Does it place itself into the Dishwasher when it finishes cooking your Coq AuVin????

Benefits Associated With The Weight Of Le Creuset

• Distributes the heat more evenly.
• Ensures moisture and flavors are sealed in by heavy, tight fitting lids.
• Increases pan's longevity by preventing warping or burning.
• Retains heat longer, which keeps food hot when serving.
• Is lined with Plutonium
• Pan plays soothing Beethoven which braising your beef
• Comes with a lifetime membership to the Maidstone Club in Easthampton so you can hang with Ina
  
• Act now to receive our rare Columbian emerald encrusted meat thermometer: a $24,999.00 Value!
  

My husband likes to cook, In fact he does most of the cooking in our house I do only my hideous experimental cooking However I do have a specialty and that is the crock pot cooking. I also make GREAT soup. I mean that soup is GREAT I had only made about 400 gallons of it RIGHT before the house exploded and it was all stored in the freezer, which I think a firefighter landed on top of. Our neighbors saved the freezer for us but the soup had to all be thrown away.

Growing up my mother was sort of a vicarious thrill kind of chef.... she would READ cookbooks a lot, and CLIP A TON of recipes particularly form the New Your Times Magazine section every Sunday. In fact, she clipped so many that I found like 7 binders full of clipped recipes and some were from like 1971. I found recipes for black and white food that were from Truman Capote's Black and White ball in 1962. or 66? I dunno ANYWAY. My mother was LITERALLY reading a cookbook on her deathbed.. I mean, like the DAY she died the last book she had read was literally a cook book. I think it was all about having a TAPAS party.... Honestly, I inherited about 200 cookbooks, and I still have them all and yet I still also obsessively rent cookbooks from the library as well.

SO she would also buy a lot of specialty cooking equipment in the hopes that one day she might use it but never ever did. Thus, I also inherited things like springform pans, Madeleine molds, canape cutters, butter molds, puff pastry cutters that make the puff pastry into shells or fish dishes to hold the lobster salad... melon ballers, odd knives and spoons and tongs, demitasse cups, espresso cups, Pots de Creme cups, mini ramekins, you name it, if it was weird, it was in our house. Unfortunately she rarely cooked, and most nights made frozen stuff.

However she did have these weird pans I hated. She was quite proud of her set of Le Creuset cookware - which was in the color BLEU. I only know that when I wanted to scramble some eggs or make a grilled cheese that the saute pan weighed about 34 pounds and was a pain to wash. When I would go to other people's houses I would notice that they had NORMAL stainless steel or whatever cookware, with the copper on the bottom maybe. Did we have any of that? Nope. So non of my friends were risking life and limb pouring the pasta into the colander when it had been cooked in a pan that filled with water weighed about 87 pounds. I reallllly thought my mother was insane and I VOWED NEVER to have those stupid pans in my house when I grew up.

However, since like her, I make a LOT of SOUP like all the time, My regular stock pots are okay but I would prefer a Le Creuset round Dutch Oven like my mother had. I got a set of All Clad for our wedding, but a lot of it has been ruined by burning... sometimes Bill's fault, sometimes mine... and my stock pot is only 6 qts.

SO the other day I went online looking for a Dutch Oven like my mom had. I was thinking maybe a nine quart. I found one. Price? $289.00 ON SALE.

Tell me WHY does this stupid pan cost this much????? The All Clad is the same price, but for my soup I would prefer to have one that cannot be killed by conventional weapons. America's Test Kitchen is this amazing cooking show that also rates equipment. They tested tons of Dutch Ovens. Usually they sort of like to prove that you don't have to spend a million dollars on a chef knife or a grill pan to be a good cook, but in this case? Their panel chose only three.... What do you think those were?

All Clad,
Le Creuset and
Mario Batali.

I looked at Mario's His was the bargain one at ONLY $100.00 and it seems nice but he only makes a 6 qt.
I already have a 6 qt All Clad.
So what does that leave?????
Second verse, same as the first!

Luckily I live down I -5 from the Woodburn Company Stores - which is an Outlet Mall (where the prices seem not that much better than the normal overpriced pretentious mall, Bridgeport Village -home of the Beautiful People, which is just NORTH on I-5.....) but they do have great stores... Columbia, Nike, Gap, Harry & David, and ALSO.....get this, has a Le Creuset OUTLET!!!!! AND I see they are having a sale in the middle of Feb so I will go to that and hope for the best... But I will NEVER NEVER EVER understand why the hell this pan has to cost three hundred dollars?????? It is lined with Plutonium? I mean what the hell is that about anyway????

Gordeeva and Grinkov 1994 Olympics Long Program

This is the best Pairs Long program I have ever ever ever witnessed. The Long program at the 1994 Olympics which won the Gold,(their second gold) by married Russian Pair skaters Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov. He later died of a heart attack after months of weird symptoms that no one caught. She became a solo skater a very successful one and then later married Ilia Kulik, the gold medalist Men's from the Nagano Olympics. She had a daughter with Sergei, Daria, and later,another daughter with Ilia Kulik, named Elizabeth.

My Movie Mood for Saturday

I put some hints in the comments of the Mastah Thespian thing.

Also this is my Movie Mood for Saturday AND

Notice it is one of the trivia questions.

My Movie Mood Today: Its FRIDAY!!!!

John Travolta - these days - let's face it... He's a freak. Seriously. But before Battlefield Earth, the boy had some MOVES.

Do NOT forget to test your movie trivia aptitude below in the latest edition of Mastah Thespian....

MASTER THESPIAN FRIDAY Version 8.2.16.3455

What movies are these quotes from?

