane's hip. So Meryl

2

I have to go with B Johnny and Bette. Bette is outrageous and Johnny is just so freaking out there, it would make for an interesting night.

Krazy Birthday Cake:

It was just a little sweet...... like too sweet for me to actually eat but I plowed thru a small piece. The brownies underneath were okay. BUT the best part was that Spencer decorated it himself. Bill spelled the words for him.

You just cannot buy a cake like this one......

AYE MATEY! Now that's a FINE looking bed....

Hurry get one from Costco before they are all gone....

Pirates of the Caribbean Twin Trundle Bed

$1,399.99

Item # 263638

My New Years Resolutions:

1. Write a children's book entitled "My Exploding House."
2. Buy a really ugly $5200 lamp, for the second time.
3. Cook with more duck.
4. Pretend I am at the movies most of the time.
5. Even if the person knows I am not at the movies, plug ears and sing "My Way." They will think you are listening to your iPod.
6. Buy Spencer "Captain Jack Sparrow" Bed from Costco - $800.00 AYE MATEY!
7. Two days a week eat nothing but gummy bears and Tums.
8. Quit my job.
9. Attend Risotto School, a 25 week course on how to make Risotto. Pass this time.
10. Check each week to see if that one bottle of Pinot Grigio in the freezer has exploded yet.
11. More angry emails to PBS Kids Sprout RE: inane "James the Cat" show.
12. Buy more things I do not need and cannot afford over the internet this year.
13. Take money for house rebuild, move to Fiji and never come back.
14. Read another 2200 parenting books, Yes. for sure do that. It realllly helped last year.
15. Repeatedly call Dr. Phil asking: "May I borrow your potato ricer??"
16. Move to a goat farm with brown water, shag carpet and a kitchen from the Etruscan period.
17. Keep daily log of what you wear each day: i.e.:
Jan 1: Shirt, Skirt, dorky Keen Sandals.
Jan 2: Skirt shirt dorky Keen sandals.
Jan 3: Skirt, shirt, dorky Keen sandals... Kinda like that.
18. Crock Pot dinners. Every. Single. Night.
19. Try to impress others by using big words, like loquacious and deviancy and iconoclast.
20. Remove hideous mini blinds from bedroom window. Wear as a skirt. With dorky sandals and shirt.
21. This year, don't make the news, be the news. Be the weather too, and maybe the sports, if there is time left.
22. Bake 37 dozen currant and walnut scones, get on I-205 and throw them at cars, shouting: "What's your hurry? Have a Scone!!!"
23. Boycott the Golden Globes. Also boycott Deal or No Deal, The View, CSI Kurdistan, and James the Cat.


SO what are yours?????

Now THAT'S a BAD DOG.

Perhaps it was not wise to tempt fate by purchasing a dog bed cover that is embroidered with "BAD DOG" but the last one I bought said "BOOGIE" and he was not here long enough... not his fault, I admit it... But I felt that since we seem to of late have this Revolving Dog Door thing going on that I did not want to commit to a name.

But, as with a self fulfilling prophecy, my current two dogs were indeed Bad Dogs, and lived up to the name on their bed by eating it.

I am not replacing it, and as a punishment they both have to sleep on the cover that says "BOOGIE" which I will hope will serve as a reminder that they had better not eat any more stuff, or they might be in trouble......

BIG Day Today... Well, not really .....

But we are taking Spencer to Little Clippers for a haircut. Then hitting Costco And it is snowing again today.

This morning I watched, as I do every Sunday AM the CBS Sunday morning program... You know the one with that older guy?

Anyway They had a thing on fallen veterans of this war, and it made me so so so so so very sad

I hate this war. HATE IT. When will it EVER end and what can I do to help stop all of this hideous horrible hatred in the world. This past year I did reduce slightly my dependence on foreign oil and got rid of my gas pig car.

I wonder what else I can do. I mean we are building the greenest house we can afford to build. We would have bought Hybrid or two but they are REALLLLY expensive. AGAIN I ask what else can I do?