1
David Howard: Say it! Say it! Say "I lost the nest-egg." Go on, say it!

2
Barbara Rose: Besides money...
[Barbara kicks off one of her heels and puts her foot in Gavin's crotch]
Barbara Rose: what would it take to get you to help me, Gavin?
Gavin: Come on, put your shoes on, Barbara. I haven't been into feet since '82.

3
Nurse Packer: [reading from a note left by Doc Hogue] "When to call me, you've been stabbed, shot, poisoned, separated from an appendage, knocked or beaten unconscious, run over by a tractor mower, or generally about to bleed to death. Otherwise, leave me alone"

4
Reuben Feffer: Since we have been together I have felt more uncomfortable, out of place, embarassed, and just physically sick then I have in my entire life. But I could not have gone through that, I could not have thrown up 19 times in 48 days if I was not in love with you.

5
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Are you Mr. Miller?
William Miller: Yeah.
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [politely] You have a message from Elaine, your mother.
[pause]
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: She's a handful.
William Miller: I know.
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [seriously] She freaked me out.

6
Doctor Jeff Cooper: You know... you kind of remind me of a bull terrier of some kind.
J.C. Wiatt: Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls.

TRIVIA

Q Bruce Willis was originally set to star in this movie but dropped out, though he appears as himself in its sequel.

Q In which movie did Kevin Costner play a dead guy and then get cut out?

The Best Skating performance I have ever seen

1998 Winter Olympics - Michelle Kwan Long Program Lyra Angelica

She only got the silver, which was complete crap.

My Movie Mood for Thursday

I am not depressed like this guy.... I just think this is hilarious.

Bill has a terrible cold, but otherwise things are okay. Teacher Gina told Bill this afternoon that Spencer is really smart and that he very interested in camels. Not sure about the connection there. It is very very windy tonight The dog is doing great with her hip. I just got that Jessica Seinfeld cookbook from the library, so I guess I am gonna go hide some vegetables in Spencer's food. Oh and we have come up with a theme for Spencer b day party in April.... REPTILES.

My Movie Mood today.... Moonstruck.

Cuz everyone and everything is driving me crazy.

My Movie Mood Today

From RUSHMORE.

Bette Davis, Joan Crawford: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

Here is a clip from the movie Bette Davis is incredible in this movie. I just kind of feel like I am never gonna leave the goat farm.. As if Bette is saying to me.. "Liz YahAhrnt Evah gonna Leave this house..." HAHAHAA

Here's an idea for Master Thespian Friday...

If you can remember a quote from ANY movie, that reflects the mood you are in that day... you should post it on MT FRIDAY.

For example, All this week I will post quotes from Movies that will reflect themood and or moods I am in at the moment.

SO here is how I am feeling today:

I feel like this quote from "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane:" Bette Davis says:

Jane: Blanche, yaharn't ever gonna sell this house... and yaharn't ever gonna leave it... either.

SO: how are YOU feeling today on this Monday Morning?

The Carrot, the Egg and the Coffee Bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. May we all be COFFEE

Superbowl Schmuperbowl....

Anyone besides me NOT watching the Superbowl?

I don't even know who is playing. However you look at it, I could care less about football and most sports except Figure Skating, other Winter Olympics and Summer Olympic Diving events and Gymnastics.

I have a husband who also follows pretty much no sports at all. Neither one of us know who is in it, what it is, where it is, or anything else about it. I know it is today only because they talked about how to avoid overeating at superbowl parties in my WW meeting last week. I will avoid that problem altogether.

LAST weekend, however, I was glued to the TV for the Us National Championships in Figure Skating. Bill is on his laptop today and Spencer is playing with something... not sure what... cold be anything. Oh actually he is playing with his letters on the fridge. As a Christmas present we got him a leap Frog Word Whammer. Its all magnetic for the fridge and it helps kids learn letters and how every letter makes a sound and form words and all of that. He loves it. It talks. The only problem is that we find those letters all over the house...

So, NOT THAT ANYONE IS READING THIS, but if anyone out there wants to report who won it or whatever, go ahead...

Good News Today!!!!

We got very good news today: The structural engineer came back to the house today as it is now all torn down and confirmed that the foundation is perfectly FINE!!!!! There was little or no damage on it and they are going to sign off on it. This is great news because it means that we will NOT have to pay to dig it up then have it re poured at a cost of like freaking $40K at the very least...

SO THAT was good news. WE talked to the Builder today Nick the Builder and he is getting everything in line to start construction in three weeks. He has to line up equipment, supplies, etc all of that stuff.

THIS IS PROGRESS!

Also there was a moment of levity in all of this tear down activity. Spencer was walking around the site the other day and he looked at this HUGE piece of wood that Nick has decided he can reuse on the new house.

He points to it and tell Bill: "Daddy, that is an I-Beam. Nick is gonna try to reuse it."

And we thought that whole obsession with Bob the Builder was a waste of time.....

Actually I learned a lot too, as during the tear down process they used this thing called a track hoe which was like a giant dinosaur mouth on the stick... and the guy was SO GOOD and picking all of the stuff up. I though You know? That would be a GREAT job to have!!!! I think it would be so cool to sit up in that thing and wield it around all day picking stuff up. I was fascinated...seriously It was like some kind of hard hat ballet. I loved it.

SO Maybe I'll figure out how to do that, and get that job. Probably you start here: http://www.heta4.com/

MASTER THESPIAN FRIDAY: NEW & IMPROVED

HINT PICTURE is ABOVE^

This is what a house foundation looks like... ^^

MASTER THESPIAN FRIDAY:

1. Name all the movies the quotes below in these two groups are from:

Group 1:

Quote A

Quote B

Quote C

Quote D

Actor all these movies have in common:

Group 2:

Quote A

Quote B

Quote C

Quote D

Actor all these movies have in common:

2. Once you come up with both actors, what movie did they do together?The Picture above is the HINT for Question 2

3. Who directed that movie?
   

Group 1:

Quote A

[Jo Jo is throwing self help books into a fire]
Ben Floss: Those were gifts.
Jo Jo Floss: "Grieving for Grownups"?
Ben Floss: They're supposed to be helpful.
Jo Jo Floss: Please. THIS is helpful.
[Throws another book into the fire]

Quote B

Abby McDeere: What are they going to do to you?
Avery Tolar: Whatever it is, they did it a long time ago.

Quote C

Aaron Altman: And if things had gone differently for me tonight then I probably wouldn't be saying any of this. I grant you everything. But give me this: he personifies everything that you've been fighting against. And I'm in love with you. How do you like that? I buried the lead.

Quote D

Ulysses Everett McGill: Why are you telling our gals that I was hit by a train?
Penny Wharvey McGill: Lots of respectable people have been hit by trains. Judge Hobbie over in Cookville was hit by a train. What was I gonna tell them, that you got sent to the penal farm and I divorced you from shame?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Uh, I take your point. But it does put me in a damn awkward position, vis-a-vis my progeny.

Group 2:

Quote A

[Crabtree and a student drag James, hopped up on codeine, out of the auditorium]
James Leer: The doors made so much noise!
Grady Tripp: Is he all right?
James Leer: It was so embarrassing! He had to be carried out.
Terry Crabtree: He's fine. He's narrating.
James Leer: They were going to the restroom. But would they make it in time?

Quote B

Celeste Talbert: [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...
[At their table]
Ariel Maloney: Bitch!
David Barnes: Hag!
Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much!

Quote C

Douglas: Say, are you two still married or what? I find it all very confusing.
Charlie: Mmm... it's not at all confusing. You see, when everyone thought we were having an affair, we were married. Now that everyone realizes we're married, we're getting divorced.
Douglas: Man's a wizard with women. No question about it.

Quote D

Billy Covingtonn: Gene, you cant sell the plane! It's government property!
Gene Ryack: The U.S. Government doesn't exist in Laos and neither does this plane!
Billy Covington: Good point!

Going, Going, Going, GONE!!!!

Hey you know a lot of people would be saddened by these pics and I should be one of them I guess, but as I predicted, I was NOT. And I think we should have had the stairs outside the WHOLE TIME!!!! I love how in the last one there is a guy in what is left of the kitchen... It looks like he is just gonna do some dishes or something. The blue and green stuff on the top floor is Spencer's bathroom. It was cute, it had a skylight. I was NOT sad at watching all of it crash to the ground. I should be maybe but I feel just mad at myself for complaining so much. Anon is right there are people in houses that are losing them or people with Cancer or death and I mean they are really up a tree you know? I still have Spencer, Bill, Amy the Broken Hip dog (doing MUCH better!) and Elmo the goat.

Frankly though the worst of it is still ahead of us the fight over it all, the mediation, The best is coming too, as we get to rebuild a new house that is TOTALLY ours. How bad can that be? I can stand the goat farm a little longer.. I actually think I may MISS the goat...He and I are a lot alike. He has a sort of a crabby curmudgeonly personality, yet he just keeps hanging in there. The goat and I may be soulmates.

Tear Down begins at dawn....One last rant before I go....

Our House on day of explosion. Those long metal strips in the road are parts of the garage that flew 80 feet and landed there.

7:30 AM to be exact tomorrow AM. I will be there to watch and so will Bill and Spencer, But then Spencer has to get to preschool at 9. Bill says he is sad about it, and that I will be too, and that I do not know how I wil feel until I see it. I maintain that I will be not a bit sad about it, as I am sick of the entire thing and if tearing it downs gets us one step closer to leaving this godforsaken effing goat farm than how bad can that be?????

I HATE the goat farm. I hate the seventies decor, I hate the formica the linoleum and the rose wallpaper all over the place. I hate that it has very little insulation so that it is always freezing cold, I hate the brown shag, the brown water, taking sulfer showers and watching the food chain in action in my own back yard. i hate that my dog came home with a duck in her mouth, and that I even have to know that dogs hunt birds. I hate all the lawn signs protesting the chicken factory or whatever that is supposedly trying to move here. I hate that we have two stinky barns. I hate that we live in this busy road where people fly down it and our dog ran out and was almost killed by one of these cow owning, truck driving yahoos. I hate all skunks, possums, goats, pigs, cows, llamas, alpacas, horses, sheep and that freaking ginormous Great Dane from next door that hangs out in our backyard all the time and lays horrendous turd-a-roonies in our bushes. I hate those weird Amish Children Of The Corn kids who mocked me at the Wilco Farm store when I asked them what they were gonna so with the baby chicks they bought. They were like "Raise them, Like DUH!" I hate seeing guys in Carhart and whiskers and plaid. I hate that I ever have to go into the field with the goat to get Spencer's red wagon and have to avoid stepping and falling into gopher holes. I don't even know what a freaking gopher is nor why they have holes. I hate so many of these weirdos who live out here who look at me like I am insane when I ask them a simple question... "Where do you THINK we will keep the chickens??? In the Coop, of course!!!" You know, I grew up in the suburbs, where the biggest problem was pure boredom. I never had to learn where my food comes from and I am pretty sure I do not need to ever know it now.

Farm Living Ain't the Life for Me. I want my normal kitchen back, to live in my real neighborhood and once again hang out with our friends and talk about normal things and watch each other's kids and trade recipes and all of this stuff, and have fun and just laugh until it gets dark. I want to sit on my patio and not smell and hear cows and donkeys and whatever the f*ck else that guy next door owns....I want to yell at Spencer for driving his Jeep too fast.