And I also keep thinking, Where is Sonny Bono when we need him? He would never have allowed this war to go on so long. Sonny would have kicked Osama's ass by now.

Silly Little Poem I just wrote.

OUR FORMER LANDLORD, LT. COLONEL DOUCHEBAG

Ode to a former landlord
by Tydwbleach.

By the Way,
I must say,
Seems bad Karma has been sent:
Cuz Faux Chateau is STILL for rent.

http://portland.craigslist.org/clc/apa/521098317.html

Not to brag,
Not to Gloat,
But we are happier with the goat.
Guess Fake France is not so haute.

Not really haiku
but it will do
My kid NEVER, EVER stops talking
How about you?

MASTAH THESPIAN FRIDAY! NEW and IMPROVED!!!! Denzel and Natalie - Together at last

December 28th: On this day Denzel Washington was born.

DENZEL WASHINGTON

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000243/


ON this day Natalie Wood married Robert Wagner.

NATALIE WOOD:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000081/

What are your favorite Denzel and Natalie Movies?

Also a NEW feature of Master Thespian Friday:

NEW FEATURE PART ONE:

Guess the movies these quotes are from:

1
Mr. Boorg: How many children do you have?
Roy: None that I know of. I mean, I'm unable to have children. Nasty cheese grating accident as a boy


2
Corky St. Clair: I was shopping for my wife Bonnie. I buy most of her clothes and Mrs Pearl was in the same shop! And it just was an accident you know, we started talking... about panty hose, she was saying... whatever that's not the point of the story but what the point is is that through this accidental meeting... it's like a Hitchcock movie you know where you're thrown into a rubber bag and put in the trunk of a car, you find people. You find them. Something, is is it karma? Maybe. But we found him, that's the important thing. And I got Bonnie a wonderful pantsuit.

3.
Chaplain: Let us praise God. O Lord...
Congregation: O Lord...
Chaplain: ...Ooh, You are so big...
Congregation: ...ooh, You are so big...
Chaplain: ...So absolutely huge.
Congregation: ...So absolutely huge.
Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Chaplain: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...
Congregation: And barefaced flattery.
Chaplain: But You are so strong and, well, just so super.
Congregation: Fantastic.
Humphrey: Amen.
Congregation: Amen.



NEW FEATURE PART TWO:
From This Photo:



1. Guess what character this is,
2. Who is the thespian playing the character,
3. What movie is it from?



Answer these questions, or post your favorite Movie Moments from Denzel and Natalie

CHRISTMAS MIRACLE: SNOW. In Oregon.

Note: This is NOT the ACTUAL Snow from today.....

Yes, it snowed here today!!! You cannot even imagine how weird that is, But weirder still is how excited everyone is about it. People here LOVE snow, because they never see it or have to deal with it. They do not know what FREEZING RAIN is, or the joys of shoveling your way out of your own back door. I am from Michigan. I Knew the Snow. The Snow was a friend of mine. THIS, sir, is NOT SNOW.

BUT Let them have their fun..

Most of the presents were a hit. The Thomas the Train Aquadoodle was huge, along with the HUGE FIRE TRUCK that has lights, makes siren noises and has a ladder that lifts up. He loved Leap Frog Refrigerator "Word Whammer" thing, and right now he and Bill are in his room with the Leap Frog MY FIRST COMPUTER thing. He loved the dragon kite and most of the clothes from his Aunts.... But then how much does anyone love clothes from their Aunt? He also loves his new Timex For Kids Lizard watch, and his Safari plane that goes along with his Safari jeep from a co called IMAGINEXT HE also has a walking, roaring dinosaur from that co. They make really cool toys.

I took a nap for a bit, since I got hardly any sleep. I was up til dawn attempting to wrap the biggest fire engine in history. It still pales in comparison to the legendary TV Bill got his parents one year. I had to wrap that thing - it was NOT EASY. Worst ever was this talking Winnie the Pooh for Bill's nephews, and I had to re do it like 4 times because Pooh had a lot of moving sticky outy parts. Quelle Nightmare... it never occurred to me to get a GIFT BAG.