I sound like a spoiled rotten little bitch right now, one who was not previously aware that goats are "good eatin'." I wish there was some kind of gas I could inhale that would put me asleep until our house is built and we are all moved in. I am ready for the beginning of the end of this nightmare, so tear the freaking piece of crap, that monument to disaster RIGHT DOWN. Tomorrow AM is fine but if you want to start tonight that is okay too. And I will be the LEAST SAD person there.

The Schedule, for those of you keeping score at home...

On Monday Bill works at the preschool for the entire day. I packed both Spencer AND Teacher Bill a lunch and he sits right at the teeny table with the kidlets. Spencer loves it. I cannot wait for the end of the day because Bill has just the most hilarious stories to tell me after working there.

THen he will go to the house and finish pulling any of the cabinets we are keeping.

Tear down of the house is Tuesday. Tuesday night Bill will drive to Poulsbo WA to work in his friend TV Jones - an excellent guitar and pick up maker and work there in his shop all day Wednesday . I will once again be alone with the boy and the dog, but I will manage. I just hope no house issues come up while he is gone, but its only like 24 hours and he is only three hours away.

The broken hip dog is doing really well, she is getting around great on three legs and is just in very good spirits.

This weekend I mostly watched the US Nationals (figure skating) on tv for two days... Hey its my Superbowl, get over it... and that was fun. It snowed here today and everyone went crazy with joy as usual. Snow is a novelty in Oregon, Everyone loves it. Idiots.. but I let them have their fun.

Last week at WW I gained 0.2 lbs and its not a big deal but it pissed me off nonetheless so I tried to be diligent this week. I ordered new yearly pages for my Franklin planner. I was sick of looking at the freaking Steven Covey BullSh*t pages I had leftover from when I worked with the Nerds, so this year I went for the girly ones. I can use any pages I want. I don't even have a job right now.

Am I HAPPILY unemployed? Well no - I miss the money a little, and the routine of getting up, grabbing my lunch, hitting the drive thru espresso place and thinking about something else for 4 hours a day BUT it WAS stressful for me with all of this other house BS to deal with and now with the prep for the mediation its getting worse. Its a big relief to concentrate only on that, and also just to be able to have time to spend time with the kid, get stuff done and not worry about things like - Ooops did I leave the house with my shirt inside out again? Is there gas in my car?
When you work you have to kind of look like a normal person. Now though, I am back to my regular, braless, crazy looking, deranged, bedhead, glazed over kooky self: Sandals in January? Why not! Altoids for dinner? OKAY! Wear the Curves Clothes ALL DAY? Not a Problem. I guess I am enjoying a little down time, and since I live on a goat farm - no one really sees me except the goat. So far, he is not complaining.

Nerdy White Guys Are On the Case.

Well, today we met with the Structural Engineer, and they are going to come out after the house is torn down (Supposedly this Tuesday it will start....) and see if the foundation is okay. However because they are really nice guys (and not all that nerdy, really) they came out today to see it BEFORE it is torn down. We also gave them a set of plans, and a cd full of pictures. They gave us also tips on how to carefully proceed to tear it down in a way to not damage the foundation any further. If the foundation is bad, which we hope it is not, things are gonna get a whole lot worse. but I already live on a goat farm with brown carpet and brown well water...so maybe I am ready.

The guy was actually really nice. A LOT of stuff is out of the house most things that were even bolted down are gone now too, things that we may reuse in the garage or something such as cabinets, etc. They were able to remove the granite from the kitchen and we will TRY to reuse it in the kitchen but we doubt it will work, BUT worth a try. If not, Bill will use it in the garage as a work bench etc.

Supposedly tear down is this Tuesday.

We got a message from Missy the Beagle's new family that they really love her and she is a sweet dog and its working out so far and they really really like her. We liked her too, when she was the only dog in the house. Then she started eating sticks of butter, peeing in the dining room every day, running away constantly, turning over the garbage three times a day and terrorizing the neighbor's Llamas and chickens etc. We are very very happy that she is very very happy. We hope we never get the call to take her back. If those people call one day to say please come and get her it will take all the self control I have to not pretend that I do not speak English. Call-a back-a Please and Thank You por Favor Grazi sayonara. Ou Est La Plage? Regardez Le Neige! Voulez-vous de Beuerre? I realllllllllly disliked that animal at the end and honestly life is SO peaceful without her.

of course this could be because the other dog lives in her crate right now and hops around on three legs like twice a day. Amy is doing great actually and we are so grateful that she is still with us. SO many times when it is dog v car, things do not turn out well at all and the very worst thing happens... She still STILL smells a bit of skunk but it is slowly fading.

The goat farm is Freezing, and this house apparently was last insulated in the mesozoic era. This house is freezing like 24 hours a day. Of course it is really cold here right now, even the goat's water is a block of ice every morning and we have to go out and thaw it for him daily.

Just doing exploded house stuff, hanging out, getting ready for mediation and whatever... Oh and I have made a large investment in Frozen Foods. No one likes my cooking anyway.

MASTER THESPIAN FRIDAY: Guess the QUOTES

MASTER THESPIAN FRIDAY:

This week it is: NAME THE MOVIES THIS QUOTES ARE FROM:

1.

General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, about, uh, 35 minutes ago, General Jack Ripper, the commanding general of, uh, Burpelson Air Force Base, issued an order to the 34 B-52's of his Wing, which were airborne at the time as part of a special exercise we were holding called Operation Drop-Kick. Now, it appears that the order called for the planes to, uh, attack their targets inside Russia. The, uh, planes are fully armed with nuclear weapons with an average load of, um, 40 megatons each. Now, the central display of Russia will indicate the position of the planes. The triangles are their primary targets; the squares are their secondary targets. The aircraft will begin penetrating Russian radar cover within, uh, 25 minutes.
President Merkin Muffley: General Turgidson, I find this very difficult to understand. I was under the impression that I was the only one in authority to order the use of nuclear weapons.
General "Buck" Turgidson: That's right, sir, you are the only person authorized to do so. And although I, uh, hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like, uh, General Ripper exceeded his authority.

2.

Franck Eggelhoffer: Armani don't make polyester.

3.

Chip Douglas: I forgive you. I only hope my neurologist will feel the same.

4.

Tiger Tanaka: Permit me to introduce myself. I am Tanaka. Please call me Tiger.
James Bond: If you're Tanaka, then how do you feel about me?
Tiger Tanaka: [the code response] I... love you.
James Bond: Well, I'm glad we got that out of the way.

5.

Andie: You know your talking like that just because I'm going out with Blane
Duckie: His name is Blane? Oh! That's a major appliance, that's not a name!

6.

Mr. Furious: I'm a Pantera's box you do not wanna open.
Casanova Frankenstein: It is "Pandora."
Mr. Furious: Please don't correct me, it sickens me.

7.

Jake: That Night Train's a mean wine.

8.

Harris: Let us just say I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.

9.

Jack Lucas: Did you lose your mind all at once, or was it a slow, gradual process?

10.

Ed Exley: All I ever wanted was to measure up to my father.
Bud White: Now's your chance. He died in the line of duty, didn't he?

We are all doing better.

Amy is home from being boarded at the Vet Hospital and she is getting around pretty well on three legs. IF her hip heals as well as they think it will she may not need surgery. The Torfeasors lawyers have come and gone from the house, but its still not torn down yet, but this is in the works. We were able to save the granite, whether it will be usable in the kitchen again or not is debatable but its worth a try, if not, we will use it as a workbench in the garage for Bill.

I am busy running around getting records and stuff for the lawyers. Tons of Fun, but as always it could be worse.

WHAT A WEEK.

Okay I admit that I have not even posted ONE TIME in an entire week, but if you only knew what this week was like... you will understand.

On Monday I had to drive alllll over hell dropping stuff at the Lawyer's office, running cable boxes places you name it I was everywhere in my little Toyota. That was Monday night. For dinner that night, instead of cooking because we were all so exhausted we just went to Red Robin. Dumb Idea the night before Weight Watcher's BUT I had a birthday coupon for a free entree that was going to expire in two days. Get this we get there and My friend Siri and Steve and her son Travis are there!!! She and I are in WW together!!! That was fun but things went weird after this.

We had been debating about rehoming (finding a new home for) Missy. yeah I know this is like our 19th dog but Missy was TRULY a HUGE pain in the ass Sher got into everything, tipped over the garbage like three times a day. peed in the family room over and over and over Ran away constantly got into the neighbor's chicken coop, She is a Beagle I guess this is how they are and honeslty they are adorable but she was a complete pain in the ass. We had just about had it with her shenanigans and it was just TOO MUCH STRESS. Amy is a great dog and she is well behaved and we are keeping her for sure.
SO we get home from Red Robin, and Missy runs away again but this time it is dark and Amy follows her. YIKES so Bill goes out looking for mIssy and she hjad found a SKUNK greaaat... so then she comes back and we still cannot find Amy we live in a very busy dark road, and we never let them out together because Amy follows Missy wherever and Missy just follows her nose. BUT Amy snuck out the garage which Bill had open for a bit because we had been unloading the car.

He drives around looking for her, sees her JUST in time to WATCH HER GET HIT BY A CAR. We already lost a dog this way in San Jose, and it was just horrible Poor Banjo, BUT this dog LIVES!!!! SO we scoop her up she is howling in pain, her head is bleeding, we don't know if she is gonna make it alive to the ONLY emergency vet in Tualatin WHICH IS LIKE 15 MILES AWAY.

We scoop up the dog, and Spencer and everyone is upset and Spencer is scared and its nightmarish. OH and she smells like SKUNK. SO we rush her in and they say she has a broken hip at the joint. which is terribly painful and the only treatment is REST. She will not ba able to walk for WEEKS. THen maybe if shes okay after this MAYBE she can get an operation where they replace the socket.

In the meant time I had place an ad for Miss on Craig's List and I had TONS of calls and I finally found this very nice family and they just loved her and I gave her to them. SAhe was a sweet dog but SO MUCH Trouble I think we were CRAZY to even think about two dogs at this point with all of this stress, but oh well Life was going to be very peaceful without Missy, but then now we have to take care of Amy like 24 hours a day. She needs all these medicines and tons of care and has to be carried outside to go to the bathroom.

We are somehow managing all of this, but Spencer is very upset and the worst thing is that guess what time of year it is? NAMM SHOW!! Yes Bill leaves for the NAMM show on Thursday. SO now I am taking care of Spencer running him to preschool and shopping and taking care of this dog with the broken hip and not getting ANY SLEEP all by myself. I finally took the dog to the vet so they could care for her until Monday when Bill is back, because I just cannot deal anymore.

THEN SOME good news: they are tearing the house down on Tuesday but get this ON MONDAY the Tortfeasor's attorneys want to tour the house. Let's see, its been sitting there all trashed for like 8 months and now on the day before demolition you need to look at it.. Even thought there was like a parade of experts and engineers and insurance people and lawyers all going thru it before. But whatever SO I tell Batman that I will meet them all at the house but then he decides that the Torfeasor's lawyers should not meet us that he has to take them thru alone. Either he wants us to remain a mystery, or he is afraid they will start asking us questions or maybe this is just how it goes I don't care I do not need to meet their stupid lawyers. So I left Batman a key to the padlock on the plywood that is the front door now.