The best part of today really was just how excited he was and that we are all together. Later this week I plan to go see CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR with my friend Siri. But today,, later one we will eat Organic Dinner.

I hope all of your Christmases were, if not white, at least nice.

Wow. I am really a grown up now.

Sort of. Well, this year Bill and I did not get each other presents at all. I mean I cheated I got him a Columbia wallet for like 16 bucks and two huge Cadbury bars. He got me two cd's. BUT we got mostly presents for Spencer. The thing that surprises me is that I do not care at all. Its like I am not longer invested so much in "things." I am pretty surprised and happy about this, actually. I guess I would like a better car radio, some other stuff, but honestly I am getting less and less worried about THINGS.

This surprises me.

We got our dinner for tomorrow from WHOLE PAYCHECK (Foods) along with some organic everything else too. Exciting, huh? Spencer is FINALLY in bed we still have a present or two to wrap and then we are gonna watch netflix movies and just relax.

That kid has been insane all week long. Its like every morning he wakes up and its like he was shot out of a cannon, and then he just goes goes goes all day long. he was CRAZY ion Whole Foods today running into people, grabbing asparagus, wandering off, and I only have ONE KID. I do NOT understand how people ever have more than one kid. I love mine SOOOO much but he is ENOUGH He is really a handful. He NEVER EVER stops talking, yelling, jumping around running - he is a total spazz. If I get pregnant again ever I might just have to throw myself in front of a train.

Its Christmas Eve..........

Wow Where did THIS year go?
Well, though we have yet to indoctrinate him on the whole SANTA thing, Spencer will be getting a few presents this year. They are all wrapped and under the tree. I am not sure why we have not done the whole Santa thing I guess because Bill is sort of against it in a way. His parents were, and they never really had Christmas trees. I could care less though I do remember believing in Santa was one of the more magical things in my childhood.

So anyway. Here is what Spencer is getting for Christmas: Two Leap Frong things one is this magnetic thing that helps him sound out letters and words on the refrigerator and also this Leap Frog MY FIRST COMPUTER thing that also will help him learn to read. I have two friends who are teachers that highly recommended this. AND since Spencer will NEVER EVER be allowed to play NINTENDO or PLAYSTATION crap, this is the closest he will get to that. I am dead set against kid doing video games. I just think they are just CRAP - trashy, violent, horrific, and moronic. I am sure I will not be able to prevent him from doing them at other kid's houses etc but we will never have it at home.

HE also got a KITE, that is like nylon and in the shape of a dragon. He will LOVE it. SInce we have two acres I think he can fly it here without any problems. Also, I got him a kid's Timex Watch really cute with a lizard on it. A piggy bank, a raincoat, oh and an AQUA DOODLE which is like this drawing thing.

His big present will have to wait for after we move into the new house, we are getting him a trampoline, but I guess they are a TOTAL pain to set up and everyone says do NOT get one until we get to the new house. We did find a really good one, though a website called JUMPSPORT is reportedly the best and safest trampoline.

So anyway... tomorrow we will drag ourselves once again over to WHOLE FOODS to get dinner. Sad Huh? BUt you cannot make Christmas Dinner in the Crock Pot, so what is a mom to do.. I spent the day partly today making a replica of the Canby Ferry out of this Cardboard Box. We put signs on it and stuff with tape and ribbons and it looks really cool Spencer uses it to push his little cars around the house.

I also watched a movie called A GOOD YEAR after he went to bed. It was really a great movie. Russell Crowe is in it and its really good I really liked it. It is based on the books by Peter Mayle, who wrote the whole A YEAR IN PROVENCE stuff.

I cannot find my phone or else I would post the pics of the Canby Ferry. Spencer loves it. We had a great time doing it. Then he spilled my Diet Pepsi all over me. Then we ate dinner - frozen stuff from Costco.

ONE fun thing about your house blowing up....