Today I had a GOZILLION other errands to run, and one of them was I had to stop by the vet and see Amy because Spencer misses her but really I think he thinks that she may never come home. Because this is the vet where we took Riley to "live" (put him to sleep) and he never came home. SO I had to take the kid to see Amy and that was fine and he showed her his new little car thing. meanwhile I keep getting these phone calls from Bill and there are like SCREAMING guitars in the background and I think he said he saw Kobe Bryant and Jackson Browne but I could not understand him. He comes home tomorrow night Spencer and I will pick him up from the airport.

The only funny thing that happened all week is this: I kept having to tell Spencer please do not touch Amy or do not go in her crate or just leave her alone... she has a broken hip and she is in a lot of PAIN. Somehow I think he confused this, because on the phone Bill asked Spencer how Amy was doing and he told him: "She is a pain in the ass." and I said "SPENCER!!!" and then he said "She is in PAIN I mean." Really, both things are true.

Lesson You REALLLY have to be careful what you say around your kid.... Bill thought it was hilarious but he had him on Speaker Phone and he was having lunch with his parents... they found it less amusing and probably blame me, the world's worst mom, for this.

You have to admit Spencer is a trooper. He has been trying hard to be good and helping out a lot and so I bought him a Bob the Builder DVD he could watch in the car while we drove around all day. Also Costco had these GREAT LEAP FROG DVDs that teach phonics to three year olds and he realllly loves them.

Bill is home tomorrow. We are all okay and I usually would not neglect my blog but there you have it.

I need a FREAKING vacation. I HATE to complain, but I am losing it but I promise to anyone who is still reading this that I have not abandoned my blog, I just went temporarily insane.

Presidential contender field narrows....

IT IS GETTING TO BE A TIGHT RACE ON BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE...


AND IT WOULD BE PREMATURE TO RULE OUT HILARY AT THIS POINT;

Okay I am truly dating myself here,as this was a very popular button in 92 when I worked on BushQuayle.... Who ever thought she would actually run for Prez at this point?!

I don't hate Hilary, like a lot of people do, but I would not vote for her just because she is a woman. I doubt being First Lady is much experience to be the president. I really like Kucinich or however you spell his name. McCain could deal with the war which is my number one concern right now. ON TODAY this AM they said that the economy is what most people are worried about. NOT ME I hate the war.. I want the war OVER and these men and women to COME HOME. I do not want ONE MORE SOLDIER to die over there. The thought of it just makes me SICK, all of those people dying over there. I know I am simplifying it but I hate that war. It needs to end, and soon, and I am not going to vote this year with my wallet or my heart or my Supreme Court Concerns I am going to vote for WHICH EVER candidate can BEST convince me that they can put an end to all of this. So far, McCain is the ONLY ONE I think who can do that.
As fr Mitt Romeny.. Yikes... GEt this.. He went to my high school, right? Class of 1965. SO every class year has a secretary and I am it for my class year. I write the funny little blurb for the alumni magazi9ne every 6 months. Yesterday I get an email from the Class of 65 guy ASKING for the email addresses of my entire class. so he can tell them to vote and work for Mitt.

Yeah right.

Then I get another email from the alumni office saying THEY were not the source of the letter, and we should NOT do this... Well, DUH.... Then I look at the latest issue of the magazine, and that guy who sent out the letter is NOT the secretary of the class of 85... so who knows what is going on now. but it is a bunch a crap,. truly.
The guy was like "Oh isn't it exciting that a Pres Candidate went to our high school?" Well, Bob Woodward went to our high school too, and Pete Dawkins, and Mary Fisher, and a lot of other famous people that I cannot even remember, but I doubt they would allow one of their sleazeballs to invade the privacy of a huge group of people..

This is only a fractional part of the reason I no longer am involved in Politics. I still vote, but I will never ever work in it again.

Let's try something new...

SO Master Thespian is getting old, and last week I tried something a little different. This week I will try yet another approach to see if you like this better:

MASTER THESPIAN CAGE MATCH/LOVE MATCH:

Part 1:
In a Cage Match, (which I am not even sure what that is, I think it has something to do with wrestling inside of a dog crate possibly) Who would win, and why, between these two Master Thespians:

A Cate Blanchett v Gwyneth Paltrow

B Rob Lowe v Robert Downey Jr

C Meryl Streep v Jane Fonda

Part 2:
In a Love Match, who would make the most interesting couple, as in, who would you most like to have dinner with?

1 Lindsay Lohan and Burt Bacharach

2 Bette Davis and Johnny Depp

3 Reese Witherspoon and Billy Bob Thornton

I cannot wait to see what answers you post...

Here are mine:

1A
I think Gwynneth would win because she does all of that yoga, though I am not sure they are in the same weight class

1B
Robert Downey is a better physical comedian and so I think he would kick Rob Lowe's a**.

1C
I would first sayJane Fonda, just because she did all of those workouts. But then, Meryl can dance so maybe she would break Jane's hip. So Meryl

2

I have to go with B Johnny and Bette. Bette is outrageous and Johnny is just so freaking out there, it would make for an interesting night.

Krazy Birthday Cake:

It was just a little sweet...... like too sweet for me to actually eat but I plowed thru a small piece. The brownies underneath were okay. BUT the best part was that Spencer decorated it himself. Bill spelled the words for him.

You just cannot buy a cake like this one......

AYE MATEY! Now that's a FINE looking bed....

Hurry get one from Costco before they are all gone....

Pirates of the Caribbean Twin Trundle Bed

$1,399.99

Item # 263638

My New Years Resolutions:

1. Write a children's book entitled "My Exploding House."
2. Buy a really ugly $5200 lamp, for the second time.
3. Cook with more duck.
4. Pretend I am at the movies most of the time.
5. Even if the person knows I am not at the movies, plug ears and sing "My Way." They will think you are listening to your iPod.
6. Buy Spencer "Captain Jack Sparrow" Bed from Costco - $800.00 AYE MATEY!
7. Two days a week eat nothing but gummy bears and Tums.
8. Quit my job.
9. Attend Risotto School, a 25 week course on how to make Risotto. Pass this time.
10. Check each week to see if that one bottle of Pinot Grigio in the freezer has exploded yet.
11. More angry emails to PBS Kids Sprout RE: inane "James the Cat" show.
12. Buy more things I do not need and cannot afford over the internet this year.
13. Take money for house rebuild, move to Fiji and never come back.
14. Read another 2200 parenting books, Yes. for sure do that. It realllly helped last year.
15. Repeatedly call Dr. Phil asking: "May I borrow your potato ricer??"
16. Move to a goat farm with brown water, shag carpet and a kitchen from the Etruscan period.
17. Keep daily log of what you wear each day: i.e.:
Jan 1: Shirt, Skirt, dorky Keen Sandals.
Jan 2: Skirt shirt dorky Keen sandals.
Jan 3: Skirt, shirt, dorky Keen sandals... Kinda like that.
18. Crock Pot dinners. Every. Single. Night.
19. Try to impress others by using big words, like loquacious and deviancy and iconoclast.
20. Remove hideous mini blinds from bedroom window. Wear as a skirt. With dorky sandals and shirt.
21. This year, don't make the news, be the news. Be the weather too, and maybe the sports, if there is time left.
22. Bake 37 dozen currant and walnut scones, get on I-205 and throw them at cars, shouting: "What's your hurry? Have a Scone!!!"
23. Boycott the Golden Globes. Also boycott Deal or No Deal, The View, CSI Kurdistan, and James the Cat.


SO what are yours?????

Now THAT'S a BAD DOG.

Perhaps it was not wise to tempt fate by purchasing a dog bed cover that is embroidered with "BAD DOG" but the last one I bought said "BOOGIE" and he was not here long enough... not his fault, I admit it... But I felt that since we seem to of late have this Revolving Dog Door thing going on that I did not want to commit to a name.

But, as with a self fulfilling prophecy, my current two dogs were indeed Bad Dogs, and lived up to the name on their bed by eating it.

I am not replacing it, and as a punishment they both have to sleep on the cover that says "BOOGIE" which I will hope will serve as a reminder that they had better not eat any more stuff, or they might be in trouble......

BIG Day Today... Well, not really .....

But we are taking Spencer to Little Clippers for a haircut. Then hitting Costco And it is snowing again today.

This morning I watched, as I do every Sunday AM the CBS Sunday morning program... You know the one with that older guy?

Anyway They had a thing on fallen veterans of this war, and it made me so so so so so very sad

I hate this war. HATE IT. When will it EVER end and what can I do to help stop all of this hideous horrible hatred in the world. This past year I did reduce slightly my dependence on foreign oil and got rid of my gas pig car.

I wonder what else I can do. I mean we are building the greenest house we can afford to build. We would have bought Hybrid or two but they are REALLLLY expensive. AGAIN I ask what else can I do?

And I also keep thinking, Where is Sonny Bono when we need him? He would never have allowed this war to go on so long. Sonny would have kicked Osama's ass by now.

Silly Little Poem I just wrote.

OUR FORMER LANDLORD, LT. COLONEL DOUCHEBAG

Ode to a former landlord
by Tydwbleach.

By the Way,
I must say,
Seems bad Karma has been sent:
Cuz Faux Chateau is STILL for rent.

http://portland.craigslist.org/clc/apa/521098317.html

Not to brag,
Not to Gloat,
But we are happier with the goat.
Guess Fake France is not so haute.

Not really haiku
but it will do
My kid NEVER, EVER stops talking
How about you?

MASTAH THESPIAN FRIDAY! NEW and IMPROVED!!!! Denzel and Natalie - Together at last

December 28th: On this day Denzel Washington was born.

DENZEL WASHINGTON

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000243/


ON this day Natalie Wood married Robert Wagner.

NATALIE WOOD:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000081/

What are your favorite Denzel and Natalie Movies?

Also a NEW feature of Master Thespian Friday:

NEW FEATURE PART ONE:

Guess the movies these quotes are from:

1
Mr. Boorg: How many children do you have?
Roy: None that I know of. I mean, I'm unable to have children. Nasty cheese grating accident as a boy


2
Corky St. Clair: I was shopping for my wife Bonnie. I buy most of her clothes and Mrs Pearl was in the same shop! And it just was an accident you know, we started talking... about panty hose, she was saying... whatever that's not the point of the story but what the point is is that through this accidental meeting... it's like a Hitchcock movie you know where you're thrown into a rubber bag and put in the trunk of a car, you find people. You find them. Something, is is it karma? Maybe. But we found him, that's the important thing. And I got Bonnie a wonderful pantsuit.

3.
Chaplain: Let us praise God. O Lord...
Congregation: O Lord...
Chaplain: ...Ooh, You are so big...
Congregation: ...ooh, You are so big...
Chaplain: ...So absolutely huge.
Congregation: ...So absolutely huge.
Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Chaplain: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...
Congregation: And barefaced flattery.
Chaplain: But You are so strong and, well, just so super.
Congregation: Fantastic.
Humphrey: Amen.
Congregation: Amen.