You get to build a new one from scratch. Now, this cannot be an entirely different house, unless the foundation is toast and if it is, then all bets are off. We will not know this until they completely rip it down.

I have to admit I am looking forward to picking out things like cabinets, fixtures, wall colors, granite, bathroom tiles... all this kind of stuff. We are reusing SOME things but a lot of it got messed up. Some cabinets, for example, LOOK fine, but upon closer inspection have a sticky residue that will not come off. This is because the finish of the wood MELTED.

Until we get to the part where its time to pick stuff out, it really just bores the hell out of me. I am probably being stupid but I am just pretty much letting Bill think about crap like insulation, energy star water heaters, 90 percent efficiency furnaces and all of that other stupid crap. I am pretty much COMPLETELY burned out on just about ANYTHING having to do with the house. I do not even want to hear the word house. I can only spend about 8 minutes maximum a day talking about anything having to do with the house until my head starts feeling as if it will explode. I mean it literally makes my brain just HURT. SO I am letting Bill just worry about crap with the lawyers, WAMU crap, mediation crap I mean, I help, but I really do not want to hear much about anything until it is time to call Habib the Tile Guy so he can come over and revolutionize my bathroom.

Until that time, I would like to pretty much pretend I am at the movies. I am sitting there drinking my 56 oz $7.00 Diet Pepsi, and eating my box of DOTS or NECCO WAFERS(smuggled in from Walgreen's), and my GINORMOUS $8.00 TUB O POPCORN, that is bigger than my head. I am watching a really great and either extremely funny or extremely engrossing movie. No horror ( Freddy), no gross out stuff (Kingpin), no murder after murder(The Departed), no teenagers(American pie), no cartoons(SHREK), no "message" movies (The American President), where at the end you feel like they are saying, "Now, WHAT have we LEARNED?", no weird ones (Vanilla Sky) where at the end you are going WHAT THE HELL was THAT?",nothing about space or aliens(ALIEN), and NOTHING involving four hour epics about dwarfs, elves, or witch school (you know what they are).

Instead I am watching Tootsie, Rushmore, Out of Africa, Michael Clayton, The Firm, Who Killed the Electric Car?, Best in Show, Spinal Tap... something like this. I am at the movies and planning my new kitchen. I pretty much do not want to hear about anything else.


As Martha would say, "Denial. It's a Good Thing."

Yet Another milestone reached in my Hideous Experimental Cooking.

I am not quite sure what went wrong with this one... It was made in the crock pot, with chicken, sundried tomatoes and artichoke hearts. I guess the first clue might be that even though the recipe said to, chicken should probably not cook for eight hours. It turned out pretty revolting, but at least the dogs liked it. Then I also made this Paula Deen Corn Casserole, which was good but WAY too rich.

I have yet to find many good crock pot recipes. I need to find some, and I have rented out like EVERY SINGLE Crock Pot cookbook in the entire Clackamas County Library System. The other night I made some other weird thing that was like Crock Pot Greek Meatloaf... Its just not working out so well. Maybe I should get a new appliance to work with. Maybe a waffle iron, or a George Foreman Grill.

Well they are sort of starting to tear down the house I mean do prelim work to tear it down strip away some stuff to find the weak points or something like this. I really don't know what the hell they are doing actually. It should get underway soon.

Today I wrapped some presents, and cooked some stuff and went to the mailbox and the library. I wrote more X mas cards, and I have to go back to work in January and already the kid is driving me up the freaking wall. But I do love him.

Well I wish I could write more about my exciting life, but I have to read "Curious George Gets a Medal."

Tear DOWN IS IMINENT.

Builder has the tear down permit.. Just a few details left to iron out and we re gonna rip that sucker down.

This is why I am happy I no longer live in Michigan:

I have a lot of friends and some family there, and I love them all. BUT this is my little brother's house there, and his buried car. What a nightmare. It does not hardly EVER snow here, which is why I am NEVER going back to the snow. I may visit, in warm weather, but I will never LIVE there again.

It rains here day after day after day after day. But you never have to SHOVEL rain.