NEW FEATURE PART TWO:
From This Photo:



1. Guess what character this is,
2. Who is the thespian playing the character,
3. What movie is it from?



Answer these questions, or post your favorite Movie Moments from Denzel and Natalie

CHRISTMAS MIRACLE: SNOW. In Oregon.

Note: This is NOT the ACTUAL Snow from today.....

Yes, it snowed here today!!! You cannot even imagine how weird that is, But weirder still is how excited everyone is about it. People here LOVE snow, because they never see it or have to deal with it. They do not know what FREEZING RAIN is, or the joys of shoveling your way out of your own back door. I am from Michigan. I Knew the Snow. The Snow was a friend of mine. THIS, sir, is NOT SNOW.

BUT Let them have their fun..

Most of the presents were a hit. The Thomas the Train Aquadoodle was huge, along with the HUGE FIRE TRUCK that has lights, makes siren noises and has a ladder that lifts up. He loved Leap Frog Refrigerator "Word Whammer" thing, and right now he and Bill are in his room with the Leap Frog MY FIRST COMPUTER thing. He loved the dragon kite and most of the clothes from his Aunts.... But then how much does anyone love clothes from their Aunt? He also loves his new Timex For Kids Lizard watch, and his Safari plane that goes along with his Safari jeep from a co called IMAGINEXT HE also has a walking, roaring dinosaur from that co. They make really cool toys.

I took a nap for a bit, since I got hardly any sleep. I was up til dawn attempting to wrap the biggest fire engine in history. It still pales in comparison to the legendary TV Bill got his parents one year. I had to wrap that thing - it was NOT EASY. Worst ever was this talking Winnie the Pooh for Bill's nephews, and I had to re do it like 4 times because Pooh had a lot of moving sticky outy parts. Quelle Nightmare... it never occurred to me to get a GIFT BAG.

The best part of today really was just how excited he was and that we are all together. Later this week I plan to go see CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR with my friend Siri. But today,, later one we will eat Organic Dinner.

I hope all of your Christmases were, if not white, at least nice.

Wow. I am really a grown up now.

Sort of. Well, this year Bill and I did not get each other presents at all. I mean I cheated I got him a Columbia wallet for like 16 bucks and two huge Cadbury bars. He got me two cd's. BUT we got mostly presents for Spencer. The thing that surprises me is that I do not care at all. Its like I am not longer invested so much in "things." I am pretty surprised and happy about this, actually. I guess I would like a better car radio, some other stuff, but honestly I am getting less and less worried about THINGS.

This surprises me.

We got our dinner for tomorrow from WHOLE PAYCHECK (Foods) along with some organic everything else too. Exciting, huh? Spencer is FINALLY in bed we still have a present or two to wrap and then we are gonna watch netflix movies and just relax.

That kid has been insane all week long. Its like every morning he wakes up and its like he was shot out of a cannon, and then he just goes goes goes all day long. he was CRAZY ion Whole Foods today running into people, grabbing asparagus, wandering off, and I only have ONE KID. I do NOT understand how people ever have more than one kid. I love mine SOOOO much but he is ENOUGH He is really a handful. He NEVER EVER stops talking, yelling, jumping around running - he is a total spazz. If I get pregnant again ever I might just have to throw myself in front of a train.

Its Christmas Eve..........

Wow Where did THIS year go?
Well, though we have yet to indoctrinate him on the whole SANTA thing, Spencer will be getting a few presents this year. They are all wrapped and under the tree. I am not sure why we have not done the whole Santa thing I guess because Bill is sort of against it in a way. His parents were, and they never really had Christmas trees. I could care less though I do remember believing in Santa was one of the more magical things in my childhood.

So anyway. Here is what Spencer is getting for Christmas: Two Leap Frong things one is this magnetic thing that helps him sound out letters and words on the refrigerator and also this Leap Frog MY FIRST COMPUTER thing that also will help him learn to read. I have two friends who are teachers that highly recommended this. AND since Spencer will NEVER EVER be allowed to play NINTENDO or PLAYSTATION crap, this is the closest he will get to that. I am dead set against kid doing video games. I just think they are just CRAP - trashy, violent, horrific, and moronic. I am sure I will not be able to prevent him from doing them at other kid's houses etc but we will never have it at home.

HE also got a KITE, that is like nylon and in the shape of a dragon. He will LOVE it. SInce we have two acres I think he can fly it here without any problems. Also, I got him a kid's Timex Watch really cute with a lizard on it. A piggy bank, a raincoat, oh and an AQUA DOODLE which is like this drawing thing.

His big present will have to wait for after we move into the new house, we are getting him a trampoline, but I guess they are a TOTAL pain to set up and everyone says do NOT get one until we get to the new house. We did find a really good one, though a website called JUMPSPORT is reportedly the best and safest trampoline.

So anyway... tomorrow we will drag ourselves once again over to WHOLE FOODS to get dinner. Sad Huh? BUt you cannot make Christmas Dinner in the Crock Pot, so what is a mom to do.. I spent the day partly today making a replica of the Canby Ferry out of this Cardboard Box. We put signs on it and stuff with tape and ribbons and it looks really cool Spencer uses it to push his little cars around the house.

I also watched a movie called A GOOD YEAR after he went to bed. It was really a great movie. Russell Crowe is in it and its really good I really liked it. It is based on the books by Peter Mayle, who wrote the whole A YEAR IN PROVENCE stuff.

I cannot find my phone or else I would post the pics of the Canby Ferry. Spencer loves it. We had a great time doing it. Then he spilled my Diet Pepsi all over me. Then we ate dinner - frozen stuff from Costco.